Vic ended the phone call and chuckled as he put the phone away. “He said you can use it, Frank. Where you going? What? You mad bro?”
5
The next morning Frank limped into the office, squinting at the harsh fluorescent lights. Vic was sitting at his desk, dressed in the same clothes from the night before. Frank limped in, smelling baby shit. “This place stinks.”
“Don’t look at me, you’re the one who ate babyshit,” Vic said. “You ready to get to work? We’ve got a busy day ahead of us.”
“Didn’t you go home yet?”
“Nope. I stayed here and typed up the search warrant. Of course, my eyes started crossing halfway through it and I’m pretty sure I was asleep when I typed the last page. I need you to look it over before I give it to the judge.”
Frank took the papers from him and sat down at his desk. He heard a pair of shoes squeaking by the staircase, the ominous sound of a hippopotamus laboring onto the land in search of more food. “I think Staff Infection is coming.”
“Shit!” Vic stuck his head under his desk and started searching for something. “Where the hell did I put it?” He scanned the room, spying a large laminated poster facing the wall behind Frank. “There! Hang that on the hook behind you. Hurry!”
Frank picked up the poster, glanced at it and said, “What the hell? Dude, what’s this?”
“Just hang it up,” Vic whispered.
The squeaking and breathing and grunting was close enough that Frank barely had time to drop the poster on the hook and get back into his seat before the bulky frame of Staff Sergeant Erinnyes appeared in the doorway. “Good morning, gentlemen,” Erinnyes said. He glanced at the poster and winced, “Why in God’s name do you still have that on your wall?”
“It’s evidence, sir.”
“I don’t care! Why do you need a laminated photograph of a humongous black penis hanging up in the detective’s office?”
“That penis broke the Jeffries case,” Vic said. “It was found on the suspect’s phone, clearly linking him to the crime. When I show the judge that photograph, it’s a sure victory.”
Erinnyes grimaced at the photograph and shifted away from it, trying not to look. “I still don’t see why it needs to be on display.”
“It’s an important evidentiary court display. Do you know how much money we paid to have that laminated? I can’t risk losing it. The wall is the only safe place for it.”
“I don’t want to look at it,” Erinnyes said. “I’ll talk to the two of you about last night later.”
Vic frowned and said, “We’ll stop up and see you after we get finished all our work today.”
They listened to his shoes squeaking away and the grunts of him heaving himself back up the stairs. “That was ingenious,” Frank said.
Vic held out his hand and said, “Here, hand me that. Now that you know what it is, I’m afraid you’ll do bad things to it when I’m not around.”
Frank shrugged and said, “This guy’s too small for me. You can have it.”
“Just keep your hands off my big black penis, Frank.”
“Anything you say, sir.”
Vic knocked on Chief Midas’s door and stuck his head into the office, waving his search warrant. “Boss? We’re getting ready to hit the house on Oak Street.”
The Chief looked up from his newspaper, “Okay. Have fun.”
“I’m going to grab the patrol guys and have them give us a hand.”
“Did you run it by the Staff Sergeant?”
Vic frowned and said, “No, actually, I didn’t. Is that necessary?”
The Chief thought for a second and said, “It’s his division. You should let him know.”
Frank sighed as they left the office. “Some division. Twelve guys and two part-timers.”
Vic knocked on the Staff Sergeant’s door. “You may enter,” Erinnyes said.
“I need patrol’s help on a search warrant.”
Erinnyes interlaced his thick fingers over his belly and leaned back in his chair. “Why?”
“Because it’s a drug warrant. The house is occupied. Where there’s drugs, there’s guns, that sort of thing.”
“Do you have any evidence of a gun being there?” Erinnyes said.
“No. It’s just an accepted standard that with one goes the other.”
Erinnyes waved his hand, “Here you go, trying to exaggerate things again. I prefer a low key approach. I know you like to be the center of attention, but did you ever think about the bad message it sends a community to see a group of heavily armed police officers storming a house? It makes them feel unsafe.”
Frank put the knuckles of his fists on the desk and leaned forward, “Would you rather them see cops getting shot at? I’ve been there and done that once already this year, sir. It cost me the life of my best friend. How about giving us some help?”
“How about, instead of calling my house at four thirty in the morning to ask about a goddamn car, you give me a little proper notice during reasonable hours?” Erinnyes said.
Vic pulled Frank back. “Forget it. We’ll do it ourselves. Thanks for all the help.”
As they left the office, Frank rubbed his forehead and his hand came away drenched. He wiped it on his pants and said, “I need to take my medicine.” He drew a cup of cold water at the fountain, his hands shaking from the time he pulled the prescription bottle out of his pocket until he dropped several of the pills into his hand and swallowed them. He threw the cup of water back and sighed. “God, I hate that prick.”
Vic snatched the bottle out of Frank’s hand. Frank tried to grab it back instantly and Vic pushed him away and held up the bottle to read it.
“Give me that! It’s none of your business, Vic!” Frank cursed when Vic grabbed him by the arm and dragged him into the bathroom. “You better get your damn hands off me. I’m not playing with you.”
Vic shut the door behind them and locked it. He held up the bottle and said, “You’re supposed to only be taking two of these every four hours. It’s half empty, and you just got it filled a few days ago.”
“I will punch you in the face if you don’t give me back that bottle.”
“You’re starting to get dope sick when you don’t get enough of it, aren’t you.”
“No.”
“It starts when the pills aren’t doing their job so you take more. Then you need more than you get from the doctor. Then you start getting them off the street. Before you know it, you’re snorting heroin from the evidence locker.”
Frank laughed. “Like that’s gonna happen. Exaggerate much? Maybe the Staff Infection is right about you.”
Vic grabbed Frank by the shirt and held the bottle up to his face. “What do you think this shit really is? It’s glorified heroin, Frank. It will make you do things you never thought possible, and I won’t go through it again. How bad is the withdrawal? You feel like you’ll puke if you don’t get it yet?”
“No—”
Vic shook him by the collar and shouted, “Tell me the truth! So help me God I will handcuff you to a desk in my office overnight and force you into withdrawal.”
“All right! I started taking more because the two at a time aren’t working like they used to. I need to double it to feel any relief, and I can’t make it the whole four hours before I start taking more. I don’t know what the hell to do. But I don’t feel sick or anything. I’m not a freaking junkie, Vic.”
Vic let him go and put the bottle in his pocket. “I’m going to hold onto these. I’ll give you a few to take home with you to get you through the night. In the meantime, call your doctor and tell him you want a non-narcotic painkiller.”