‘I’m not just going to charge in,’ said Arthur. He was getting increasingly tired of Dame Primus’s objections. ‘In fact, if I can get there the way I’m thinking, it will be a very sneaky approach. Anyway, we’re wasting time. You need to split into two, Dame Primus, and get to work. I have to head over to the Border Sea.’
‘This is all too hasty!’ protested Dame Primus. ‘What can you possibly want in the Border Sea?’
‘The Raised Rats.’
Dame Primus took in an outraged breath and her frown got so deep, her eyebrows almost met in a huddle above her nose.
‘The Raised Rats are agents of the Piper! Like the Piper’s children, they are not to be trusted! They are to be hunted down and exterminated!’
‘Old Primey got her undergarments in a twist again,’ said a voice behind him. He turned and smiled as he saw his friend Suzy Turquoise Blue expertly slide between two Denizens to stand next to him.
‘Suzy! What on earth are you wearing?’
‘M’uniform,’ said Suzy. She raised her battered top hat, which now had two oversize gold epaulettes sewn to the back like a sun-cape, and bowed. The half-dozen probably unearned medals on her red regimental coat (that had the sleeves cut off to show her yellow shirt) jangled as she made a bow, and the leg she thrust forward creaked, since she was also wearing the same kind of leather breeches as Arthur, which he had thought were exclusive to Sir Thursday. Her boots were red and did not resemble those in any uniform that Arthur had learnt about in his recruit training. Neither did the iridescent-green-scaled belt she wore, though the savage-sword at her side was in a regulation sheath.
Arthur blinked, not least because there were several other Piper’s children clad in similar strange combinations standing behind Suzy.
‘Suzy’s Raiders,’ Suzy said, seeing him look. ‘Irregulars. Marshal Dusk signed off on it. Told ’im it was your idea.’
‘My idea,’ Arthur started to say, but he bit off his words as he saw Suzy wiggling her eyebrows at him.
‘On account of the Piper’s children bein’ under a cloud, so to speak,’ added Suzy. ‘Better to ’ave us all in one lot. Easier to watch, that way. If Old Prim – I mean, if Dame Primus wants to knock us off.’
‘It’s not a personal matter, Miss Blue,’ said Dame Primus with a sniff. ‘I am merely doing whatever is necessary to ensure Lord Arthur’s eventual triumph. You yourself have fallen under the spell of the Piper’s music once. Ensuring that it doesn’t happen again is simply common sense.’
‘You don’t have to kill us,’ said Suzy, bristling. She rummaged in her pockets and produced two ugly grey stumps of candle wax. ‘We can just stick this ’ere wax in our ears and we won’t be able to hear the pipe! Besides, it’s General Turquoise Blue now!’
Dame Primus snorted and was about to speak when Arthur held up his hand.
‘I’ve already given orders that no Piper’s children are to be harmed,’ he said. ‘Neither are the Raised Rats, provided they do not act against us. Now, I am going to see the Rats. They owe me a question, and I owe them an answer, so I’m sure they will at least negotiate. Dame Primus, Marshals, everyone, please carry on as we have discussed. Doctor Scamandros, would you mind coming with me?’
‘Certainly, Lord Arthur, certainly,’ puffed Dr Scamandros. ‘Ah, do you intend to use the Fifth Key again?’
‘It’s the quickest way,’ said Arthur. ‘I can go straight to the Rattus Navis IV. I can probably see out of the reflection of the silver jug they had. What, Suzy?’
Suzy was tugging at his sleeve.
‘I’m coming too, right? To see the Rats and then sort out Saturday?’
‘You probably should stay and look after the Piper’s child-’
‘Stay! Just because you’ve got taller than’s sensible and your teeth all shined up doesn’t mean you can do without me! Who’s saved your bacon a mort of times?’
‘I perhaps should advise you, Lord Arthur, that I felt quite a level of resistance when we travelled here,’ said Scamandros. ‘Indeed, I was almost hurled back. It might be more prudent to take the elevator to Port Wednesday and send for the Raised Rats.’
‘There isn’t time,’ said Arthur. ‘But I think I will need you, so if you can bear it-’
‘I will attend you,’ said Scamandros. ‘I will hold on more tightly this time, though you now lack coattails. If I may take your arm?’
‘What about me?’ Suzy demanded.
‘Yes, you can come too,’ Arthur told her. ‘At least to talk to the Rats.’
Arthur offered one arm to Dr Scamandros and the other to Suzy, though this made it difficult to hold up the Fifth Key. He was about to gaze into it when he hesitated and looked across at Dame Primus. She had gone back to the map table and was studying it, giving no sign that she was about to split in two and do as he asked.
Arthur had also remembered something else.
‘Dame Primus!’ he called out. ‘Before you do split into two, I would like The Compleat Atlas of the House back again. I expect it will also be very useful.’
Dame Primus kept looking at the table and did not turn her head to speak.
‘The Atlas has a mind of its own,’ she said. ‘I believe it was last seen in the Middle House, probably getting a new binding put on without visible assistance. I expect it will return here in due course, or it will find you wherever you are. I suggest that you check any bookshelves you happen to be near.’
‘Oh,’ said Arthur, and then it struck him.
She’s lying to me, he thought. Or avoiding the truth. I wonder why she doesn’t want me to have the Atlas? It could be very useful. But she can’t look me in the eye and lie –
Marshal Dawn erupted from her desk and rushed across the room, brandishing a message slip and calling, ‘Dame Primus! There is a small geyser of Nothing reported near Letterer’s Lark!’
Dame Primus took the slip.
‘You see, Arthur! Well, if you will not go, then I must do as you ask. Marshal Dawn, prepare an escort and the private elevator!’
Dawn saluted and rushed away. There was a hush in the room as everyone watched Dame Primus, a hush that immediately dissipated as she looked about her, a deep frown on her face. Frenetic activity resumed everywhere, apart from a quiet space around Dame Primus and another around Arthur, Suzy and Scamandros.
‘Reckon this’ll be worth seeing,’ muttered Suzy. ‘Think she’ll split in half and wriggle like a worm?’
Arthur shook his head. That would be too undignified for Dame Primus.
As they watched, she took a step forward, and as she did so, she blurred and diminished, as if she’d walked into a hole in the ground. Then a smaller version of herself walked ahead, leaving a second smaller version behind, so that there were two seven-foot-tall Dame Primuses standing in a line, instead of one eight-foot-plus version. They looked identical and were dressed exactly the same, but one had the clock-sword of the First Key and the trident of the Third Key, and the other had the gauntlets of the Second Key and the baton of the Fourth.
The two embodiments of the Will turned to each other and curtsied.
‘Dame Quarto,’ said the one who had the sword and the gauntlets.
‘Dame Septum,’ said the one who had the trident and the baton.
‘Hmmph,’ whispered Scamandros. ‘Self-aggrandisement. They’ve added one and three, and two and five. Trying to make the sum of the whole greater, I suppose.’
Quarto and Septum turned and curtsied to Arthur.
‘Lord Arthur,’ they chorused.
‘Hello,’ said Arthur. ‘Thank you for splitting. I guess we’d all better get on with it.’
‘Indeed,’ said Dame Quarto.
‘We had,’ added Dame Septum. She raised her hand and dramatically announced, ‘I shall attend to the Middle House!’
‘And I to the mountains!’ declared Dame Quarto, and both strode from the room.
‘And I to... sorting out Superior Saturday,’ said Arthur. Somehow it didn’t sound the same. He raised the mirror and concentrated on looking through it and out of the reflection in the silver jug in the stern cabin of the Rattus Navis IV. He would soon find himself wherever the ship might be upon the strange waters of the Border Sea.