“Very well,” Davey said with a sigh. “Let’s make it a destroyer game.”
The permanent members approved unanimously, and Yagüe wrote the event down in a notebook. Then he looked up and said, “Continue suggesting—”
“Submarines!” shouted Prime Minister Green.
“That won’t be any fun, a bunch of kids playing cat and mouse in the dark,” said Marshal Zavyalova, but Yagüe wrote it down anyway.
“Don’t stick to the ocean. How about a land game?” Huahua asked.
“Fine. A tank game!” Russian president Ilyukhin said.
“That’s a major category, so we should be more detailed,” General Scott said. “I have a suggestion: head-on combat. Tank formations start from a distance and advance toward each other simultaneously, and commence firing.”
“That’s well-suited to the flat geography here. To make it more fun, restrict it to the tank’s gun. Don’t use guided missiles,” said Marshal Zavyalova. No one objected.
“Then there ought to be threshold distance. The two sides can only start firing when they’re within that distance,” Lü Gang said, seizing on the key issue. The Abrams, T-90, and Leclerc had far more advanced fire-control systems than the Chinese children’s Type 99.
“Thirty-five hundred meters,” Scott said.
“No, a thousand meters,” Lü Gang said.
The children began arguing, but Yagüe interrupted, “Fine, fine. The technical details can be sorted out by each event’s task force. We’re only deciding on the events in general.”
“This is critical. We need to decide it now,” Huahua said, refusing to give an inch. But they were outnumbered and ultimately a distance of three thousand meters, highly unfavorable to the Chinese children, was decided upon.
“We propose another tank event,” Huahua called out, raising a hand. “Ultra-close wall smashing!”
“What’s that?” The other children were mystified.
“The rules are that opposing tanks each start out behind two parallel brick walls, and when the start command is given, they topple the wall and attack each other. The walls erected on-site are only separated by ten to twenty meters.”
“Hah! Now that’s a thrilling game!” Davey said, laughing. Scott whispered to him that since the Bradley weighed fifty-seven tons, heavier than both the Chinese Type 99 and Russian T-90, and could go from 0 to 30 kph in just seven seconds, it wouldn’t be outclassed in wall tumbling, so he didn’t object to the event.
“There’s an even more thrilling tank game. Foot soldiers versus tanks!” Marshal Zavyalova said.
“Awesome!” Lü Gang exclaimed, and everyone else agreed.
“There’s bound to be lots more fun tank games, but let’s set out these for the time being. We can add new ones as we please,” Yagüe said, writing down the events.
“Jet fighters!” Scott shouted.
No one objected, but someone asked whether the event would be divided into two parts—air-to-air missiles, and guns.
Marshal Zavyalova shook her head. “I don’t see the point. Kids aren’t proficient at flying yet, and it’s tough enough to manage dogfights. Add in extra restrictions, and I’m afraid it won’t be any fun.” And so the event was decided upon.
“Infantry with light weapons,” called out Huahua.
“Hmm. That’s a basic event. But it needs to be subdivided. First, define light weapons,” Marshal Zavyalova said.
“Anything under twenty millimeters.”
“Then maybe we should first divide into two games, fortified positions and charges. In the first, the two sides shoot at each other from within their fortifications. The second is like the tank-charge game, where the two sides advance toward each other and open fire when they reach a certain distance. That distance… doesn’t need to be set right now.”
“It’s like a Russian-style pistol duel,” someone murmured.
“Armored helicopter duels!” Davey shouted.
China and India opposed that game, and Japan remained neutral, but with the US, Russia, and the EU in support, the event was approved.
“Grenades!” Huahua shouted. “Oh, right. That should be a subdivision of the infantry and light weapons.”
“Why are you only pitching that backward stuff?” Davey asked the Chinese children.
“Why are you only pitching the advanced stuff?” Huahua asked back.
Again, it was Yagüe who smoothed things over. “It’s all good. Everyone has the same goal, to play fun games. You’ve got to be understanding. If everyone only picks their strong events and rejects their weaker ones, how are we going to have games to play?”
“Grenades are a basic weapon. Why can’t they be included?” Lü Gang asked.
“Fine. Put them in, then. Don’t imagine we’ll be pushovers, though,” Davey said caustically.
“We should also subdivide grenades into fortifications and charges,” Marshal Zavyalova said. “And with basic weaponry in mind, have you considered artillery?”
As they realized the potential, the children shouted out different artillery games.
“Five-kilometer artillery fights!”
“Ten-kilometer large-caliber!”
“Thirty-kilometer rockets!”
“Self-propelled rockets against a moving target! Heh, on the Antarctic plain that’ll be like a sea battle.”
“Mortars! Who can forget mortars?”
“That’s right. Mortars at close range. And they can be mobile, too. That’ll be tons of fun.”
Scott cut them all off, saying, “Let me make a suggestion. Contests at ranges beyond five kilometers can take advantage of aerial reconnaissance and fire correction.”
“Opposed! That makes the game too complicated, and increases the chance of fouls,” Lü Gang said.
“In favor! It makes the game more interesting,” Prime Minister Green said.
“Stop!” Yagüe rapped the helmet loudly. “I said before, technical details are up to the task force to decide.”
When Yagüe finished recording the artillery games, Davey jumped to his feet. “You’re all interested in quite a lot of events. I’ll suggest another one. Bombers and ground-based air defense!”
Yagüe raised an eyebrow, considering the question. “The game would be like tanks versus infantry. The two sides would be unbalanced, so you’d need to swap roles, which increases the number of heats, and complicates administration and judging. We ought to minimize this sort of game.”
Huahua chuckled, and shot Davey a grin. “I’d wager that President Davey didn’t consider the role-swapping issue. He probably only imagined that the US would do the bombing, and someone else would do the defense. Is that right?”
Davey slapped his head. “Uh, yeah, I overlooked that part.”
“Cognitive inertia. So how about it, do American kids want our H-20 and the Russians’ Tu-22M to bomb their defenses?”
“Uh… since the chairman just mentioned the administration and judging difficulties, we can just take a pass on this event.”