Jon stared blankly out the windshield. “Just what I was asked to do.”
She shook her head. “No, whatever that was, it had nothing to do with your sister. I’m worried about you, sweetie. You look so tired, and I think you’ve lost some weight.” She paused. “Does this have anything to do with Patti?”
When Jon didn’t answer her, she sighed. “Did you two break up?”
“Yeah,” he admitted.
“Aw, sweetie, how come?”
He saw Patricia’s face, twisted with a mixture of hurt, anger, and regret as she sat there on that hospital bed, and he wondered if he’d made the right decision in letting her go. Hell, when she’d called for him to come back, he almost had.
“It just wasn’t working out,” he said roughly.
“But you two looked so happy together,” she said, trying to puzzle it out. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with the Colliers, would it? Because I swear, if you broke up with her over that, I will slap you myself.”
“They were right. I had no right to be with her. I don’t deserve someone like Patricia.”
A sudden crack split through the cab right next to Jon’s ear and the subsequent burn across his cheek made him lift his hand to his face. “Holy shit, Mom, did you just slap me?”
She gave him a smug look. “I told you I would. Now you listen here, mister. I’ve had about enough of this. You’re going to end this bullshit martyr thing you have going on, and you’re going to go find that girl and grovel for her to take you back.”
“But—”
“No buts. You heard what your father said. If that girl really loves you like I know she does, then she won’t care whether you’re rich, poor, a hardened criminal or a politician.” She stopped, giving him a thoughtful look. “I guess that last part was a little redundant, but you know what I mean.”
“How do you know what Dad said?”
“Honey, really? I’m a mom. You should know that I hear everything that goes on in this house. Now, are you going to go fix this?”
Jon dropped a quick kiss on her forehead and started the truck. “I’ll think about it,” he promised.
She jumped to the ground and backed away so he could pull out of the driveway. “You’d better! Next time you come to dinner, I want to see my future daughter-in-law at my table, too!”
Jon shook his head as he drove away. He meant what he’d said, he would think about it, but he couldn’t guarantee that he would do anything about it.
22
“You need to decide what’s more important—him or the car.”
Those were the words of wisdom her mother left her with after dropping by for a visit the previous day. Patti had been in a particularly down mood the past couple of days, and knowing that she would soon have to find it in herself to celebrate the impending birth of Piper and Tate’s first child among a roomful of happy people just made her want to throw up. Naturally, she’d told her mother all of this, and that’s the advice she’d given in return. Not exactly helpful, but it did get her thinking.
Her feelings were amplified when she got a check in the mail from Jon’s insurance agency later that evening as payment for the accident.
It felt like years ago that it had happened.
She already knew she wasn’t going to cash the check. It was a moot point anyway. She’d inflicted more damage on the car than he had, and this time she didn’t plan to fix it up.
It pained her, but after what her mother said, she’d decided to sell the car. There was no question one way or the other. Getting rid of it would serve as a symbol of her love and devotion to their relationship. Jon and their baby were more important to her than a stupid hunk of metal. Sure, she had many good memories wrapped up in that car, but there were bad ones, too. She’d been holding on to it all these years as a way to stay close to her father, to keep him in her thoughts, but the truth was, she didn’t need it to remember him or all the good times they’d shared. She could do that all on her own.
By the time the day of the party arrived, she’d agonized over whether or not to go a hundred times over, unsure of whether Jon would be there or not. She didn’t think she could stand to see him after watching him walking away from her like he had, but she didn’t think she could bear knowing he’d gone and she’d missed the opportunity.
She wanted to tell him that she was selling the car. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him. She wanted to tell him that she was pregnant. But she was terrified of how he would receive her.
He’d made it abundantly clear that she was no good for him. That he wasn’t willing to expend the time and energy it required to be with her because she was too much like his dead girlfriend. But, she reminded herself, that wasn’t the real her. The one who clung to inanimate objects and adopted a dead man’s joy over cars and speed and pointless, dangerous thrills had never been an accurate measurement of who she really was.
The problem was, she’d spent so much of her life developing that persona that she wasn’t even sure who her true self was, but she was trying to figure it out.
The only thing she knew for certain was that she loved Jon and she wanted him in her life. She didn’t care about his past, because everyone had one. She only wanted to be happy, to lead a good life, and she knew, after having him missing from hers, that the only way she’d ever be happy was if he were a part of it.
But would he want to be a part of her life? That was the million-dollar question.
That’s why she was now sitting—more like moping—in a room filled with chattering couples, nibbling on a celery stick while trying her damnedest to remain invisible. Jon hadn’t shown up yet, but rumor had it he’d said he would. Her stomach was fluttering and her palms were clammy and she couldn’t seem to keep her eyes off the door.
“Can we tell them yet?” Jules appeared in her line of vision.
Patti pursed her lips. Her friend had nagged her since the moment she found out about her pregnancy to share the news with everyone, but Patti kept refusing. “No. I already told you, Jon should be the first to know.”
“But you already told me and your mom,” she complained. “And don’t forget the doctor and the nurses and the lab techs at the hospital. He’d hardly be the first in line to know about it.”
“Regardless, I’m not telling anyone yet. Besides,” Patti tacked on, “this party is about Piper and Tate. I’m not about to rain on their parade.”
“Who says it would be raining? It’s just more to celebrate.” Jules slung her arm over her shoulder and pulled her into her side, giving her a playful squeeze. “Come on. Just one person?”
Patti wasn’t about to agree to that, but just for curiosity’s sake, she asked, “If I say yes, who would you tell?”
“I don’t know.” Jules cast a thoughtful look around the room. “How about Sheila?”
“Ha!” Patti belted out a laugh. “Nice try, but everyone in this room would know about it in a matter of minutes. Not gonna happen, sister.”
“Then I pick Lynn.”
“No.”
“What about Piper? You know she can keep a secret.”
“No. Not a soul. Now back off before I’m forced to split your lip.” She shook her fist in the air.
“Rawr.” Jules made claw hands at her. She snatched a carrot stick from her plate and chomped the end of it off. “This pregnancy thing has made you snappy, momma.”
“I’ll show you snappy,” Patti rebutted. It felt good to laugh a little, to blow off some steam, and forget, for a moment, that she wasn’t a ball of nervous energy on the verge of explosion.
Jules became uncharacteristically serious. “Have you told your dad yet?”