"But I failed!" She broke down sobbing. She collapsed into his arms. "I failed and they died because of me, and I still couldn't… still couldn't save our baby!"
"I know," Brad said, holding her, just wanting to protect her and love her. "I know, honey. But the important thing is that you saved yourself. You got yourself out of there. That's all that matters now."
They remained that way for a while. Lisa sobbed and Brad held her, stroking her hair. He told her he loved her. He told her he was glad that she was safe and sound and in his arms.
In time, Lisa's sobs trickled down. She wiped her upper lip with the back of her hand. Despite the long day, Brad didn't feel the least bit tired. Their day had started at seven A.M., and it was now well past two A.M. He had taken Lisa to the hospital shortly after three P.M. and she had been discharged at eleven-thirty. The doctor had instructed them that Lisa needed three days of bed rest, and had prescribed a mild sedative to help her sleep. Lisa had taken one but had been unable to sleep. All she had been able to do was cry.
"I feel so bad," Lisa said. She looked up at Brad. Her eyes were red. "Do you understand how I feel? I feel so… so violated."
Brad nodded. "I understand."
Lisa leaned into his embrace again. "I feel worse than a rape victim," she said, her voice muffled slightly through his shirt. "Even though they didn't… didn't do anything to me…"
"I know," Brad said, holding her.
And I'm so scared," Lisa said. "And I feel so guilty. 'chat's… that's one of the reasons why 1 had to tell you. It was just… just eating me up inside."
Brad held her, just listening. As much as he wanted to help her, he knew that what she was feeling would have to be sorted out by her.
"I just don't want you to hate me for what I did " she said, her voice a low whisper. "Please don't hate me."
"1 don't hate you," Brad said. He kissed the top of her head. "I would have done the same thing.'
"You would've?" A sharp intake of breath, as if she were surprised.
"Yes." A sharp pang of guilt and shame stabbed him in the gut; would he have done the same thing? Nbuld he have done something so… so harsh? So cruel?
She sniffled. "So you don't think I'm a monster?"
"No. If anybody's a monster, it's those men.* Brad felt his anger return. And with it came fear.
"I had to get it off my chest," she said. "But I also don't want you to… to say anything. I don't want them to come after us."
*They won't"
"Please don't say anything," Lisa said. She looked up at him again, her face pleading.
"Everything will be okay." Brad kissed her. "You need to get some sleep" He glanced at the dock. It had been more than four hours since she had taken a sedative, so it would be safe for her to have another. In fact, she could take two of them, the doctor had said. "Why don't I get you your pills and some water so you can sleep." "
Lisa leaned back against the pillows. For the first time since they arrived home from the hospital, she looked tired. "I could use maybe one pill. All of a sudden, I feel so tired."
"Talking probably helped," he said. He caressed her hand. "I'll be right back."
He went into the master bathroom and drew a cup of water for her and got her a pill. He returned and handed the pill to her. She drank it down with a swallow of water. He replaced the glass on the bureau. He drew the covers up over her and turned off the bedside lamp. "Try to get some sleep," he said. "I'll be in a little later."
"You don't hate me?"
"I don't hate you."
Lisa let out another small cry. "I'm so sorry."
Brad kissed her and held her close. "It's okay," he whispered.
Lisa cried for a little bit, then quieted down. The last thing she said before she drifted off to sleep was "Please don't say anything. Please don't. "
Brad knelt beside her and held her hand, watching as she descended into a deep sleep. When he was sure she was sleeping soundly, he exited the master bedroom and went into the living room to call William Grecko.
William Grecko answered the phone on the third ring. "'Lo." His voice was groggy.
"Billy, it's Brad."
"Brad" William's voice perked up. "What's up? Christ, it's… it's after two in the morning. Is everything okay?"
"I need to talk," Brad said, resisting the urge to blurt everything out to Bill now "Can you come over?"
"I… yeah, I guess I can. What… what's going on?"
"Please, just come over. I need to talk, Billy, I really need help. You're the only person I can trust."
"Is it Lisa? Is she all right?"
"We lost the baby"
There was silence for a brief moment. "Oh, Brad." Billy's tone was sad. "I'm so sorry." -
"Ibere's more to it than that. I can't talk about it on the phone because I think I'm going to lose my mind if I do. Please come over."
"I'll be there in thirty minutes"
When he hung up, Brad went into the kitchen and found a bottle of Jim Beam and two glasses. He poured the whiskey into both glasses, then brought them to the living room. He turned a lamp on in the living room and sat down to wait for William Grecko to arrive.
And while he waited, he drank.
And thought.
William Grecko arrived thirty minutes later, right on schedule.
Brad ushered him inside. "Want a drink?"
William had thrown on a pair of blue jeans and a white polo shirt. His hair was uncombed. His eyes were red, his features still puffy from being woken out of a sound sleep. "Um, yeah," he said, licking his lips. "1 guess I could. Urn, you know I'm trying to quit, Brad…"
"Have a drink," Brad said, handing Billy the glass he had poured for the lawyer.
Billy took the glass. He looked nervous. "Really, Brad, um… I know I'm a fuckup, but I really am trying to quit. I'm an alcoholic, for God's sakes"
"We both know that six months from now you'll be back to drinking again," Brad said, pouring himself another glass. "One drink isn't going to hurt you. Besides, you're going to need it after hearing what I have to tell you'
William hesitated, then took the glass.
"I have something to tell you," Brad said, walking into the living room. He sat down in his favorite easy chair and motioned for William to sit down. "It's something Lisa told me this evening, when we got home from the hospital. It… it has something to do with some of the… inconsistencies of her story"
"Yes?" William leaned forward, looking both curious and afraid of the look on Brad's face. A week ago, the detectives handling the case had mentioned to Brad that there were some inconsistencies in Lisa's story that had them concerned. Brad had responded angrily, telling the cops that Lisa had been fucking kidnapped goddamnit! She was the fucking victim! Billy had been present during the brief meeting and had calmed Brad down. Later, the lawyer had met with the detectives and told Brad what had them concerned. "They think her story doesn't add up," he'd told Brad. "They say it's highly unlikely that they would have let her live. That they would have killed her."
Brad had responded angrily and the detective on the case, a guy named Paul Orr, had backed off, saying he'd be in contact again the following week. Now that Brad had had time to think about Lisa's story and what she'd told the police originally, he could see the holes in her official statement on the crime. "Lisa told me everything," he began. "It… it's very similar to what she told the original officers, but…"
He told William. And as Brad spun the story out he could see the color drain from Bill's face. The lawyer set the glass down, his mouth agape as Brad told him what her original kidnapper's purpose was. "Oh my God," he said.
'"There's more." Brad quickly told the lawyer about Debbie Martinez, the arrival of Animal, and the cinematographer, Al. He told Billy about the long night Lisa had spent with Debbie, wondering if she was going to be next. When Brad got to the part about Lisa's desperate plea for her life and her bringing up the homeless woman they had run into on the first day of their trip, Billy's hand went up to his mouth. His eyes were wide with terror. "Oh my God, please don't tell me what I think she… she…"