"How can you say that?" She pulled back from him, her features anguished.
'You were acting on instinct,' Brad said quickly, hoping what he said would calm her down and help her see the error in her way of thinking. "You were pregnant yourself, Lisa. You were acting on… I don't know, a maternal instinct. Your number-one concern was protecting your self so you could save our baby. You didn't know what you were saying when you-"
"But our baby died!" Lisa screamed, sobbing again.
"Yes, our baby died." Brad grasped Lisa's shoulders, forcing her to look at him. "But there's nothing we can do about that now. It's not your fault our baby died, and it's not your fault that these men killed Alicia and her baby. They killed them, Lisa, not you. They did it!"
But I led them to Alicia and Mandy! I traded my life for theirs. And that makes me just as much of a monster as… as. "Lisa couldn't continue. She started sobbing again.
It broke Brad's heart to hear the guilt in Lisa's voice. Lisa was his life, his rock. He loved her more than anything in the world and had been so happy when she was found safe. When she had told him what had really happened, he still felt the same way. He'd been shocked, yes; disgusted by what these men had done and the activities they participated in. He still had uneasy feelings about what Lisa had done. He'd been horrified at the consequences-he wouldn't be human if he hadn't been. But he didn't hate her. He loved her and he wanted to protect her, and more than ever now he wanted to find the men responsible for what had happened and kill them.
Lisa leaned into him again, totally broken in mind and spirit, Brad held her, whispering to her, trying to soothe her as best he could but knowing that anything he said was falling on deaf ears. He felt dead inside. Part of him wanted to break down and cry, too, but he couldn't. It was as if his body wouldn't let him, as if it had turned that part of himself off so he could be strong for Lisa and support her, be her rock for her to lean on.
I'm so tired," Lisa said after her sobs trickled down. 'I'm just so tired.. "
"Come on," Brad said. He helped Lisa to her feet and out of the shower. For the first time since yesterday, she looked awful. Her skin was white and pale. She was trembling, and Brad draped a towel over her shoulders. *Let's get you in and lie down. Maybe some food will-"
Lisa had been looking ahead with a fixed stare, her pupils dilated, fixed on nothing. Suddenly, she turned a whiter shade of pale, put a hand to her mouth, and bolted back into the bathroom and fell in front of the toilet. Brad turned away at the sound of her retching. God, he hated it when people threw up. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to drown out the sounds of Lisa throwing up, trying to summon the courage to be there for her. He made his way into the bathroom and knelt down beside her as she gagged and retched into the toilet. She hadn't thrown up much, just bile. A thin line of saliva drooled out of her mouth. She wiped it away with the back of her hand, gasping for breath. "1'm sorry," she said.
"It's okay."
"1 don't think I can eat anything."
"That's okay. You don't have to."
Lisa sat up, trying to catch her breath. She closed her eyes. It looked like she was fighting off another wave of nausea. "1 don't think I'm going to be able to handle the smell of food, either," she said hoarsely. "Do you think you can send the room-service stuff away?"
"Yes," Brad said. "I'll send it away."
l'hanks " Then she turned over and retched into the toilet again and Brad felt his own stomach churn at the sound. He waited by Lisa, patting her shoulder while she dry heaved, and then he helped her into the bedroom, where he eased her into bed and pulled the covers over her.
When room service knocked on the door, Brad hus tied outside quickly and dosed the door. "Listen," he said, slipping the room-service attendant a ten-dollar bill. "My wife suddenly got sick and I'm going to have to send this away. I'm sorry"
"No problem, sir." The bellhop was young, with a blond crew cut.
The door to the room opposite theirs opened and a huge black man with a shaved head peered out. He caught Brad's eye and nodded. Brad caught a brief glimpse of John Panozzo, the guy who had picked him and Lisa up last night, just beyond the door, and he nodded back. Security. The door dosed, and Brad stepped into the room and dosed his own door to the world of the Luxor.
Lisa was still huddled in bed. She had stopped crying, and she lay with her eyes dosed, the covers pulled over her. "Will you be okay fora while?"
*Where are you going?"
"Just out for a while"
"I'm sorry." Her voice broke, and for a minute Brad thought she was going to cry again.
"It's okay," Brad said quickly. "I'm just going to head out for a quick bite and I'll be back. John Panozzo is watching the room from across the hall with a partner, so you'll be safe"
"He is?"
"Yeah" Knowing that John and his men were watching over them made him feel a hundred percent better. As long as they stayed at the hotel, they would be okay. As long as somebody was around to watch Lisa, he could just slip out quickly and grab some breakfast and hightail it back. Plus, he had to call Billy and see if there was any news. "1'm going to get dressed and then I'll be gone. I'm leaving the cell phone John gave us in case you need it." "
"Okay," Lisa mumbled, dosing her eyes again.
Brad drew the shades, darkening the room. Carrying his travel bag, he went to the bathroom and quickly slipped out of the clothes he had slept in last night, washed up, brushed his teeth, applied deodorant, and dressed in a pair of shorts, a fresh polo shirt, and socks and shoes. He made sure he had his wallet and the room key, checked on Lisa one last time before he left, then slipped out of the room.
He knocked on the door to the room across from theirs and it opened. John Panozzo peered out at him. "Any trouble?"
"None, except Lisa's feeling sick," Brad said. "I'm going to go downstairs real quick for a bite to eat. You guys going to be up here?"
"Yeah. Hold on a second." He disappeared for a minute, then emerged. "You want somebody to come with you?"
"Nah, I'll be fine."
"Okay. Ill let hotel security know." John had explained to them last night on the drive over that if they wanted to walk around the casino to let him or his partner, Titan, know so they could alert security. Luxor security had been briefed on the situation yesterday afternoon, and they'd have plain-clothed security guys watching them discreetly, as well as be under the watchful eye of cameras. "Be back as quick as you can."
"I will."
Brad Miller headed down the hall to the elevators, trying to put some order to the thoughts that were running through his head. Under normal circumstances, the slot machines and card tables would have beckoned and he would have been playing roulette by now. But with a sick wife (who was also in danger of losing her sanity), Brad was worried not only about the investigation, he was worried about Lisa. If she kept beating herself up over what had happened, she might fall into a stage of such deep depression that she could become withdrawn, suicidal. He had to think of a way to help her. Therapy would obviously be the best option, but he couldn't very well look in theYellow Pages in LasVegas for a shrink, could he?'They were on the run, in protective custody. They were supposed to be hiding out from the bad guys. He had to talk to Billy pronto. The more Brad knew what was going on in the investigation, the better he would be able to make a decision on what to do.
And what to do? That was a question that deserved much pondering, which he did downstairs in one of the restaurants over a hasty breakfast of scrambled eggs, sausage, and lots of coffee.
Twenty-five