here.”
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The cousins paused briefly outside the door to what
had been Mr. Mummy’s room and now was tenanted
by Jim Randall. Two nurses and a doctor Judith didn’t
recognize were hovering over Jim’s bed.
“He must have been almost blind,” Judith remarked.
“Otherwise, he might not have gotten a cornea transplant.”
The lunch carts had been removed from the hallway;
the Pakistani woman was polishing the floor with an
electric cleaner; the two nurses at the station, one of
whom was a nun, were consulting over charts. No one
stopped Judith and Renie as they proceeded to the elevator.
But they were stopped anyway. An OUT OF ORDER
sign was on the door of the car.
“Damn!” Judith cursed under her breath. “Where’s
the freight elevator?”
Renie didn’t know. “It’s probably down this hall,”
she said, pointing to their right. “It’s the only place I
haven’t been yet.”
Judith was about to suggest that they try it when Sister Jacqueline appeared from the stairwell. “You
wanted to see me?” she inquired.
“Yes,” Judith said, then added, “when will this elevator be fixed?”
“Curly’s working on it now,” Sister Jacqueline
replied. “Our elevators are not only too few, but too
old. I imagine Restoration Heartware will install new
ones. Among other things,” she concluded on a baleful
note.
The three women returned to the cousins’ room,
where Sister Jacqueline tentatively seated herself in
Judith’s visitor’s chair. The nun looked as if she either
expected to be ejected from the chair by force, or else
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303
didn’t want to be there in the first place. A real hot
seat, Judith thought as she got back into bed.
“You’re probably going to think I’m nuts,” Judith
said with a self-deprecating smile, “but would it be
possible for you to find these dates for me?” She
handed the nun a slip of paper on which she’d already
written her request.
Sister Jacqueline looked startled. “That would be a
breach of patient confidentiality,” she said. “Why on
earth do you want this answered in the first place?”
“Sister,” Judith said earnestly, “would you believe
me if I told you it was a matter of life and death?”
It hadn’t been easy, but Judith had finally convinced
Sister Jacqueline that it was imperative to provide the
information. Mike returned shortly after the nun left.
“Did you know the elevator’s broken?” he said upon
entering the room.
“Yes,” Judith retorted, “we know. We tried to get up
to the fourth floor to see Joe. How is he?”
“Good,” Mike replied, taking the chair that Sister
Jacqueline had just vacated. “He seemed better than
when I saw him earlier. Woody Price is with him.
Gosh, it was great to see Woody after all this time.”
“Did Joe see who stabbed him?” Judith asked anxiously.
“That’s what Woody was asking,” Mike replied.
“Joe told him that he thinks he saw the attacker before
it happened. At least he saw some guy who was acting
suspicious. Joe has an instinct for that sort of thing,
being a cop for so many years.”
Judith could barely contain her excitement. “Who
was it?”
Mike gave his mother and his aunt an ironic smile.
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“That’s the weird thing. He didn’t look like most of the
homeless types.”
Judith nodded. “I’m not surprised.”
“Huh?” Mike looked puzzled. “What do you
mean?”
Maybe, Judith thought, it was only fair to enlighten
her son. But before she could say anything, Bill Jones
came through the door, panting mightily.
“Bill!” Renie cried. “You’re alive!”
Bill leaned one thermal-gloved hand against the
door frame and panted some more. “Huhuhuhuhuhu,”
he uttered.
“Did you bring me some snacks?” Renie asked,
smiling widely.
Bill, his tongue hanging out, shook his head.
“Uhuhuh.”
Renie’s face fell. “Oooh . . .”
“Why don’t you smack her, Uncle Bill?” Mike
asked, half serious.
Bill finally caught his breath. “The crowns in heaven
that await me . . . ,” he murmured, coming all the way
into the room and kissing his wife.
Renie appeared contrite. “Are you all right? Are you
cold? Are you tired?”
Bill nodded emphatically at each question, then
slumped into Renie’s visitor’s chair and removed his
snap-brim cap. “I came to find out how Joe was doing,
but the elevator’s broken. I couldn’t make it all the way
to the fourth floor on the stairs. What’s happening?”
“Joe’s much better,” Judith said happily. “Mike’s
seen him, but I haven’t yet. Because of the elevator.”
Bill nodded again. “You two seem to be doing okay.”
“We are,” Renie replied, patting Bill’s arm. “Are you
sure you don’t have frostbite?”
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This time, Bill shook his head. “It’s actually beautiful out there, with the sun shining and all the snow
that’s still left. I didn’t mind the walk at all.”
“Good,” Renie said, then turned serious. “Tell me,
what on earth are you doing with those blasted Chihuahuas? I was beginning to think you’d gone over the
edge.”
“Oh.” Bill chuckled. “This may sound whimsical,
but an occasional nonscientific experiment can prove
interesting, if not entirely valid. This was one I’d had
in mind for a long time. I became curious about animal
versus human behavior several years ago and—”
“Bill,” Renie interrupted, “spare us the background,
okay?”
“What?” Bill frowned at his wife. “Okay, okay. Anyway, you must realize that this wasn’t a controlled situation. But recently I’d read an abstract in one of my
psychology journals by Dr. Friedbert Von Schimmelheimer in Vienna, who had some fascinating ideas on
the subject, though his experiments involved—”
“Bill . . .” Renie broke in.
“What? Oh, all right, never mind. If you understand the
problems with replication, then you’ll appreciate how—”
“Bill!” Renie looked fierce. “Layman’s language,
please.”
Bill glared at his wife. “Okay, I’ll cut to the chase. I
would have preferred to do it with monkey siblings,
but then we found the dogs. Anyway, you know how
Oscar is about experimenting with apes.”
Renie nodded while Judith gazed at the ceiling and
Mike looked puzzled. Oscar was the Joneses’ stuffed
ape and was treated like a member of the family.
“So how did it turn out?” Renie asked, her patience
restored.
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“Fascinating,” Bill replied. “I called them John and
Paul. For the pope. John’s the one wearing Archie’s
tuxedo.” He paused to look at the doll on his wife’s
nightstand. “Hi, Archie. How are you doing? You look
really cheerful.” Judith and Mike exchanged amused
glances. “Anyway,” Bill continued, “Paul has on those
Wisconsin sweats, the ones that Clarence ate most of