“I can have the inn gather the gold and jewels for him,” I offered.
Nuan Cee waved his paw-hands. “Menial labor is good for the soul. I have done it for my family when I was his age, his father has done it, and his mother has done it for her family… It is a fine lesson to learn. When one starts at the bottom, there is no place to go but up. He is responsible for the riches; let him gather them.”
“It will take him a while,” I said. “I may have to lock him in the ballroom until he is done for his own safety.” Having a tiny fox running around the inn carrying millions in jewels and gold in a canvas sack wasn’t a good idea.
“I take no insult.” Nuan Cee waved his hand again. “Keep him under lock as long as you wish.”
The Merchants filed out. The vampires followed, all except Arland and Robart, who both made a beeline for me. Almost instantly both of them realized they were going to the same place. Arland glowered at Robart and sped up. The Marshal of House Vorga glowered back, matched Arland’s pace, and then went faster. Arland accelerated to keep up. The sight of them rapidly marching in full armor was like standing on train tracks and watching a locomotive barrel toward me at full speed.
I wondered if they would sprint if the distance was great enough.
I brushed the floor with the bristles of my broom. I had turned it into a staff at the beginning of the ceremonies, but an hour into the session, I let it flow back into the broom shape. The past couple of days and the lack of sleep had taken their toll, and the broom felt comfortable and familiar. The floor stretched slightly, then more and more, rising at a slight incline and flowing toward the vampires like one of those moving sidewalks that transports people at airports. Except my sidewalk was moving in the opposite direction.
Neither vampire noticed that they were now going uphill and sliding backward with each step. They were still neck and neck and not getting any closer.
I bit my lip to keep from laughing.
At the wall Jack chuckled into his fist.
I put a little more speed into the floor. They had to notice now.
The Marshals redoubled their efforts. They were almost running now. If I didn’t stop this now, they might crash into each other and I would have blood on my hands.
“My lords! I’m not a castle. You don’t have to storm me.”
Both vampires stopped in their tracks. The floor stopped as well. Normal people would have lost their balance, stumbled, and possibly landed on their faces. The two vampires leapt up simultaneously, like two great jungle cats, and landed on their respective sides of what was once a moving sidewalk. The floor thudded, accepting the full weight of their armor.
Jack dissolved into a coughing fit.
Don’t laugh, don’t laugh, don’t laugh…
The two vampires strode toward me and said in one voice, “Lady Dina…”
Oh no.
The Marshals clamped their mouths shut and tried to kill each other with their stares.
I squeezed my left hand into a fist. If I guffawed in their faces, I could kiss any further business from the Holy Anocracy good-bye.
“Lord Robart, how may I help you?”
Robart shot a triumphant look at Arland. “I’ve paid the Arbitrator’s price for the car.”
“Yes, you have. Thank you, the giant water serpent was delicious.”
Robart blinked, momentarily thrown off track, but recovered. “I will have my knight returned to me.”
Knight? What knight? Oh shoot. I had completely forgotten about the vampire who’d almost chopped the police car in half. I’d left him in the basement holding cell for almost four hours. I concentrated. The knight was alive and well. He was sitting on the floor meditating. I gave the floor a little push and felt it slide up, carrying the knight with it.
“You will find your knight in your quarters.”
Robart nodded. His gaze narrowed. “Perhaps if you were less heavy-handed in your treatment of the guests you claim to honor and protect, your inn would have a higher rating.”
He did not. Oh yes, yes he did. “Perhaps if you trained the knights under your command to follow simple orders, your House would’ve reached greater prominence within your empire.”
Robart locked his jaw.
If my smile were any sweeter, you could pour it on pancakes and call it syrup. “Good night, Marshal. Lord Arland, how may I assist you?”
Robart turned and stalked off to the vampire entrance.
Arland nodded at me, his face grave. “I’ve come to check on the progress of the car.”
“Of course. Give me a moment to set things in order.”
“Take all the time you require,” Arland said.
I watched Robart exit and dissolved the door behind him. Caldenia rose in her box, waved at me, and retired, Beast following her. I’d have to pick her brain tomorrow for any insights. Only Arland, Cookie, Jack, and I remained. I turned to Jack. “Did you need anything?”
He shook his head. “Just making sure everyone goes to bed like good boys and girls. See you in the morning.”
Jack went out the front entrance.
I exhaled quietly and walked over to Cookie, who was crawling around on his hands and knees. “Hey there. I have to leave for a couple of minutes, but I’ll be back soon. I’m going to lock the doors so you’ll be safe in here. But if something goes wrong, call me and I’ll be right over.”
Cookie nodded and dropped a sapphire the size of a gummy bear into his bag.
I led Arland back to the stables, sealing the ballroom with Cookie inside it as we left. Beast caught up with me and hopped into my arms, gazing at me in canine adoration. That’s the wonderful thing about dogs. If you’re gone for a day or for an hour, they’re just as ecstatic when you come back.
The engineer knight and Nuan Cee’s niece were quietly chatting. Officer Marais still lay on the tarp on the floor where we’d left him. His chest rose up and down in a measured rhythm. A small smile spread over his lips. He must’ve been dreaming about something fun. For a moment I envied him the sleep. I was so tired.
The cruiser sat in the middle of the stables. It looked intact.
Hardwir opened the hood and showed me the engine. “Behold.”
I beheld. It looked just like a normal, somewhat grimy, engine.
“No modifications?” Arland asked.
“None,” Hardwir said.
Arland peered at him. “Are you sure? I know you. You didn’t improve on it at all? In any way?”
“No improvements.” Hardwir spat to the side. “Just as ugly and poisonous as it came to me.”
I checked the hood, the inside, and the trunk. Everything seemed to be in order. The car looked exactly as it had before it was hit with a blood axe.
I turned to Arland. “Would you mind helping me? I have to leave the inn grounds and position Officer Marais in the car and he’s heavy.”
Arland nodded at me, his face grave. “It would be my honor.”
Something was wrong. He normally wasn’t this somber. “I need you to change clothes.”
He didn’t miss a beat. “Of course.”
I stepped out and returned with a pair of jeans, a T-shirt, and size-fourteen athletic shoes. Arland arched his thick eyebrows. He had worn this outfit during his last visit when he pretended to be human. He took the clothes and went to change behind the cruiser.
I turned to Hardwir and Nuan Cee’s niece. “Please don’t leave the stables.”
“You have my word,” Hardwir said. “We will stay put. I was never a good swimmer. Besides, I will watch over the Marshal’s armor.”
“I will stay as well,” Nuan Cee’s niece said. “I’m weak and helpless, and I don’t want to be punished.”
Weak and helpless, sure. Next thing she would try to sell me a lovely coastal villa in Kansas.
Arland emerged, camouflaged as a very large human. The camouflage wasn’t exactly working. Dressing Arland in Earth clothes was like putting bunny ears on a tiger. The ears were cute, but the tiger was still scary. The T-shirt stretched on his shoulders, too small for his arms. He was built like a bear: broad shoulders, carved arms, a wide chest, and a flat, hard stomach. It was the kind of frame that could effortlessly support the weight of vampire armor and let him swing a heavy weapon for hours without slowing down. If an NFL linebacker ran full speed at Arland, the football player would just bounce off.