She nodded her compliance.
“Most important, Ren. You’ll be honest with me in all things.”
“I have no reason to lie.”
“You may rise. It’s late and you look tired and upset.”
It appalled her that he could so clearly see through her after only a few moments of being with her. They hadn’t been together in years. Back then, absolutely. Cole had always been adept at reading her moods, at knowing the moment something was wrong or if she simply wasn’t feeling like herself.
Much like Lucas could now.
It had all started with Cole.
She rose to her feet but didn’t move toward him. She stood, naked and vulnerable, her emotions and sense of loyalty divided and scattered like pieces to a puzzle.
And then he managed to catch her off guard again.
“Kiss me, Ren.”
There was an odd catch in his voice. A thread of tenderness that underscored the command. It was the slight ache in his tone that cut to the very heart of her.
She moved to him, pressed close to his body and then she rose up on tiptoe to wind her arms around his neck. She could absolutely kiss him without touching him or holding him, but such a kiss would be impersonal. Cold. Without heart.
No matter that it had been so many years. Or that he’d hurt her unbearably by walking out of her life. She couldn’t pretend he hadn’t meant the world to her or that she still didn’t battle her feelings for him.
Seeing him again had unsettled her. It had called to the front so much that she’d thought was buried for good. Lucas had known it. He’d seen it and acknowledged it even when Ren wouldn’t.
He’d known what Cole had meant to her and what he might mean now and so he’d given her to a man she’d once loved—maybe still loved.
She pressed her lips to the firm line of Cole’s mouth and sighed as the familiarity of the gesture brought old memories roaring back.
At first she worried that she’d done something wrong because he stood so still. She couldn’t even feel him breathe. As she started to pull away to get his reaction, his arms came around her, and he hauled her against him.
One hand slid down over the curve of her behind to cup her cheek. The other hand tangled in her hair and cupped the back of her head, holding her in place as he plunged his tongue into her mouth.
“Ren.”
Her name slipped from his lips, swallowed up by her, but she heard it, she felt it, all the way to her soul. It was the most tender of endearments. That one simple word, torn from his throat, told her more than a hundred others that he’d missed her. That he had ached for her, that he still ached for her.
“Hold me.”
This time the request came from her. It wasn’t an order. It was a soft plea, one she had no right to ask. He hadn’t fully outlined his expectations of her, but it spilled out of her. Until she said it, she’d had no idea just how much she wanted it and needed it.
He issued no reprimand. No reminder of his authority or his control over her. Instead he simply swung her into his arms, holding her as if she were precious and fragile.
As he stared down into her eyes, he turned and walked from the living room. He mounted the stairs and she buried her face against his neck, inhaling his scent, allowing his warmth and strength to envelope her.
They entered a sprawling room that had to be the master suite. He flipped a switch with his elbow as he came through the door and the lamp in the corner flashed on, casting a dim glow over the room. Perfect. Not too bright but enough that they weren’t shrouded in darkness.
When he got to the huge bed in the center of the room, he gently set her down on the plush mattress.
“Get comfortable,” he said in a low voice. “As soon as I undress, I’ll come to bed. And hold you as you’ve asked.”
CHAPTER 16
Ren watched Cole disappear into the bathroom and then she slid down onto the bed, burrowing her head into one of the pillows.
She stared sightlessly across the room as she tried to process all that had happened tonight. Now that the initial hurt and confusion had passed, she was angry.
How could Lucas have done this to her? With no warning? Oh sure, he’d told her that she would be having sex with Cole minutes before they’d arrived at Cole’s house, but he’d said nothing about leaving her with Cole.
She felt betrayed and that betrayal hurt more than she could have imagined. It briefly crossed her mind that she owed Lucas nothing, that his defection gave her no reason to obey his dictate that she remain with Cole for two weeks at which time Lucas may or may not return.
But at the same time, she couldn’t make herself believe that Lucas had done this to hurt her. Whether he’d meant to or not, the result had been the same. But she couldn’t help but think that he had only her best interests at heart.
She sighed and closed her eyes. After a year of feeling so …strong. Rebuilt. Secure and comfortable in her skin again. Now she felt adrift and she hated not knowing her path. She was a person who took great comfort in routine and ritual.
Her sense of self and her confidence had taken a beating in her last relationship. She’d left before irreparable damage was done, but it had still taken time for her to shake off the effects.
She didn’t want to go back there. Ever. She was stronger than who that woman had been. But now, Lucas would test the strength she’d worked so hard to build.
The bed dipped and her eyes flew open. She’d been lost in her thoughts and hadn’t even realized Cole had returned. Such inattention would only gain his censure.
But he didn’t call her on it. Her merely slid his arms around her body and pulled her until her back was flush against his chest.
“You can talk to me, Ren.”
She went still for a moment as his words washed over her. It was as if the last years melted away and they were young again. Inseparable. Set to conquer the world, hand in hand. Ren and Cole.
Oh God, she couldn’t handle this without breaking down.
She turned in his arms and clutched at him as she buried her face in his chest. Hot tears spilled down her cheeks and onto his bare skin.
He locked her to him, holding her tightly, one leg thrown possessively over her as if shielding her from the world. It was a clear statement. Nothing can hurt you here. It was such a familiar gesture that it sent a fresh wave of pain through her heart.
“How could he do it?” she whispered.
Cole kissed her forehead as he trailed fingers through her hair.
“How could he just walk away? Especially when he knows how badly it hurt when you did the same?”
Cole tensed. His hand went still against her head and his chin that had rested against her forehead moved as he pulled away.
Then he sighed. “Ren, you can’t expect me to defend the bastard. I’ve made it no secret that I want you.”
She rose up on one elbow and stared into Cole’s eyes. She wiped irritably at her tears, impatient and angry that she’d allowed him to see how devastated she was.
“Tell me this, Cole. Would you have ever given me to another man? Would you have ever brought me to another man’s house and said here, she’s yours, I’ll be back in two weeks?”
“Come here,” he said quietly, pulling her back to him.
He let his hand wander over her hip and down her leg before caressing his way back up to her shoulder.
“I can’t profess to know what Lucas was thinking. I don’t know the man. You know him a hell of a lot better. I can’t muster the same outrage as you because I’ve gotten precisely what I want. You.”