“No.” She shook her head, with another small, sad smile. “They wanted children. They decided to do it, even though Adam would never see his child. And their child would never know his dad.” Shelby’s voice thickened and she coughed. “Kiara says she’ll make sure their child knows all about his or her dad. She loves Adam so much, she wanted to have his baby even though she’s going to end up raising the child alone.”
“Holy hell. That is…” Jake shook his head, his pathetic little problems reduced to insignificance, his insides feeling hot and tight. “That’s an amazing story.”
“I know. We all admire them both so much for how they’ve handled this, although privately we’ve wondered how Kiara is going to do it.”
“I give her a lot of credit,” Jake said. “Wow. I’m not sure if I would want my wife to do that, if I would want to leave her with that burden.”
“See, that’s why we don’t say anything about our doubts or misgivings to Kiara, because she doesn’t see it as a burden. She sees it as a gift, as a part of Adam that will live on after he’s gone. Someone for her to love.”
Jake rubbed at his chest and blinked up at the waitress who stood at their table smiling. Her cheeriness seemed incongruous following the astonishing conversation. He and Shelby quickly ordered.
“What can I do?” he asked as soon as the waitress had left.
“What do you mean?”
“For you. For your friends.”
“Oh.” Her blue eyes softened as she picked up her goblet of water and sipped it. “That’s so sweet of you.”
Jesus. Had anyone ever called him sweet in his life? He didn’t think so. Sweat popped out along his hairline.
“I don’t know if there’s anything right now,” she continued. “I feel so helpless myself. I wish I could do more. I know after Adam’s gone, Kiara will need us, her friends. I’m going to be her birth coach when she has the baby, and I know she’s going to need lots of support then.” She shook her head, but this time her smile held a hint of happiness. “A baby is a joy and a blessing for sure, but also a lot of work, especially for a single mom. So we’re all going to be there for her.”
“Your friends are obviously very special to you.” He envied that. Jake hated to admit that he still felt a hole in his life since Andrew and Gianna had gotten together. At the time, Jake had assured them no hard feelings, they’d all still be friends, yadda yadda. But the reality had been that he couldn’t bear to be around them, and his friendship with Andrew had tapered off into nothingness. They’d been best buddies in college, shared so many interests. Including the same woman. He pushed those depressing thoughts away.
“They are.” Her smile warmed. “I don’t have much family and my parents aren’t really there for me much, so I guess Kiara and Riley and Myra are like family. I’m lucky to have them.”
“They’re lucky to have you.”
Her cheeks pinkened and she looked down at the water glass in her hands. “We’re going to visit Adam at the hospital tonight,” she told him.
“I know I’ve never met the guy, but let me know how he’s doing.”
“Thanks.” Her voice came out soft and floaty, her big blue eyes fastened on his. “I will.”
With his emotions all stirred up hearing the gut-wrenching story about her friends, he couldn’t take his eyes off Shelby through their entire lunch. They talked about other things, again the conversation easy and fun, even when it came back to Adam and Kiara. Shelby was so loyal and caring of her friends and he fucking hated that she was hurting over this.
Jesus. What was happening to him? He barely knew her and he was getting all sappy. Shit.
Although Shelby had lived on her own for years, she felt so alone when she walked into her apartment after visiting the hospital that evening, shaky, emotional and on the verge of tears. She stood looking out her window into the darkness, aching for her friends, and the unfairness of everything that was happening to them, when her cell phone rang.
It was Jake, calling to see how the visit had gone. It almost seemed as if he’d sensed she was going to be upset and lonely afterward. She curled up on her couch and they talked on the phone for nearly an hour. He offered to come over, but she refused. She liked talking to him, though, and felt a lot steadier when they finally said good-night.
It was crazy. She knew herself and she knew the more time she spent with him, the more likely she was to get involved. Already she found herself liking him more and more, feeling all warm and distracted when she thought about him. And the more she got involved, the more likely she was going to get hurt. Again.
She wouldn’t see him again. He’d served his purpose, though that thought made her wince at the cold-bloodedness of it. He was messing up her mind, making it hard for her to concentrate on work, and she had to be sharp to stay on top of things in this project.
The next morning at work, she tried to focus on the meeting she was facilitating, and not thoughts of Jake.
“I’m not giving up four full-time staff positions to work on this project, when Long Term Disability is only giving up two,” Davis said.
Shelby smiled at him across the boardroom table. “But your division is much more impacted by these changes,” she said calmly. “You handle eighty percent of the claims payments. And I know you’d want to have as much input into the end product as possible.”
“Which means we’re too busy providing customer service to be able to spare staff for a project.”
Shelby swallowed her sigh of frustration. She smiled at Davis. “I understand what you’re saying. We do have sufficient budget to backfill the positions, though.”
He snorted. “That means we have to recruit and hire someone new and then train them—that will take months.”
“Maybe we can find another way. Ideally I need four full-time people to work on the project. But I could probably make it work with two full-time dedicated resources and two part-time. At least until your new staff is up and running.”
Davis ignored her and spoke to Bram. “Why don’t you give up four people?”
Bram gave Davis a flinty stare. “Because we don’t have to.”
Okay, she’d had enough of this bullshit. Why had she planned this meeting for a Friday afternoon, anyway? Shelby leaned forward and laid her hand on the desk, not in a smack, but firmly enough to make a noise and attract their attention. She smiled again, this time with an edge. “He’s not giving up four people because I’m the project manager and I’m the one who came up with the resource requirements for the project. I need four people from Short Term and two from Long Term. I can be flexible about whether it’s four full-time or two full-time, two part-time, but I will have four people from your division, Davis. This project is important and Paul has committed the resources we need.” Mentioning Davis’s boss, the Vice President of Benefits, got his attention. His eyes narrowed.
“I suppose two full-time and two part-time would be more manageable,” he muttered.
“That’s a great idea,” she replied smoothly, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. “I’ll be setting up a meeting next week for the project team. Now, next on the agenda is our risk and mitigation strategy.”
Davis and Bram launched into a debate about risks to customer service, and once again Shelby had to intervene. Once she got through these initial stages and had her team assembled, things would be easier. Maybe.
“I don’t think you fully understand our processes,” Davis snapped at her. “How long have you worked here?”
“Almost a year.”
He nodded and Shelby felt herself grow warm. She knew what he was thinking. How could she be managing a project of this magnitude with such little experience?