I swallowed back the apology and the guilt I’d felt for showing up at his home. “What does she think is going on, Doc?” I asked, gripping the book tightly to keep from punching him in his smug face.
“Avery is a nice girl. She’s sweet and young, and she looks at me like I’m somebody special, not just the guy who plays nursemaid at home.”
“You want pity now? Is that it? Man the fuck up. Whether you see it or not, you have a life most have only dreamed of.”
He scoffed, shaking his head. I knew guys like him didn’t expect to struggle, but no matter where we came from, life was cruel. I knew that firsthand. Bad things happened to good people, and sometimes, God liked to shine his magnifying glass down on the biggest ant just to watch it squirm.
“Sometimes it’s hard to see the silver lining,” he said.
“You have a wife, children, a home, and a six-figure salary. What more could you possibly want?” I tried to keep from raising my voice. His jaw tightened, and I widened my shoulders at the silent exchange between us. “Avery is off the table.”
He smirked. “Is that a threat, Josh?”
“No. You won’t be a very good doctor if you have two broken hands.” I slapped the book against his chest. “That’s a threat.” I held his gaze for a moment longer before hurrying down his sidewalk and into my car. I needed to see Avery or I was going to lose my mind.
Just as I stepped out onto the sidewalk, a golden leaf drifted from the maple tree that stood in front of my building, and rested on my sneaker. I pulled my scrub jacket tighter around me, looking for Josh’s car. He’d just dropped me off from work, and then said he’d be right back, but he’d been gone for half an hour, and the sun was beginning to set.
Glowing Jack-O-Lanterns flickered on our stoop, and plastic ghosts hung from the trees lining our street. Night clouds were beginning to build in the west, making the breeze feel colder. Halloween was approaching, one of my favorite seasons, but fall felt wrong this year. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but even with the chill in the air and the spooky decorations, I felt time slipping away from me.
An older car slowed to a stop in front of me and honked. The lime green practically glowed against the thick black stripe down the side. The car looked angry, and strong, and bright enough that no one would accidentally run into me again.
Josh killed the motor and then jumped out, grinning from ear to ear. “She runs!” he said. He patted the black hood with the palm of his hand before jogging to where I stood on the sidewalk. He squeezed me to his side, staring at the beast of a car like a proud parent.
“It’s great,” I said.
He turned to me, his eyebrows pulling together. The adorable double lines between them made me a little giddy. We were at that phase where every little thing he did was magical, and for the most part, he could do no wrong, but now he was looking at me like I’d just eaten his last favorite cookie.
“Great? She’s yours, Avery. I’ve been working my ass off to get her ready for you.”
“Mine?” I said in disbelief.
“I do not appreciate your dubious tone,” he said, still frowning.
I reached up to smooth out the lines I loved. “You showed me an avocado-green beater. This is a shiny, um … what is it?”
“This, my adorably clueless lady, is a 1970 Dodge Challenger in Sublime Green. A nice step up from the baby-shit color of your last car that was left smeared on the highway, I may add. She just needs a name.”
“This is … this is too much.”
He placed his hands on my cheeks and kissed my forehead. “Sweetheart, for the bargain price of three ninety-nine and free labor your rather dashing, brilliant mechanic boyfriend gifted to you, this shiny Dodge fucking Challenger is yours.”
I turned toward the Challenger in disbelief. “Stop. This isn’t funny.”
“I told you that you’d have wheels by your birthday, didn’t I?”
“But … my birthday isn’t until next week,” I said, still lost in utter shock and awe. I’d been a little down about the approach of my mid-twenties, but Josh standing in front of me, giving me the best gift I’d ever been given, trumped the pang of turning twenty-five.
He placed a cold set of keys in my palm. My jaw unhinged, my mouth hung open.
“Oh my God,” I said, still staring. I blinked and then threw my arms around him. “Oh my God! I have a car?” I asked, leaning back to look him in the eyes. He nodded and I hugged him again. “I have a car! I’ll pay you back. Every penny.” I grabbed my penny necklace. “I love it! I love it!”
“You love the car? I’m getting kinda jealous,” he said, his sweet grin wrinkling his five o’clock shadow.
I looked into both of his eyes, one after the other, back and forth, just like the girls in the movies. I wasn’t sure which one I should tell the truth to. I wished I could look into both of them at the same time. “Don’t be jealous. I’ve loved you longer than the car.”
Josh laughed once, waiting for me to admit I was joking. The longer he didn’t respond, the more nervous I got.
He closed one eye, turning his head to hear me from one ear. “You love me?”
I cringed, not sure what the right answer would be. “Yes?”
He pulled in a deep breath and then let it all out at once with a laugh. He tightened his arms around me and he buried his face in the crook of my neck. His voice was muffled when he said, “I’m just going to hold you for a minute. This is, um … this is more new stuff for me.”
“No pressure. You don’t have to say it back,” I said.
His head popped up. “Say it back?”
“I mean …” I shook my head, feeling closer to vomiting every second. “You know what I mean.”
Josh kissed me once, and then again, a tiny, slow kiss that meant something. “I’ve been saying it this whole time, Avery. You just haven’t been listening.”
I looked up at him, unable to stop the ridiculous grin spreading across my face. It was so much easier to fall for someone without pretenses, without worrying about judgment or rejection.
“Want to take her for a spin?” he asked, holding a set of keys in front of my face.
I took them, noticing two keys on the chain. A bigger, silver one, and a smaller one, older and brass in color. “Is this little one the spare?”
Josh scratched the back of his head the way he did when he was nervous. “I, uh … thought you may want to let yourself in to my place whenever you want. I know Dax would love having you around more often, and a key ring with one key looked kind of stupid.”
“You’re giving me a key to your apartment?” I asked.
He shifted nervously. “Well … yeah.”
“Because your dog likes me and so my key ring doesn’t look stupid,” I deadpanned.
“No,” he said, holding his hands over mine. “Because I want you to have it. It feels … I dunno, like the next step. And that’s where I was hoping we were headed.”
“To the next step?”
He let go of me and shook his head. “Now that sounds stupid. This isn’t going the way I’d hoped.”
I held up the key ring, watching the sun reflect off the metal. “This is the best present anyone has ever given me.”
He beamed. “I’m glad you think so. I wasn’t sure I could pull it off at first, but I kept at it.” He stood tall. “There’s not much I can’t fix.”
I pulled Josh’s shirt into my fists. He was wearing his light-blue short-sleeved button-up dress blues with a white long-sleeved thermal underneath. I was aware of how strange it was that something as simple as a thermal shirt could turn me on, but I pulled him toward my building.
A mischievous grin crept across his face. “Baby … we’ve gotta meet Quinn and Deb in half an hour.”
“Yep,” I said, walking backward. I stepped up one stair, and then the next, continuing back until I reached the top of the stoop. I reached back, opening the door, but he held on to the doorjamb.