Kaidan turned now, a storm in his eyes. “She can’t tie herself to a bloke like me and expect to come out of it white as snow. It won’t work.”
I sucked in a breath, stunned.
“She loves you,” Marna whispered. “And you love her. You’re not going to soil her soul, babe.”
He shook his head. “My past has to be taken into account.”
“Your past is in the past,” I said, staying calm. “And it’s not going to . . . rub off on me or something. You know it doesn’t work like that.”
His jaw ticked as he glared at the wall.
I started to move forward just as my father’s weightless form lowered toward Kaidan and encircled him. Kai stilled, as if listening. What was Dad saying? More listening and head shaking. They seemed to converse for hours. Now Kaidan gave an almost imperceptible nod. I wanted to stop their silent conversation. For all I knew, Dad could be threatening him, like he’d once done when he wanted Kai to stay away from me. He’d gone from using all his power to keep us apart, to wanting us to get married?
“I need some time to myself,” Kaidan said. Without a backward glance, he left the room. I let my special hearing trail after him until he stopped on the deck outside.
I looked to the other three Neph. Blake raised his pierced eyebrow.
I turned on my dad and spoke to him telepathically.
You’d better not have threatened him.
I tried to reason with him and reassure him.
But . . . if this was a possibility all along, why didn’t you tell me?
I assumed you’d figured it out for yourself. This is what I hoped would happen with you and the son of Alocer.
Hold on. He’d wanted me to marry my friend Kope? Ugh! I turned my back, irritated. Dad’s massive spirit form moved in front of me.
I knew the son of Pharzuph would have reservations. I tried to back off and give the two of you space, but there’s no time for that now. I’ve told him that if he loves you, he needs to marry you.
“Gee, no pressure, Dad,” I said out loud.
“Sometimes people need to be pressured to do the right thing,” he said only to me, completely unapologetic.
“I need to talk to Kai.” I walked away from my dad and past the others. I took a couple wrong turns, Blake’s house being so huge, and when I got to the back doors, Kaidan was coming in. He must’ve heard me. To my relief, he reached out his hand and took mine, leading me down a flight of carpeted stairs and into a cave of darkness.
“This is my favorite room,” he said quietly.
I adjusted my sights and saw that it was a mini movie theater with four rows of stadium seating. The walls were covered in old movie posters and pictures of pinup starlets from long ago when it was considered unsexy to be skinny.
The room was atmospheric and cozy. We took a seat in the back row, never letting go of each other’s hands.
“Look,” I began. “I don’t know what my dad said to you, but don’t let him pressure you. You don’t have to do this. I’ll find a way to hide from Pharzuph.”
He looked resigned. “You can’t hide from him forever.”
“Yes, but I don’t want that to be our sole reason for getting married.”
He dropped his eyes to our hands, letting strands of dark hair block his face.
I tried to tell myself not to be disheartened, but it was hard. Talking about marriage like a business proposition or a means to an end . . . it was depressing. Yes, it would keep us safe to a degree, but both our hearts had to be in it or it would be a farce, not an arrangement born of love.
I began to stand. “I’m telling him no.”
Kaidan’s eyes shot up, wild, and he held my hands tighter. “You don’t want to get married?”
I sat again. “Of course I want to, but you have to want it, too. And it has to be for the right reasons.”
“I’d do anything for you—to keep you safe.”
His words were sweet, but he wasn’t getting it. Tears of disappointment filled my eyes, and he kept going.
“When I think of what those sons of Thamuz could’ve done—”
“Wrong reason,” I whispered. “We can’t do this.” I tried to pull my hands away, but he wouldn’t let me.
“Anna—”
“Let me go, Kai.” I didn’t want to bawl in front of him.
“No, please. God . . . I’m just not good at this, luv. Any of it.”
I closed my eyes and let my head fall back against the tall seat.
“I know this is something you’ve always wanted,” he said.
I shook my head. “That was a long time ago. When I thought I was normal. I never wanted it to be like this.”
Kaidan was so tense. I wished I knew what he was thinking. I hated this whole stupid situation. The pressure. The rush. The unknown.
“That’s what I tried to tell your father,” Kaidan said. “We’ve no time to plan a fancy ceremony or to have a gown tailored—”
“Whoa, stop.” I held up a hand. “I don’t need any of that fairy-tale stuff. It’s the marriage that matters to me, not the wedding. As long as our hearts are in the right place, we could be in pajamas for all I care.”
A mass of tension seemed to roll away from him. His eyes softened as he looked at me. “But . . . I wanted to give you all that.”
Sparks of love lit up behind my eyes. I tried to gauge the jumble of emotions inside me—but it was hope that rose up and caught wind.
I’d always thought marriage was special—a partnership of challenge and love. What Dad was proposing was a secret wedding. A bond between us that no one would know about except our small group and the Maker Himself.
A tingle of joy circled my soul as the possibility of it all became real.
“Kai, please, tell me what you’re thinking right now. We don’t have much time, and we have to make a decision.” He knew I wanted it, so the ball was in his court.
He froze. “I . . .” Then, as he searched my face with wonder, he slid from his seat and down to one knee. “My sweet, lovely Anna. I love you . . . and I want to marry you. But only if you want to. Do you? I mean, will you? Marry me?”
Be still my heart. His proposal was so adorably awkward that I had to laugh, sliding out of my chair so I could face him on my knees, too. I grabbed his face and kissed him for saying exactly what I needed to hear. We kissed once, twice, three times before he pulled back.
“Does it always take this long for someone to answer? It’s making me bloody nervous.”
I looked into his eyes. “Yes, Kai. I’ll marry you.”
And as we kissed again, a cheer rose up outside of the door, making us laugh.
“So much for privacy,” Kaidan said with a grin.
His genuine happiness sealed the deal for me, and I was warming to the thought of marrying him. Okay, I was pretty much hot for it. This was Kaidan Rowe on his knees for me. This was my desire—our mutual love and devotion.