No sex yet. I wanted to do to him what he’d done to me.
This time when my shaking hands went to the buttons on his shorts, he didn’t stop me. I could feel his racing heart against my shoulder. He let me undress him, and in that moment, as I acquainted myself with all of him for the first time, I learned the power of being a woman—the weakness in his eyes brought on by my touch—and the underlying trust and love I saw there. My nervousness disappeared, replaced by curiosity and a desire to make him happy. It brought me tremendous satisfaction as he reacted and lost himself in the caress of my hands and my lips.
Afterward we showered in the moonlight, lost in our new knowledge of each other. But each kiss and touch was overshadowed by one repetitive thought.
I’m still a virgin.
We wrapped ourselves in towels and went back in, eating sandwiches on the bed while Kaidan made fun of the pop love ballads on Marna’s playlist. Funny how he knew the words to so many of them.
When we finished dinner, I looked at the clock. Kaidan had walked to the window and stood staring out, towel still around his waist. I refused to let him think too much. I didn’t want any insecurities of his to rise up between us.
“Hey,” I said softly. “It’ll be midnight soon. Our wedding day is almost over.”
His face clouded, and my stomach tightened.
I stood on the far side of the bed. “Come here.”
Kaidan walked over slowly, keeping his eyes on me in my towel. When he got to the other side of the bed he put his joined hands on top of his head and eyed me across the king-size expanse. He made me feel crazy in so many ways.
I reached for the edge of my towel, and before I could think too much about it, I pulled it off, letting it drop to the floor. The cloudiness in his gaze turned stormy. I crawled across the bed toward him. I watched the surprise and lust flash across his features as I reached him and raised up on my knees to face him. My heart was beating overtime.
“Are you scared?” I asked him.
The master of lust seemed to have lost his cool because his response was a grunted, “Hm?”
“Been too long?” I cocked my head to the side. “Out of practice?”
He hadn’t been with anyone in eight months. For Kaidan Rowe, that was an eternity.
His eyes got wider than I’d ever seen them, full of indignation, and I felt a rush of mean potency in my blood. Acting as the vixen he often called me, I reached out and pinched his nipple. Hard.
He let out a small holler and grabbed my wrist. With my other hand I tore off his towel. In a movement too quick for me to comprehend, he was on top of me, pinning me to the bed.
“You win,” he ground out, breathing hard.
I wanted to laugh at the thrill of my victory, but his seriousness snuffed that urge. I tried to move my hips up to him, but his body pressed me down. I stroked his cheek, which had grown a five o’clock shadow, and he rested his forehead against mine. I felt his worries creeping in—the deeds of his past haunting him.
“This is right, Kai. We love each other.”
He closed his eyes. “I’d do anything for you.”
“Just love me,” I whispered.
“I need you to know this is different for me. I’ve never felt like this with someone. I don’t just love you, Anna. I adore you.”
I kissed him, and when he pulled away his hair hung around his eyes in sexy strands. I knew from the deep look he gave me that this was about to happen.
“Don’t look away from me, Anna,” he said.
I nodded. Nervous. Excited. “Okay.”
“If you need to stop—”
“Kai. I’m not fragile.”
“Right.”
I watched him swallow, then close his eyes as a shiver ran through his body. When he opened his eyes again, color poured through the air around him—the vivid, hot pink of passionate love.
Kaidan was showing me his colors.
It was my turn to swallow hard as I beheld the special gift he was offering. Under his thick aura of love was a strand of gray worry and even darker self-loathing. I wished I could make those go away, but only he held that power. Still . . .
“It’s beautiful,” I whispered.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered back.
I hitched a leg around him to pull him closer. He shifted above me, his body powerful and graceful. His hips curved toward mine and I moved to meet him, gasping at the contact. I never took my eyes from Kai as we became one.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
DANCING WITH LIGHT
My goal had been to stay awake with Kaidan all night, but I must have dozed off because I woke at three a.m. with that eerie feeling of being watched. Moonlight streamed through the curtains, and I found Kaidan sleeping soundly next to me. I looked around the room, but saw nothing out of the ordinary.
It must have been a full moon because the night seemed brighter than normal. There were no streetlights. And then, suddenly, the light shifted and dimmed. Something was out there. My heart raced as I climbed silently from the bed and went to the window.
In the darkness, trailing through trees away from our cabin, was a spirit of light. An angel! Wonderment swirled through me like a windstorm. I didn’t want it to leave. I wanted to know why it’d been at our window and what it wanted—who it was.
I slipped on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, and slid my feet into flip-flops. Kaidan didn’t wake up. He must have been really tired, and I couldn’t say I was surprised. Hopefully I could sneak out and make it back without disturbing him. I left our cabin in silence and took off running toward the woods.
The spirit was fast, only a dot of light now. I followed it in the direction of the Grand Canyon. I could see the nearest cabin down the road, but no lights were on. Only a crescent moon and a huge sky full of stars lit my way, so I opened my night vision to get me through the pine trees on the dirt trail. I couldn’t see the angel anymore.
This was really stupid of me. I knew better than to go out in the open at night. As I berated myself, the trees tapered off around me and I stopped and stared.
Whoa.
Fifteen feet away from me was a wooden railing, and then darkness. Nothing. It could have been the edge of the earth. I moved closer and felt a dizzying sense of vertigo until my hands grasped the rail. It was monstrous. Eerily majestic. Scary, even. Deeper and wider than I could comprehend. With my supernatural vision I could just barely make out layers of earth in the canyon walls. I wished Kaidan were at my side to see it.
From the corner of my eye I saw a shooting star. My heart thumped and I stared at the white light as it moved with graceful speed through the sky. Definitely not a star. It seemed to be dancing its way toward me, loving the open space provided by the canyon.