Her gaze darted. “We can figure out something else. If we work together. So I need you to stop thinking like this!”
His hand tightened on her neck. “Like this? This is me! You’ve told me you feel more than infatuation for me. Then aren’t you supposed to accept me as is? Why do you have to try to change me? What is so bloody wrong with how I am right now?”
“You’re trying to change me too! You’re making me give up something I feel like I’ll die without.”
Jo and Rune had traveled worlds together and had encountered creatures of all species. They’d seen wonders.
He’d never looked at anyone or anything with this much bafflement. “You’ve gotten what you wanted. I’m yours, and you’re mine. I plan to spend the rest of my life with you. Have children with you. You’re not alone anymore, Josephine. You have me. And you’ll have your brother—if I do what’s necessary.”
He was making promises to her, just like that groom. Except Jo’s actual groom was about to spend his wedding night with a nymph.
And Rune could act like he was nobly doing this for Thad, but he was also doing it for the Møriør, for his mission. He still needed to kill Nïx.
His eyes widened as he lit on an idea. “You can ghost inside me. We’ll both be present, and you’ll see how little I’m affected.”
“I’ve been kidding myself.” This male was never going to be faithful. He wasn’t going to balk tonight. She shoved his hand off her nape. “I told you I wanted monogamy. Not a threesome.”
“Monogamy?” He gave a bitter laugh. “There’s obviously no reasoning with you, because you’re too young to see the bigger picture. You like to keep things simple? Sometimes life isn’t simple.”
“It won’t bother you when your mate takes advantage of our open relationship? You got jealous of Desh, and I wasn’t even screwing him. Yet.”
Black forked out across Rune’s eyes. “I’m not a hypocrite, but there would be no reason for you to bed others. No need. That wouldn’t be like for like. You’d probably think random sex means something. I’m old enough—and experienced enough—to know it means less than nothing.”
“Experienced? You’re letting your past color the way you see this!”
“Of course I am! That’s exactly how I know it’s meaningless! Why can’t you get that through your head?”
Her tears kept spilling. She wasn’t normally a crier, but she was about to lose the second person she’d ever wanted to keep. Should she have fought more for Thad when she’d had the chance? Desperate, she told Rune, “If you sleep with other people, I vow to the Lore I will too.”
“Gods damn it, do you never learn? You’re acting like a child! Fine. Fuck other males. You won’t coerce me with yet another vow!”
“When I return home from my dates, will you ask if my lays satisfied me? You’ll probably be put out when I’m full of another’s blood and can’t take any of yours.”
He drew his head back, as if this was insane talk. “Again, there’s no need for you to drink from another! Why would you even consider that? Your eyes can grow red if you drink indiscriminately.”
“Then I’d better stick with a few trusted sources.”
“And how will that work? You have black blood. I don’t think your bite will be poisonous, but would you risk it? You either drink me—or you drink others. You can’t have it both ways.”
“Your blood will run its course in a day or two. If your job calls you away too many nights, I’ll have to share suppers with someone else.” A lie. Once he slept with Meliai, she would never take from him again.
What if she dreamed of him with the nymph? Jo would lose her ever-loving shit.
He gritted his teeth. “For future reference, mate, this is not how to deal with me. Emotional manipulation and tears? Ultimatums and childlike behavior? You are pushing every wrong button. All you’ve done is compound my anger and reinforce my intentions.” He looked at her like she was pathetic. “I don’t even recognize you.”
She felt pathetic. But she had all these unfamiliar emotions, and no experience with them. No outlet. Her body flickered from solid to air.
“Why are you losing control like this?”
“Control? Control?” She flew at him, solidifying to beat on his chest. “You asshole! You’re breaking my heart, and you can’t even see you’re ending us!”
He snatched her wrists, capturing her hands against him. “Ending?” His voice turned tender, but it was menacing at the same time. “Oh, Josephine, there is no ending. We’re bonded mates now, so you’re stuck with me. Eternally. That’s why I’m confident you’ll get past this.”
She wrenched her hands free. “You’re wrong!”
“Do you really think you can exist without the pleasure I give you? Or the companionship? You were alone for the last fourteen years. How’d that work out for you?”
She beat on him some more. “Do you really think I’ll let you give me a steady stream of new nightmares? I’d rather starve than relive all your late nights ‘at work.’ ”
He bit out, “I want you to dream my memories of this, to experience what it’s like feeling utterly nothing—”
“Rune?” Meliai walked outside, her gauzy skirt whipping in the winds.
Jo turned away so the nymph wouldn’t see her tears. She reminded herself that Rune—Ruin—was about to be in the rearview mirror. But that only made her cry more.
“How much longer?” Meliai asked. Impatient for her stud? “It’s now or never.”
“On my way.” He turned to Jo, pulling her close to kiss her, but she averted her face.
He murmured, “From my vantage, I’ve got to weigh whether you’ll be more angry I swived a nymph—or that I let your brother suffer. You’re about to learn a lesson I grasped very early: one measly fuck can equal something you want badly.”
Maybe that was true. Maybe she wasn’t being rational. But it was difficult to stay rational—when she felt like she was being throat punched. She murmured back, “How is this different from your past? You’ll be having sex in exchange for something. You’re going to be a whore again, only this time there’ll be no excuse for it.”
He ground his teeth so hard that muscle ticked in his wide jaw.
“Obviously I was wrong when I said you weren’t that man anymore,” she continued. “But then, I am naïve.”
At her ear, he grated, “If it makes you feel better, I can honestly say I’ll be thinking of you.”
He straightened, then started toward Meliai. They strolled off together, leaving Jo behind.
Knife in gut. Knife in gut. Knife in gut.
That’s when a realization hit her like a Valkyrie’s fist: I’m completely in love with that prick.
Tears ran freely down her face. Of all the times for her to recognize this . . .
She knew she was in love—because nothing else could hurt this much. Nothing ever had, except for when she’d left Thad behind.
Rune glanced back at her one last time before turning a corner.
She could get another lover, but she couldn’t get another Rune.
SIXTY
Dalli stopped Rune and Meliai in the corridor. “What in the gods’ names are you doing?”
He flicked his hand at Meliai. “Her, apparently.”
Dalli told the other nymph, “Wait in your room. I need to speak to him.”
Meliai asked him, “Any requests for lingerie?”
“Whatever’s quickest.”
“Eager. I like it.” Meliai traipsed away.
When they were alone, Dalli said, “Have I heard correctly—you brought Josephine here?”
He nodded. “She’s truly my mate, Dalli.”
“Then what could possess you to do this?”
“Meliai has information I need to free Josephine’s brother from a dangerous situation. I’ve been tasked with getting him back.” Success would go a long way toward soothing his mate’s feelings. She’d see that Rune’s means were often an efficient solution to a problem. She would better understand him.