As she gazed at the new bracelet on her wrist, she blinked away the memory, and the tear that was threatening to slip from her eye. The past was behind her. She couldn’t linger on what they might have had before. She knew the ending to that story. Besides, past love was no indication of future choices. Her mother had loved her father. All her parents’ friends and family had been shocked when her mother was arrested, because they could recall so many happy days between Dora and Thomas.
When had Dora crossed the line from loving mother to killer wife? Was there a switch that had flipped in her, or had the possibility always been there, latent through the years? Her mother hadn’t been a murderer when she’d walked down the aisle, or when she’d given birth, or when she’d attended Shannon’s early recitals. Shannon could still remember so many moments during her younger years, back when her parents cared for each other, before their marriage turned bitter, before her mother started cheating on her husband with a well-liked local piano teacher.
The past was meaningless. The present was the only thing that mattered.
But, even so, the hardened part of her fragile heart took some comfort in the fact that she was different from her mother. She loved this bracelet because it was from this man, not because of what it might have cost.
This present—her present—was something she could embrace right now. So she moved to the other side of the table, ran her hand through his hair and whispered, “I always loved your gifts, and I still do. Because they’re from you.”
* * *
On Wednesday, Brent invited Shannon to the Thai restaurant at the Luxe. There was something so freeing, in a way, about the pattern they seemed to fall into with lunch. He hadn’t intended it, but these brief moments in the middle of the workday, with a clear beginning and a clear end, were perfect for getting to know her again. That was what Shannon seemed to need to let him into her heart again.
Or to get to know him anew.
Because she turned the questions on him.
“Why did you leave comedy?” she asked as she rested her chin in her hands at the table and looked at him, a curious expression in those green eyes. There was no judgment in her tone—no caustic retort like the first night he’d seen her again. Just a simple question, and one he’d been asked by many others when he’d announced he was leaving his show.
But still.
His fork froze in midair over the chicken pumpkin curry. “Why?” he repeated, stalling for time.
She nodded. “You were so successful, so popular. It’s odd why you’d leave when you were the toast of the town. Inquiring minds want to know,” she said with a bat of her eyes.
His muscles tensed, a visceral response to the one topic he didn’t want to get into with her. There wasn’t some awful secret he was sequestering away. He wasn’t kicked off the network for banging an intern. He wasn’t given the boot for sniffing coke on his desk before his monologue. And he wasn’t found skimming off the top of the ad revenue his show raked in.
Nope.
But he feared the truth would make him look bad.
Unreliable. Disloyal. The kind of guy you can’t lean on. The kind of guy he was fighting to show her that he wasn’t.
He looked away, staring at the golden Thai dragon on the wall, at the red embroidered jacket behind the hostess stand, then at the sea of busy tables and booths full of tourists, high-rollers, and Vegas businessman and women doing deals at the Luxe.
Brent pulled his eyes away from the crowd and back to Shannon. Her long brown hair fell loosely around her face, so different from the short, fresh-faced style she’d had in college. She was different too. Tougher than she’d been back then, but softer as well. More vulnerable, too, at times.
He briefly considered his answer. He could easily spin a quick tale about loving the nightclub business, and while that was true, he’d lost her once before by being less than honest. He wanted to show her that he’d changed—by giving her the full truth, warts and all.
He inhaled deeply, and steeled himself. “Look, I could make up a nice story, Shan. I could tell you something about how I’ve always craved the challenge of running a club, and some of that is true. Because I do love Edge, and building it has been exciting and I’ve enjoyed it. But the truth is, I left comedy because I didn’t want to wear out my welcome.”
She tilted her head to the side. “How so?”
He launched into the backstory of his show. “My show had record ratings. It was the biggest show on cable. It was beating broadcast some nights. It was the kind of gig most entertainers would’ve held onto forever. For years. It was the type of job you’d ordinarily have to pull someone away from kicking and screaming.” An image of the Hollywood trade articles on his departure popped into his head. The entertainment industry and the viewers had been shocked that he left after only three years. “But I wanted to go out on top. I didn’t want anyone to cringe when I did my monologue. I didn’t want anyone to say, his jokes are stale, or, he’s phoning it in.”
She nodded a few times, as if she was processing his decision. “I get it. You wanted to leave on your own terms. But why would it bother me?”
Okay, he was just going to have to spell it out, no matter how bad it made him look. “Because I was worried you’d think it proves I don’t stick around. That when the going gets tough, I pack up and get out of Dodge. That I leave before things can turn difficult,” he said, the words tasting bitter. His own indictment of himself.
She didn’t speak at first. In her silence he wanted to kick himself for having spoken so honestly. Maybe he should have given her his canned line—I was ready for a new challenge.
“Does it mean that?” she asked, but her tone wasn’t cutting. It was earnest. “That you don’t stick around when things get tough?”
He shook his head several times for emphasis. “I don’t think so. I don’t regret leaving the show, but I think—at least I hope—that I’ve learned that what might be a good philosophy in business isn’t necessarily a good way to approach relationships.”
She flashed him a sliver of a smile, and in it he felt exonerated. Not from the choice to step down, but from the prospect that she was only going to see him as a certain type of guy. He felt like he’d shed some of the bad reputation that might prevent her from trusting him again.
“I’m glad you’re being honest with me now, and that you’re changing,” she said. “We all are, aren’t we? Changing? I know I am. I’m trying not to see people for the things they might do. I’m trying to believe in second chances, as my grandma would say, and to focus my energies on that.”
“She’s the smartest woman I know. I agree with everything she says,” he said, slicing a hand through the air as if making a declaration, and Shannon laughed.
“But I noticed one thing about you hasn’t changed...” she said, letting her voice trail off.
“Besides my stunning good looks, strapping build, and huge cock?”
She rolled her eyes and burst out laughing. “I have no idea if your dick is still huge.”
“You could find out.”
“Sure, whip it out right now, Brent,” she said, leaning back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. Daring him. God, he loved this about her. She went toe to toe with him.
He lowered his hands to his crotch, and pretended he was getting ready to unzip his jeans.
“Kidding! I’m kidding,” she said, and he stopped. “Anyway, what I was getting at is this.” She pushed up his shirtsleeve, her fingers tracing the sunburst on his forearm. His skin sizzled under her touch, and matters south of the border grew harder as she stroked the ink on his skin. She trailed her fingertips across the tribal bands. “You have the same ink you had in college. You never got any more?”