Maggie walked in from the back.
“That was interesting,” she said. “He’s very clear about what he wants. I like that in a man. You should go out with him.”
“I can’t. I’m not ready to have a relationship.”
“Who said anything about a relationship?” Maggie’s smile faded. “Oh, right. Sorry. I forgot about what happened.”
Nicole bristled at the pity she saw in her friend’s eyes. She wanted to defend herself, to say she was doing fine. Based on how she couldn’t handle Hawk’s playful invitation, that wasn’t true.
“I’ll get the order together,” Maggie said. “You head home.”
“Okay. I’ll be in to pick it up tomorrow.”
Nicole left.
On the drive home, she tried to talk herself into a better mood. She should be grateful she had friends who cared. And she was. Sort of. But she really, really hated anyone feeling sorry for her. She prided herself on managing. Whatever happened in her life, she managed.
It was her own fault, she reminded herself. She’d wanted to go out with Drew. She’d accepted when he’d proposed. She’d known she wasn’t madly in love with him, but she’d begun to think no one would ever care about her enough to want to marry her. A stupid reason to get involved. There was nothing like a little hindsight to make everything clear. Unfortunately, knowing what she should have done didn’t change the past.
So now what? How did she get over what had happened? She wasn’t missing her bastard of an ex-husband, but she sure wanted her pride and self-respect back. If only she could buy them online.
She was still smiling at the thought when she pulled up in front of her house. A familiar car was parked on the street. The guy leaning against the car straightened as she drove by.
Speak of the devil, she thought grimly.
Drew waved as she circled around to the garage in back. She ignored him and parked, but he was waiting when she walked to the door and she had a bad feeling that ignoring him wasn’t going to make him go away.
CHAPTER FIVE
“GO AWAY,” Nicole said by way of greeting.
“You don’t mean that.”
“Amazingly I do.”
She thought about standing on the porch and refusing to go in the house, but wasn’t excited about providing entertainment for her neighbors.
She went inside, knowing he would follow, walked to the center of the room, then faced him.
“Say what you have to say and get out.”
“That’s not very friendly.”
“What a surprise.”
She was pleased to see that the gouge on his cheek wasn’t healing all that fast. The last time Drew had come calling, it had been the middle of the night. Claire had still been staying there. She’d attacked him with a high-heeled shoe that had done an impressive amount of damage.
Drew didn’t seem bothered by her lack of welcome. He smiled at her. “I’ve missed you, babe, and I know you’ve missed me.”
He still had the ability to leave her speechless, she thought, stunned by his arrogance. “What am I supposed to miss? You sleeping with my sister?”
He threw up his hands. “When are you going to let that go?”
“I’m not sure. Maybe when I feel as if either of you are the least bit remorseful about what you did. You’ve never apologized or admitted you did anything wrong.”
Jesse hadn’t. She kept complaining that Nicole wouldn’t believe her. So far she hadn’t heard anything that would excuse their actions.
“It wasn’t what you think,” Drew grumbled. “You’re taking it all wrong.”
That made Nicole wish she knew how to throw a knife. Or hit really, really hard. “You were in my sister’s bedroom, on her bed, kissing her. Her shirt was off and your hand was on her bare breast. What about that isn’t what I think?”
Drew shifted uncomfortably. “I made a mistake. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry isn’t good enough.”
“This is so typical,” he said, his voice getting angry. “You take everything so seriously. Yeah, I made a mistake. People do that. Even you. I told you Jesse shouldn’t be here after we were married.”
“After you moved into my house and no longer had to pay rent, you mean.”
“Don’t do this, Nicole. Don’t be hard.”
What was she supposed to be? Happy?
“If Jesse hadn’t been here…” he began.
“So you’re saying it’s my fault you were tempted and gave in to that temptation. That you have no responsibility for what you did?”
“You’re twisting my words. You always do that.”
She looked at the man she’d married. He was reasonably good-looking, but he didn’t make her heart beat faster. He’d been a mistake-one she would be recovering from for a while.
“You need to take me back,” he told her.
She shook her head. “There’s no way you just said that.”
“It’s true. I love you. No one is going to love you like me.”
He was trying to hurt her. Or maybe just scare her. “People in love don’t cheat.”
“Sure they do.”
“I don’t.” She shook her head. “You can’t make this right. I can’t trust you, Drew, and I don’t want to try.”
His expression hardened. “You’re going to be alone forever. Is that what you want?”
She knew she shouldn’t listen to him. The fact that he was speaking her deepest fears didn’t make them the truth.
“I don’t believe that,” she said with a conviction she didn’t feel. “You’re a loser, Drew. My mistake was hooking up with you in the first place.”
“My mistake was trying to make it work. No one’s surprised I cheated on you, Nicole. You’re not easy to love. You’re closed off and distant and you can be a real bitch, but I’m trying here.”
She felt as if he’d slapped her. Knowing he was trying to hurt her didn’t make the words any less painful.
“Aren’t you magnanimous,” she murmured. “How did I get so lucky? Tell you what, Drew. You stop trying to win me back with your own peculiar brand of charm and I’ll do my best to get over you.”
“You don’t want to get over me. That’s your problem.”
“Get out,” she said as she walked to the door and held it open. “Don’t bother coming back.”
He hesitated, as if he had more to say, then he left. She shut the door behind him and locked it, then told herself she wouldn’t cry.
When she was alone, she crossed to the sofa and sank onto a cushion. She had no idea what Drew’s visit had been about. Did he just want to punish her? Did he actually think they could make their marriage work and that insulting her was the best way to win her back? No one was that stupid.
So why didn’t he want to let her go? Pride? The fact that she was a great meal ticket? She doubted he still loved her. Maybe he never had.
Doubts crowded in on her. She hated how they made her feel. She needed a distraction.
Just then the phone rang. She jumped up and ran into the kitchen.
“Hello?”
“Hi. How’s it going?”
While hearing from Claire wasn’t as exciting as an inappropriate sexual advance from Hawk, it was still better than thinking about Drew.
“Okay. How are you?”
“Still waiting to look pregnant. Do you want to come over for dinner tonight?”
Nicole hesitated. Did she want to spend the evening with her sister and Wyatt, watching them coo over each other as the waves of their love filled the room with more hormones than should be allowed by any state agency?
“Thanks, but I’m going to pass.”
Claire sighed. “You’re spending too much time alone.”
“No, I’m not. I was just at the bakery.”
“Work doesn’t count. Don’t be crabby. I’m worried because I love you. That’s a good thing.”
Nicole didn’t want to remember Drew telling her she wasn’t easy to love, but the words popped into her brain.