“I didn’t give her a choice. Goddamn it, Damon. What we do is all about choice. We take, we take a hell of a lot from a woman, but it’s because she chooses to give it. I’m demanding. I like submissive women. Completely and utterly submissive. But never, never have I ever lost control like that. Never have I hurt a woman.”
“Have you spoken to Angelina? Told her all this?” Damon asked.
Micah sighed. “It’s complicated. I get the feeling ... I get that she wants more from me. What I mean is that she wants something I can’t give her. And I won’t use her as some sexual toy. She deserves better than that. I don’t understand my reaction to her. I’ve had women since Hannah. I’ve enjoyed women. But with Angelina there is something that I just can’t explain. It’s not fun and laid back with her. It’s not sexy and casual. I can’t be around her and not want to take her over. I have such dark thoughts. And goddamn it, Damon, she’s David’s sister. Of all the women in the world, she is off-limits.”
Why?”
Micah stared at him like he’d lost his mind. “What the hell do you mean, ‘why’? It’s self-explanatory. Hell, she lived with me and David and Hannah for a year. She’s ... family.”
“She’s not family, Micah. She’s your best friend’s sister. Big difference.”
“I can’t believe you’re being so calm about this,” Micah muttered. “For God’s sake, Damon, I raped a woman in your damn club.”
“Is that why you came? You want me to punish you? Want me to kick you out and tell you never to come back? I’d say you’re doing a good enough job of beating up yourself. You don’t need my help.”
Micah let out a sound of frustration.
“Go home and talk to Angelina, Micah. I get that this has knocked you for a loop, but what you did wasn’t rape. She was willing. Very willing, I’d say. Are you going to sit there and tell me you’ve never fucked a woman when she was tied up and helpless under your hands?”
“Uh maybe I should come back,” Serena whispered from behind them.
Both men turned to see her standing there, her expression unsure as if she was afraid of intruding. Micah gentled his expression, not wanting to put her off.
She glanced down self-consciously at her silk robe that fell to mid-calf, and Micah knew that was all she had on. Her feet were bare, but Damon always teased her about her love of being bare-footed.
Damon simply held out a hand to her, and she walked over to kneel beside him. She laid her head on his lap and rubbed her cheek lovingly over his thigh.
“Serena mine, what have I told you? Your poor knees.”
He pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms possessively around her waist, letting his hand rest on the curve of her hip.
“Hello, Serena,” Micah said with a smile.
She smiled back. “Am I interrupting? You both sounded so serious.”
Micah felt his chest cave just a little. He did love this woman. He loved all the women his friends had hooked up with.
“Damon was just kicking my ass. You probably saved what little was left of it.”
Serena arched a disbelieving eyebrow. Damon nuzzled her neck, nipping lightly at the curve of her shoulder.
“Micah is having woman trouble,” Damon said by way of explanation.
“Nice, Damon. Real fucking nice. Sorry, Serena.”
She laughed and waved a hand. “Are you really having woman trouble? I never thought to see the day. Don’t women generally throw themselves at you in all directions?”
“It’s complicated, and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell the girls. They’d just tell Nathan and Gray, who’d use every opportunity to make my life hell.”
Serena smiled gently. “I won’t tell Julie and Faith. They love you to pieces, you know. They’d help you without any questions if you ever needed it. So if you ever want to talk...”
“Thanks, sweetness,” he said with genuine affection. “I love all of you to pieces too. But this is ... this is something I’m going to have to work out on my own. I’d hoped ... I’d hoped that when I moved here I’d leave my past behind. It was a mistake, one I’m paying for now. I made some bad choices and hurt someone in the process. Now I’ve got to figure out how to make it up to her.”
Serena reached out and touched his hand. “If there’s anything I can do to help ...”
He blew her a soundless kiss. “I appreciate it. Both of you.”
She wrinkled her nose. “I didn’t, however, promise not to tell Faith that you’re smoking again.”
Micah closed his eyes and groaned. “What is it with you people? For the love of God, don’t sic Faith on me. At least Julie will light up with me every once in a while when Nathan isn’t looking. But Faith is like a frickin’ pit bull. Nag, nag, nag. I don’t know how Gray puts up with her.”
“Micah, about your ... woman ... Is there anything I can do? I mean, is she new here? I heard enough of your conversation to get the impression she wasn’t from here and that she was someone you knew in the past. The girls and I could introduce ourselves, maybe go out and have some girly fun.”
Both he and Damon groaned.
“Hell, woman, the last time you all went out for girly fun, you ended up nearly passed out on the floor at Cattleman’s, and Nathan had to call me and Gray to come get you.”
Micah sighed. He wanted to be able to trust Serena, but she was close to Faith and Julie, two women he’d been intimate with. It would be awkward as hell for Angelina to be exposed to them and vice versa.
“What is it?” Serena asked. “You look so ... torn.”
Damon squeezed her hand lovingly. “Don’t pressure him, love.”
“No, it’s okay,” Micah said. “It’s just complicated. I swear I keep saying that, but there’s no better way to explain it.”
He looked at Serena and swallowed. “Angelina is, was, my best friend’s younger sister. I was ... married.” The words nearly strangled him, but at least he hadn’t had to say Hannah’s name.
Serena looked at him in shock. “Married? Why does no one know this? I mean why is it such a secret?”
“Damon knows, and again—complicated. David and I ... we both loved the same woman. David was my partner on the force. We shared everything. Including the woman I married.”
Serena’s mouth formed an O of surprise.
“The thing is, I love Faith and Julie, and you know that I’ve been with them both. I’ve had threesomes with them. Casual. Fun. Meaningless. But the last thing I ever want them to know or suspect is that the entire time I was making love to them I was pretending they were another woman. They don’t deserve that and I’d never hurt them that way.”
Serena’s lips turned down into an unhappy frown. “Oh, Micah. I’m so sorry. What happened?”
Micah shifted uncomfortably at the idea of spilling his guts for only the second time since Hannah died. In for a penny and all that crap. He’d already gone this far, and Damon would probably tell her later anyway.
“David and Hannah died in a car accident.”
Tears filled Serena’s eyes. “How awful for you to lose your best friend and the woman you loved at the same time.”
“Everyone thought they were cheating on me,” Micah said bitterly. “That they were skipping town together. We didn’t advertise our relationship. Hannah married me, but David was an equal in the relationship. I didn’t have my head in the job anymore after they died. Everyone pitied me. Stared and talked behind my back. I made a stupid mistake, got injured. It was easier for me to use that as an excuse and just leave. Only I left Angelina, and, God help me, I never gave her another thought. I’m a selfish bastard and my sins don’t end there.”
“But she’s here now,” Damon pointed out. “A good opportunity to atone for those sins, don’t you think?”