Hedra’s body twitched and her head snapped around. Her eyes and mouth grew round as she saw Allie. She said something like “Whaa—” More a rush of breath than an exclamation.
She was wearing Allie’s expensive blue dress from Altman’s, with the silver belt, silver shoes, and even Allie’s dangling silver earrings with the cubic zirconia stones. Transformation. Night-on-the-town time.
Allie stood rooted in surprise, not knowing what to say, and wondering what was happening. Hedra’s slim body hunched over violently, as if she’d been punched in the stomach. She wobbled back a few steps in Allie’s high heels, like a little girl playing dress-up, and groaned, “I thought you were going to lunch …” As if Allie had cheated by returning home.
Allie said, “The lunch was canceled. I thought you were working today.”
“Didn’t need me today.” Hedra’s lower lip quivered. Her face was flushed with embarrassment. If Allie handed her a shovel, she’d try to dig a hole in the floor so she could climb in and hide. “I’m sorry. God, I’m sorry about this …”
A hot rush of anger welled strong in Allie. Then it quickly waned. She’s about to cry, she thought, staring at Hedra. Oh, no! I don’t want to fucking see that! Or hear it! She’s about to collapse into a sobbing jag that might last for an hour.
Then pity forced aside the anger, and she crossed the room and placed her hand on Hedra’s quaking shoulder, on the smooth material of her own dress. She thought selfishly for a moment that she didn’t want tear stains on it. Hedra shrank away as if Allie were preparing to strike her.
Allie managed a cardboard smile. “S’okay, Hedra. Okay. We’re only talking about a dress here, not international espionage. No harm done.”
“My God, I mean, I was trying on your clothes. I don’t know why I did it, what possessed me. Honest.”
“I believe you.” She patted the shoulder, still vibrating beneath her touch. “Now you believe me. It’s all right; it really is.”
The flesh at the corners of Hedra’s lips arced down and danced; tears still glistened and threatened in her injured-animal eyes. “It’s just that I envy you so. I mean, how you seem to make your own way so confident and all. You’re always sure of yourself and I’m always in doubt. It sounds crazy, but I thought, well, maybe if I put on the dress you look so great in …”
“That some of it would rub off?” Allie finished for her. “A kind of personality transfer?”
Even in her humiliation Hedra had to smile. “No, not exactly. But I guess, well, yeah, maybe something like that. I just wanted to try on the dress and see how I’d look, is all.”
“Then it’s simple as that,” Allie said. “No point getting uptight and Freudian about it.”
“I guess not,” Hedra agreed, after seeming to consider for a moment whether to let Freud in on this.
Allie moved away from her and sat down on the edge of the mattress. The bedsprings sang. Sam. “Don’t envy me, Hedra. My life’s not as good as it seems from the outside. I have doubts, problems. Just like you do. Big problems sometimes.”
“Only sometimes, though. And you solve them.”
“Not always.”
Hedra frowned, puzzled. “You mean Sam?”
“Yeah, him.”
“That’ll work out eventually.”
“I don’t want it to work out.”
“You want it to be over? Permanently?”
“It is over. And as permanently as I can make it.”
“You’re really sure?”
“Most of the time.”
“Well, the way you look, Allie, men’ll never cause you to suffer forever. I seem to have big problems all the time. And it shows and just makes things worse for me.”
“It doesn’t show as much as you think. You’re attractive and smart, Hedra; you need to believe in yourself more.” Christ, I sound like Dear Abby, she thought.
Hedra ran a hand over the silky front of the dress. “That’s easy enough to say.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean. But you’re a kind of Pygmalion determined to make yourself over, and that’s all right. Shows there’s lots of hope and plenty to work with. You’ll be okay, Hedra, I can sense it.”
“Sense it? Actually?”
“Actually. And it’s not like me to be wrong, is it?”
Hedra giggled. “I suppose not. Oh!” She suddenly unbuckled the silver belt, then reached around and unzipped the dress. As if she’d abruptly remembered her transgression and wanted to set things right, like a child seeking parental forgiveness.
Allie sat and watched her strip to panties and bra. She really didn’t have a bad figure. Better than it appeared in the drab and poorly cut clothes she favored. “Leave on the earrings, Hedra. Maybe I’ve got another dress you’d like.”
She turned and stared at Allie with disbelief. “You don’t mean, after this…?”
“You didn’t steal or destroy anything,” Allie reminded her.
“I’d never purposely destroy anything of yours,” she said with all the fervor of a Girl Scout uttering a sacred oath.
Allie got up from the bed and walked to the closet. Wire hangers whined on the steel rod as she separated her clothes and found an inexpensive beige dress. It was styled very much like the blue one Hedra was now fitting with precision back on its hanger. Less full, longer hemline, but similar. “Try this one on,” Allie said, and withdrew the beige dress from the closet with the kind of flourish she’d seen salespeople use in exclusive boutiques.
Hedra was impressed. “You mean it?”
“Mean it,” Allie assured her.
Within a few minutes Hedra was wearing the beige dress, pivoting in front of the full-length mirror. Her movements were exaggerated yet controlled, almost like a dance.
She moved away from the mirror, smiling, and slipped into her brown shoes with the medium-height heels that had been lying near the bed. Took another look in the mirror, then spun neatly in a tight two-step so the skirt billowed. “What do you think, Allie?”
“I think it looks terrific on you.” The dress was flattering. “Better than on me.”
“No, that could never be.”
“You’re good for my ego, Hedra, even if you’re not very realistic.”
“I hope I’m good for something,” she said timidly.
My God! Allie thought. She said, “You need a drink. In fact, I need a drink.” Do I ever!
“Now?”
“Especially now.”
“Okay, Allie. Let me get this off.” She contorted her arms, elbows out, to grope behind her back for the zipper.
“No, leave the dress on. It’s yours.”
“But I can’t afford to pay for it.”
“I don’t want you to pay. It’s a gift.”
“You’re kidding!”
“I’m not kidding, damn it!” Too sharp again.
Hedra didn’t seem to know why Allie was suddenly irritated. She lowered her arms and said, “Thank you, Allie,” and almost curtsied.
Allie said, “I’m not royalty, Hedra.”
“What do you mean?”
“Never mind. Let’s go. The glass coach is waiting.”
No coach. Not even a cab. They walked through the gloomy gray afternoon to a restaurant and bar over on Broadway near West 76th. Before they entered, Allie noticed that the lighted time-and-temperature sign on the Apple Bank said it was one o’clock, but she wasn’t at all in need of lunch. The bedroom encounter with Hedra seemed to have killed her appetite. Intense emotion did that to her, be it anger or pity.
There was piped-in music in the bar, heavy-metal rock, but it wasn’t loud. The restaurant was through a low arch; Allie could see several people seated at red-clothed tables, eating lunch.
She and Hedra sat in the bar, at one of the small wooden tables against the wall. Allie looped her purse strap over the back of her chair, close to the wall where no one could snatch it, and looked around.