* * *
We eventually quit fooling around, although not before Christy fingered herself to an orgasm while I teased and twisted her nipples.
“Oh my gosh,” she panted. “We have to stop.”
I chuckled.
“I’m serious. We’ll never get there at this rate.”
“I’m not in a hurry.”
“I told you, my libido goes into overdrive.”
“Give me twenty minutes,” I suggested, “and I’ll fuck you.”
“No! It’s bad enough that we’re on the side of the road—”
We were actually parked behind an old furniture store that was being used as a church, of all things.
“—but I’d never get cleaned up if we had sex-sex.”
“Why not?” I teased.
“Ugh. It’s easy for you. You just shoot and go. I—”
“Relax,” I said. “I’m kidding.”
“Oh, okay. Still… all you have to do is put your penis away and you’re ready to go. I have to fix my hair, my makeup, my clothes… everything! See?” She pulled her bra into place and adjusted it. She did the same to her shirt before she smoothed her skirt over her thighs. Then she sat up and commandeered the rearview mirror. “Oh my gosh! I’m a mess.”
“But a beautiful one.”
She muttered to herself, “No lipstick. Wild hair. Where’s my other earring?”
“No clue. Wait a sec. Here it is.” I plucked it from the seat between my legs.
She stuck the gold hook through her earlobe and checked the other one for good measure. Then she reached for her purse and pulled out a hairbrush.
I watched in amused silence as she fixed her hair, reapplied her lipstick, and touched up the rest of her face. Then she opened a small bottle of perfume and dabbed her wrists and neck. Finally, she found her panties in the footwell and pulled them on.
“Much better,” she pronounced. She even tried to readjust the mirror for me.
I started the engine. “Ready for our misadventures in swinging?”
“What happened to Mr. Positive?”
“He’s here. He’s just taking a break while Mr. Realist runs things.”
“Go away, Mr. Realist. You too, Mr. Skeptical. And take Mr. Spoilsport with you. Mr. Positive and I are going to have fun. And if it doesn’t work out, then you can all say ‘I told you so.’ But until then, keep quiet, please.” She scowled. “What’s so funny?”
“I just had a chorus of ‘yes, ma’ams’ in my head.”
* * *
We followed Lily’s directions and eventually reached the end of the paved road. Three driveways cut through a small clearing and disappeared into the trees. Two of them were gravel and well-tended, while the third looked like an old logging trail.
We tried the first and realized our mistake as soon as we saw the cabin. It was large, well-kept, and had four cars parked beside it. I turned around and drove back to the clearing, where we tried the second driveway. It was a bust too. The cabin was about right, but the car wasn’t, unless Will sold Mary Kay cosmetics and drove a pink Cadillac.
The third driveway was overgrown, and I had to edge past a fallen tree that had only been cut back a few days earlier. The cabin itself looked okay, but the clearing had seen better days. Brush and rusted-out appliances filled half of it, along with an old satellite dish and a broken trampoline. The car was right, though, a light blue Chevette with a UT parking tag.
I parked next to it and peered at the cabin. It had clearly been off the rental market for a while, and I wasn’t impressed, even for the bargain price.
“I hope your tetanus shots are up to date,” I said.
“I’m sure it’s fine,” Christy said.
“Let’s hope so. It’s too late to sneak away and say we got lost.”
Her eyes followed mine, and she automatically smiled at Lily and Will, who waved to us from the front porch.
“Hey, you made it,” Will said as he approached the Cruiser. “Can we help with anything?”
“No, thanks. I got it. Just a single bag.”
“Sorry about the cabin,” he said as we climbed the stairs. “It’s a lot nicer on the inside.”
“I’m sure it’s fine,” I lied.
“Y’all’re in the bigger bedroom,” he said as we followed them inside.
The “bigger bedroom” was the only actual bedroom. The other was just a sleeping alcove with a curtain for privacy.
“You didn’t have to do that,” I lied again.
“Nah,” he said. “It’s all yours. It even has a TV. The sound doesn’t work, but you can watch all you want.”
“The TV in the living room works,” Lily added. “It even has a VCR.” She glanced at Christy.
I didn’t need to be quick on the uptake to connect the dots to the little zippered bag she’d brought. It was about the right size for a VHS tape.
“The hot tub’s busted,” Will said. He shrugged and added philosophically, “We can use it anyway. Enough beer and you won’t even notice the dirt and bugs.”
I laughed. “I think we’ll pass.”
* * *
The bedroom was a far cry from the inn in West Virginia. The furniture was old and scarred, and the bed squeaked when Christy sat on it. But it had a door, which Will had thoughtfully closed to give us some privacy.
“What do you think?” I asked Christy in a low voice.
“I could use a little reassurance about now. You’ll never let me plan things if this is what it’s like.”
“We aren’t here for the accommodations. We’re here to have fun.”
“It seems so easy when you say it.”
“It is easy,” I said, “when you have a positive attitude.”
“I love you so much right now.”
“I love you too. Are we ready to get this party started?”
“I think so.”
* * *
Will and Lily had enough food and drinks for a half-dozen people, and enough alcohol for twice that many. Lily had misremembered that Christy didn’t eat meat, but the result was more or less the same—they’d bought plenty of bunny-type food as well.
“I tried to think of all the things in those little baggies you gave me,” Lily said proudly.
“You did a great job,” I told her.
“Thank you so much,” Christy added.
Lily beamed. “I know it’s kinda early, but we waited for you to start drinking.”
“It’s five o’clock somewhere,” I said. “Want me to do the honors?”
Will answered for her. “Be my guest. I’m drinkin’ beer, but y’all go ahead and start on the hard stuff.”
I mixed three rum and Cokes, although I made mine weaker than the girls’. I wanted to be clear-headed in case things went wrong. Besides, I knew better than to try to keep up with Christy.
The television in the living room actually had a working satellite box, and Will turned it to MTV. The time passed quickly as we drank and talked and occasionally watched a video.
Will turned out to be an okay guy. He was still a preacher’s kid and a dyed-in-the-wool chauvinist, but he had an outgoing personality and a decent sense of humor. He also told entertaining stories about things he’d done in high school. Most of them sounded farfetched, but mine would’ve too.
Later, he and I grilled hamburgers for dinner, while the girls cooked French fries and cut up raw veggies for Christy. We sat on the front porch after we ate, but the bugs finally drove us inside. I mixed fresh drinks for three of us, and Will opened another beer for himself. He’d already made a serious dent in the case, but at least he was a fun drunk.
We relaxed in the living room and enjoyed the evening as the heat of the day faded and MTV played in the background. Will told a couple of stories, including one about a church camp that sounded like a teen soap opera, complete with sneaking around, pranks, and even some bed-hopping. Most of it sounded exaggerated, especially since Will was the star of every episode. I waited for a decent break and then interrupted.
“It’s too bad the hot tub isn’t working.”