So I was careful.
And I am, after all, the legendary Sandtiger, seventh-level sword-dancer out of Alimat . . . besides, if I was to shape a new legend, he needed to understand he had to be better than good.
Sweat ran down his face, bathed his chest. He was quick, graceful, focused. He was also angry with himself. So I told him we were done.
He lowered his sword. "Already?"
"Already."– '
"We've barely begun!"
"And we're finished. For now. We'll go again tomorrow." I jerked a thumb over my shoulder. "Go wash off in the stream. Cool down."
He wanted to say more. But he shut his mouth on it, put his sword back in his harness, and stalked past me.
"And kid …" I waited until he turned around. "It will be a long ten years—or seven, or six—if you get this frustrated every time."
His mouth was a grim line. "I wanted to be good." I grinned. "Good doesn't happen overnight—or even after four lessons with Abbu Bensir." I bent, grabbed up my own harness, sheathed the jivatma. "Tomorrow. In the meantime, I'm going to track down Del."
"She told me she was going up to the other canyon." I shook my head in resignation. "Seems like Del tells you more than she tells me."
An odd look passed across Neesha's face. Then abruptly he turned on his heel and headed for the stream.
by the time I hiked up around the elbow and through the passageway, the morning chill had faded. The sun now stood above the rim of the canyon walls, slanting blankets of light down the tree-clad mountain slopes. I heard birds calling and the chittering of something in the bushes, probably warning of my coming. The rush and gurgle of water underscored everything.
Del was where I expected her to be, up near the natural pool. At first I almost missed her as she lay on her back in thick meadowgrass. High overhead the eagle circled again against brilliant skies, accompanied by his mate.
I paused long enough to strip my sandals off, tie them together and sling them over a shoulder, then took pleasure in feeling the grass and cool soil under my feet. Remarkably different from Punja sand. My callused feet liked it very much.
I strode along the stream bank. "Catch any fish?"
I saw Del's hands go to her cheeks, wiping them hastily. Then she sat up. Her hair, worn loose, tumbled down her back. She smiled as she saw sandals dangling from my shoulder. Hers were lying near the water, along with her harness and sword.
Good idea. I dropped my sandals, got out of the harness, set it and jivatma in the grass. "All right," I said, "I may be male, but I'm not completely heartless. Tell me why you were crying."
Her eyes widened slightly, and then she laughed self-consciously. "Because it's so beautiful here."
This explanation seemed incongruous. "That's why you're crying?"
"Tiger—" She stood up abruptly, grabbed my hand, tugged me along the bank. Her free hand gestured broadly. "Look at it, Tiger! The trees are leafing out, the bushes are setting fruit, there are flowers in the grass, sweet water in plenty—"
"And fish that apparently like to be tickled."
In full spate, she disregarded the comment. "—and eagles in the sky, game on the slopes, a far more benevolent sun than anywhere else in the South—no searing heat, no Punja, no sword-dancers hunting you . . ." She released my hand and dropped to her knees, plunging fingers into the ground and bringing up clods. "Look at this soil! So much would grow here . . ." She tossed the clumps aside and rose, grabbing my hand again. "Come here." She led me away from the water. "Do you see? There against the canyon walls? We could build a good house. Smaller houses—just rooms, really—could go across the stream against that canyon wall. And here, here there is room for multiple circles." Her gesture was all encompassing. "As many circles as you need in a school. And Julah isn't far for when we need supplies. Or if you and the students wanted to go in to the cantina for wine-girls and aqivi."
Ah. Now I knew where she was heading. And it apparently wasn't Alimat, if she had anything to do with it. "This is why you're crying?"
Color stained her face. "Because it's beautiful, yes. Because it offers us everything we could want. Because it gives us a future different from anything we've known, something we can build together, starting over again."
Carefully I noted, "That's what I'd planned to do at Alimat."
"In the sun. In the heat. In the sand. Where, if there's water, it's always warm. Where I have to paint my horse's eyes and hang tassels off his browband so he doesn't go blind."
"Hey, that was your idea! I told you to get another horse, remember?"
"He's got the softest walk I've ever ridden. Probably softer than any you've ridden, you with that stubborn, nasty-tempered, jug-headed demon—"
"Now, let's not get personal about my horse!"
"—who'd just as soon throw you as carry you a yard—"
"All right!" My hand was in the air, silencing her. "We've established that your gelding has a better walk than my horse. Go on."
Del glared. "Because for the first time in more years than I can remember, I can let down all my walls. I thought I had forgotten how. My song is sung, Tiger. I found my brother and lost him again. I avenged my family by killing Ajani. I've proven to you I can dance with all the skill and honor of male sword-dancers—"
"With more skill and honor."
"—and defeat them as well." She was as fierce in her focus as I had ever heard her. "I have accomplished all that I set out to do, that day along the border when Ajani and his men killed my family, abducted my brother, and raped me. And I have given up a daughter, killed my an-kaidin, blooded—and broken—my jivatma, and have been exiled forever from my homeland." Her tone was sere as desert sand. "You asked me once what kind of man I dreamed of finding, and I told you I had stopped thinking of that the day Ajani came. I gave up all my dreams, all my hopes, all my humanity to become the weapon needed to kill Ajani. I even made a pact with the gods to keep me from conceiving again, so another child would not delay my plans as Kalle did." Her face was stark with pain. "So I would not have to give yet another child up."
"Del—"
"Two things, two things only, existed in my life: finding my brother and finding Ajani. I did both. My song is ended."
"Del—"
"And I was crying because this place is so beautiful it hurts my heart and because I know you won't want to stay here because there's Alimat, always Alimat—" She broke it off, drew a tight, rasping breath, began again. "And I even understand that because it's your song, your goal, your need, the way making myself into a weapon was mine. I understand it, and I hate it. I hate the sun and the sand and the heat, and the men who refuse to see a woman's true worth is in being something other than a vessel to bear babies and keep houses—" Now the tone was angry. "—and I hate it that you made yourself an outcast for my sake, breaking all your oaths and sentencing yourself to death by declaring elaii-ali-ma in front of all the others and Abbu Bensir—"
I raised a hand. "Del—"
Her voice tightened. "—and I hate it that you don't want children, because I'm going to have one and you'll want to leave."
Standing there suspended in disbelief, I discovered that once again I lacked the ability to find words, any words at all that began to address the situation in a calm, rational, sensible manner. Or, for that matter, that even approached coherency.