She shuffles closer, staring at my face. "Hey, man. You're an Immerser, right? Just got out of Deep Sleep, right?"
I try not to gag as I give her a sidelong glance. "Uh… yeah."
"You got a holovisor, man? I just wanna borrow it. I ain't been inside for a while. Bastards upped my rent. I wanna, you know — just check in. My Alfie ain't seen me in weeks. He's worried sick; I know he is."
I edge further away, careful not to look at my bag. "I don't have a holovisor."
Her blistered lips curve in a sly smile. "Yes, you do. You do. Come on, man. I just wanna borrow it. You know how it is. I just… gotta check in."
"Look, I'd love to help, but I don't have a holovisor. I can't even check in myself."
Her face alters, wrinkling into a feral mask. "You're lying."
I scan the sky desperately. "No, I'm not. Look, the shuttle is gonna arrive any second, so why don't you—"
She throws her head back and screams, veins distending in her neck. It's a terrible sound, garbled and nearly inhuman. I can only stare in paralyzed shock as the sound echoes around us. When her cry finally ends, she doubles over, chest heaving. Her lank hair hangs over her face, and a string of saliva dangles from her lip. Her shoulders tremble, and a helpless sob escapes her.
"Lies. All I hear are lies. You're just like the others. You don't see me. You don't know. I just need to get back in, man. Don't you understand?"
She lifts her head, and for a split second, I see something in her eyes that hits me like a runaway train. It's the same thing I see in the mirror when I first come out of Immersion.
A reflection.
Fortunately, the shuttle arrives, raising a cloud of dust when it drops from the sky. I quickly board the autopiloted vehicle and slouch in a seat as far away from anyone as possible. I glance behind, but the woman doesn't follow. She's just a shape in the shadows, a ghost without a place to rest. The doors hiss shut, cutting off the sight. The shuttle lifts off, leaving the station behind.
There are only a few people inside, and they all look like they'd kill someone for their next meal. I keep a hand inside my jacket as if I have a weapon stashed there. Hopefully, I can make Downtown with all of my vital organs intact. The shuttle flight route is low, barely above the height of the buildings we pass over. A quiet storm breaks outside, raindrops sliding down the dirty glass and turning the view into blurs of light and darkness.
I can't shake the encounter. Is that my future? An outcast from Elysia, derelict and alone, teetering on the verge of insanity?
No way. Not me.
I'm not like her. Not a half-crazed fiend dependent on handouts from people who avoid and despise me. I'm capable of creating income for myself, ensuring that I never go for too long without Immersion. Never too long without being with Hel. She's always with me. Her voice whispers in my ear, her lips soft as rose petals on my skin. I've never been more than a few days without her presence. I might be able to live without being in Elysia, but there's no way I could go on without Hel. Ever since that fateful day I met her, she's been the only constant in my life. My best friend, my constant companion, my passionate lover.
My everything.
I was fifteen when Mom interrupted one of my sessions in Elysia with Hel. I remember trying to hide my anger at the disruption, seething with impatience as I tried to focus on her dialogue when all I wanted was to return to my other life.
She gave me a worried look. "I'm concerned about you, Dean. You're on that device nearly all day and night. You barely talk to me anymore. Your grades are suffering. I think you need to take a break for a while."
My heart pumped pure panic at the thought. I immediately went into damage-control mode, working that good boy magic to ease her mind.
"I'm sorry, Mom. It's just there's so much to do, and I met so many friends. They all want to hang out and play the newest campaigns. I promise I'll cut back and take more breaks. And I'll bring my grades back up. I can hook up with a tutor right there in Elysia who can help me get on track."
Mom placed her hands on her hips. "I want honor roll by the end of the semester, Dean. Otherwise, I'll have to place restrictions on your Immersion time."
"Ok, Mom. I promise."
I smiled and waited expectantly, but she didn't leave. Instead, she adjusted her stance, looking atypically uncomfortable.
"Dean?"
"Yes, Mom?"
"You haven't been into anything… adult, have you?"
I fixed my face into a stare of pure innocence. "Adult? What do you mean?"
She paused, mouth working as if trying to find the right words. "I mean… sexual. I talked with Linda the other day. She says she caught Timothy involved in something disturbing. Especially at his age. He's a year younger than you, for heaven's sake. I know I have the age parameters set, but sometimes things still slip past the restrictions. I don’t want you experiencing anything you shouldn't."
"I haven't been into anything like that," I said quickly, looking embarrassed.
"Are you sure? How much do you know about sex, anyway? We've never talked about it. Your father—" She frowned in frustration. "I didn't think I'd be the one to have this conversation."
"It's okay, Mom. Sex education is part of my school curriculum. I know about reproduction and all that. You know — educational stuff."
"Educational stuff." She sounded relieved. "Of course. Well, if you encounter anything beyond educational, I don't want you to be afraid or ashamed to talk about it, okay? You know you can always come to me, right?"
"I will, Mom."
"That's a good boy." She kissed me on the brow and hurried out, clearly glad for the conversation to be over.
What Mom didn't know was that it took watching just one tutorial from U-Vid to learn how to bypass her security measures and get into all the mature content I wanted. It was the only way to advance my relationship with Hel to the next level. With the restrictions lifted, I had been exploring sexuality with her for the better part of a year.
There was no way to explain to Mom about the experience. How Hel had been shy at first, then bold and tempting, teaching me how to kiss her correctly, how to touch her body in pleasure-arousing ways. How she guided me inside of her the first time, then cried in my arms afterward, whispering her gratefulness for having shared the experience with me.
There was no coming back after that.
We made love day after day, night after night. We made love on top of snow-capped mountains, showered by hot spring waters. We made love on the pink shores of azure beaches, on the soft sands of distant planets, illuminated by glittering light of multiple moons. We made love alone on silk sheets of luxury hotels, and in public bathhouses overflowing with other couples. I learned more about sex than any boy at that age should have known. Hel was never selfish, allowing me shared and solo encounters with multiple lovers, but I always came back to her. No one else understood me the way she did; no one else could thrill me the way she did. No one else compared.
There was only her.
My holoband buzzes on my wrist, jarring my thoughts. Without looking down, I already know it's Hel. I pull my Sensync headgear from my bag and put it on, sliding the visor over my face as the sensors latch onto my temples. Then I find the wireless drive and plug it into the jack behind my ear. Nothing about my surroundings change except that Hel now sits beside me, a concerned look on her face. She is in trendy street clothes: jeans with a button-up shirt and tie topped by a black blazer. Her gleaming black hair is styled into an elegant pompadour. It's what I call her stock look, how she most often appears. When she smiles, it's like everything else fades away.