"Ah, well, it’s no problem then. I could use the night off anyhow,” he said, interpreting my headshake as a denial of his offer.
“Oh no, no! That wasn’t what I meant at all! I just got lost in my own thoughts for a moment. Yeah, sure, I would love to join you," I replied awkwardly, trying to regain my composure and save face.
“Then I’ll see you back here at six,” he confirmed, refilling his coffee mug.
My eyes secretly followed his movements, taking in parts of him that I had never given much thought or notice to before. His arms were sculpted, and even from across the kitchen I could see the sinews of his biceps flex as he moved. His t-shirt clung to his chest and back, stretching over his long, lean frame. His jeans hung low on his hips and rounded nicely over his shapely ass.
Liam had always taken good care of himself, and it definitely showed. I had never really considered that he wasn’t that much older than I was. I guess I always just thought of him as being old enough to be my dad, but in fact, he was five years younger than my mother, which made him only twelve years my senior. He had a full head of dark brown hair, with just a few flecks of silver near his temples that made him look distinguished.
Liam turned in my direction, forcing my eyes to snap back to the sink as my cheeks grew red hot. “I’ll be upstairs if you need me,” he declared, disappearing up the stairs to his study.
I scrubbed the dishes anxiously. ‘What is heck wrong with you?’ I scolded myself. I had never, ever looked at him that way, and I wasn’t about to start…was I? I looked at my watch. It was seven-thirty, which meant I had just enough time to get to yoga if I hurried.
A sense of relief flooded through my veins as I set up my mat and began taking deep meditative breaths. Yoga had been an integral part of my life ever since my biological father passed away. He had been a firefighter, and was killed when a building collapsed around him. The entire community came together and generously donated so much to our family, but only one thing had truly helped me cope and come to terms with my loss: yoga.
I let out a deep cleansing breath, feeling myself float into oblivion as my mind went blank. I didn’t come to yoga to think; but rather, not to think. Somehow letting go of every fear and every thought was infinitely more productive than meticulously sifting through emotions, fears, and desires.
By the time I walked out of class I just felt…lighter. It wasn’t that I had come to any epiphany, condemning or accepting my actions and thoughts. No, it was simply that I had let go of all judgments against myself and against my mother.
As I was approaching the gate to the walkway that led up to the house, I saw Liam come jogging around the corner towards me. I lifted a hand and smiled as he closed the gap between us. His body was wet with perspiration and his chest and legs were bare. I let myself stare as he began slowing down to a walk.
“Hey there,” he grinned. His hair was wet and his face was glowing with the adrenaline of a good hard run. “How was yoga?” he asked, nodding towards the mat tucked under my arm.
“Wonderful,” I smiled back. “You really should try it sometime. It does wonders for the soul.”
“Not to mention the body,” he winked playfully, his eyes giving me a once over as he pushed the gate open and held it for me.
I blushed as I walked past him. He was flirting, and I was certain that he was admiring my backside, clad in tight yoga pants, as he followed me up the walkway. ‘What the heck,’ I thought, putting a touch more sway in my hips than usual; perhaps I wasn’t so opposed to the attention after all. Besides, it was sort of…fun.
I took a shower and decided it would be a good day to take Liam’s advice and apply to some colleges. Just as I was headed out the door my phone buzzed. It was my mother. I took a deep breath before answering.
“Hey mom,” I said quietly as I stepped outside. Liam seemed to be doing relatively well, all things considered, and I didn’t want to bring down his mood by revealing the fact that I was on the phone with her.
“Lily, I think we should talk. I’m headed downtown to Pesto Italiano and want you to meet me for lunch.”
I looked at my watch. It was only eleven; that still gave me plenty of time to get to the library afterwards.
“Alright mom. I’ll be there in twenty-five minutes.”
When I walked into Pesto’s I saw my mother stand up and wave to me from a table near the back wall. I started towards her, quickly realizing that she hadn’t come alone. It was bad enough that I was going to have to make amends for the night before, but now I would have to do it with an audience.
“Lily, I want you to meet Tom!” my mother gushed with excitement as Tom stood up to shake my hand.
“Nice to meet you, Tom,” I said unenthusiastically. She gave me a disapproving look as she wrapped her arms around me in an embrace.
We all sat down and studied our menus. Once we had ordered, there was no avoiding conversation, so we ended up awkwardly commenting on the weather and the traffic as if it were truly interesting.
My mother’s lips turned up into a huge smile. She leaned in over the table, taking Tom’s hand into hers.
“The real reason I invited you here today was that we have really big news!” she chirped with excitement. I knew what she was going to say before she even said another word. I was completely disgusted to say the least.
“Tom and I,” she lifted the back of her hand to eye-level and exposed the little diamond-encrusted band wrapped tightly around her ring finger, “are getting married!” she exclaimed with pride and excitement.
I swallowed hard, knowing that there was nothing good that could come from letting my frustration get the best of me. Sure, it would have felt good to tell her exactly what I thought about her little surprise, but I knew I would regret it later.
“Wow mom,” I brought her hand closer to me so I could better study the ring. “It’s beautiful,” I said with false enthusiasm.
I looked at Tom and smiled, then not-so-politely inquired, “How long has my mother been hiding you?” Her eyes grew dark as she caught the drift of my sarcasm. I didn’t care.
“Well let’s see. Penny and I met last August, so…that makes it almost seven months now!” Tom said cheerfully. Clearly, he wasn't the brightest bulb in the box.
“That is really great,” my lips held in a false smile, “I am so happy for you both.” I glanced at my watch. “Oh shoot! I hate to do this to you guys, but I am going to have to cut this thing short.” I pulled a twenty from my wallet and dropped it on the table. “Again, really nice to meet you, Tom, and I wish you both the best.” I wrapped my arms around my mother. “Love you,” I said dryly as I turned and stalked out of the restaurant. I knew my mom had her issues, but this was just plain low.
I spent the rest of the day trying to forget the scene at the restaurant. How my mom had slept in the same bed with Liam for over six months while courting a new man was beyond me. Every last semblance of respect I’d had for her was beginning to fade, only to be replaced by a ridged indifference.
I was so worked up that I had completely forgotten that Liam had invited me to dinner. I walked into the house at 6:30 only to find Liam dressed to the nines and waiting for me.
“Oh,” I cried, “dinner!”
I ran down the hall, Liam’s face looking puzzled as I muttered obscenities at myself for being such a thoughtless dunce. I stripped down and pulled on my best little black dress, leggings and heels. Five minutes later I returned, panting from the rushed effort.
“I’m ready!”