Sunback yawned widely, showing sharp teeth as white as her pelt, and an impossibly pink tongue. "Have we received such a delegation?" she asked Rumblepurr. The old Chamberlain pondered for a moment.
"Can't say as we have, Your Softness," he said finally. "Don't think I've heard of the Meeting Wall Clan before this, and it's a dead-rat certainty that no embassy has arrived from there."
"There you are, then," said Dewtreader. "I'm afraid that the doings of the big, wide world sometimes pass this little Court right by. I'm truly sorry that we couldn't help you. Feel free to stay in Firsthome as long as you need to. Perhaps, if you're interested in ail that, you could be of help to Fencewalker. You are past your hunt-song, aren't you? Well, no matter. Mri'fa-o. The Queen's audiences are at an end."
Howlsong, who had fallen asleep at the outer edge of the canyon while he waited, led them silently back through the forest. Fritti, full of vague resentment and gloom, had no conversation to offer, either. After a long stretch of unspeaking travel, Pouncequick finally broke the stillness.
"Just think, Tailchaser," he said, "we've actually been to see the Queen of Cats!"
CHAPTER 15
I do not know which to prefer, The beauty of inflections
Or the beauty of innuendoes, The blackbird whistling Or just after.
–Wallace Stevens
The days passed swiftly in Firsthome. Outside the sheltering vastness of the Rootwood winter had come.
Fritti and Pouncequick chased away time beneath the great trees, exploring, hunting, becoming fat and glossy of coat. Roofshadow, still polite and reserved, spent a great deal of time with them. She seemed, in particular, to enjoy accompanying Pounce-quick on his various expeditions.
One dark afternoon, when the kitten and the gray fela were out wandering the mazes of Firsthome, Tailchaser found himself alone. Howlsong was on an initiation stalk, prior to his Oel-cir'va ceremonies, and would be gone for two sunrises. As the other residents of Firsthome, very few of whom Fritti even recognized, bustled to and fro on secret errands and assignations, Tailchaser strolled beneath the trees by himself. It had been a long time since he had gone anywhere without the accompaniment of a chattering voice, or even the presence of a companion.
He meandered to the southern edge of Firsthome, where the trees gave way to the edge of Sunsnest- walking at his own pace, listening to his own inner songs. He wandered out beyond the forest's eaves and down a grassy, sloping meadow sprinkled with feathery early snow. He was so tightly wrapped in thought that he did not hear the icy burblings of the Purrwhisper until he stood on its banks.
Crouched on his haunches, fur ruffled against the chilly wind and fluttering snow, he watched the river splash past-passing out of his sight to the east, Vez'an, where it would eventually join the Caterwaul. Farther, much farther still, was the place of his nesting and kittenhood, and the forest and fields where he had run with Hushpad through the bright-sky summer.
He slit his eyes against the cold breeze as he stared out across the plain; he thought about going home. Rootwood would never be a home to him. Somewhere out there, beyond the winter lands, was the Meeting Wall. Somewhere out there were his friends.
But not his family. Not Hushpad.
For some long time he sat, tail curled around his paws, then rose and walked back up the steep meadow, with the laughter of Purrwhisper diminishing behind him.
"Tailchaser!" chirped Pouncequick. "We've been looking about for you. Did you go exploring? Roofshadow and I have something important to tell you!"
Fritti stopped to wait as the kitten bounced up the trail toward him. "Good dancing, Pounce," he said, "and to you, Roofshadow." The fela looked brooding and preoccupied. "I have some news myself. Let's go back to our tree, and out of the wind."
In the bower, as the wind shook the treetops high overhead, Fritti addressed his friends in a serious tone. "I hope you will understand what I am going to tell you, and will think well of me. I have been thinking about it quite a lot, today. The decision was not so hard as wondering how to tell you.
"I have to leave Firsthome. I have stayed here too long already, and I am losing my purpose-but the promise I made is just as important as it was when I made it. I cannot winter here quietly while Hushpad is undiscovered.
"After going to the Court, and hearing all that was said, I have concluded that no further help can be expected here. It seems that something is happening in the North, and I believe that is where I must go to continue my search. I am quite frightened, really, and every one of my whiskers is atwitch at the prospect, but I must go. Harar knows, sometimes I wish… I… Pouncequick, are you laughing?"
Pouncequick was indeed laughing, snorting little giggles and thumping Roofshadow with his paw.
"Oh… oh… oh, Tailchaser," he said between sneezes, "of course we must go. That's what Roof-shadow and I were talking about today. And several other days, also. But Roofshadow said you had to decide for yourself when to leave."
Fritti was taken aback. "We? But Pounce, it's the cold season. I can't take you along with me. It's not your oath, your ridiculous promise. And besides, forgive me, you're awfully brave, but you're still just a killing. This may be terribly dangerous-don't you see?"
"I know that." Pouncequick had a more serious expression, but was still enjoying Tailchaser's discomfiture. "I think that between you and Roofshadow, you'll manage to keep me out of harm. And perhaps we can do the same for you."
"Roofshadow?" Now Fritti was astonished. "Roof-shadow, you must not understand how risky this all is. Keep Pounce here, I beg of you. Harar! Have you both gone as mad as old Eatbugs?"
Roofshadow stared at Tailchaser with cool, deep eyes.
"I, too, wish the young one didn't insist on going- but he does. Who am I to know the way of Meerclar? She calls the Folk to many different purposes. As for me, well, I do not fault you for not knowing… but others beside yourself have scores to settle-and promises to keep."
"But…" Fritti began. The gray cat cut him off.
"Tailchaser, before you ever came to Firsthome I stood before the Vaka'az'me, asking for help. I got no more assistance than you did. I, too, had thought about striking north to seek answers-and was about to set off when you two arrived, and broke my resolve. Now, I am ready again."
Fritti stared, uncomprehending.
"I come from the far side of Rootwood," Roof-shadow began. "My birthing-place is separated by many leagues and countless trees from the Seat of Sunback. My sire was Slipwhisker, one of the elders of the Forest-Light Clan. He was a respected hunter, and I had many brothers and sisters.
"As a young fela I scorned the young males in our tribe-they were overbold and self-satisfied. When I came into my season I made sure to be far away from the clan, so I would not be betrayed by my nature into bearing a litter that I did not yet desire. I found that I enjoyed being by myself; enjoyed the solitary way of the hunter.
"I wandered far afield, usually alone. Sometimes I would take my little nest-brother, Snufflenose. He was one of the few Forest-Light Folk whose company I cared for." Here Roofshadow looked away into the forest heights for a moment. When she turned her gaze back to Fritti, her face was as calm as before.
"Slipwhisker, who sired me, would sometimes tease me about whether I was a fela at all, or instead a small and slender torn. I think he was proud, though. I could hunt as well as any of the young males-and bragged about it a good deal less.
"One morning I had resolved to go exploring E'a-ward into the Rootwood. I asked little Snufflenose if he wanted to come, but he was not feeling well. He asked me if I would stay and keep him company around the nest, but the smell of the morning was strong, and there were new and exciting currents tickling my whiskers. I left him behind, and went out on my own.