She knew she was being unreasonable, but that didn’t change what she felt, what she wanted. “I want it to be more.”
Bree’s face softened. “Did you ask him to be more?”
Had she? “Not exactly.” She thought back over their relationship. “Well, I might have said the L word.”
“Maddie!” She lowered her voice. “Did you mean it?”
Maddie paused, not wanting to admit it now, after they were over. “Yes, I meant it. But I only said it once, during…you know. Does that count?”
“With you, yes it does. But maybe he needed it spelled out for him. Did you not have any other chance during those three weeks to tell him? Or was incredible sex all you had time for?”
“No.” She grinned. “We were having incredible sex. But we talked too.”
Bree pressed her. “Then you didn’t tell him because…”
“Because he’d say ‘not interested’ and I’d get hurt. Or—”
“Or he’d say ‘me too’ and give you more.”
Maddie scowled at the interruption. “Or he’d say, ‘Let’s just take this one day at a time.’ Eventually you can’t do that anymore. You have to make plans. You have to know where you’re going.”
Bree lifted her hands as if to strangle Maddie. “It’s Micah flippin’ Preston, Maddie! He’s the guy. If he wanted me one day at a time, I’d be on that in a heartbeat and he’s not even my type.”
“He might be the guy, but he doesn’t think I’m the girl.”
“But he hasn’t said that exactly, right? So you’re just running before he gets a chance to. Okay, whatever. Go ahead and be chickenshit.”
“He doesn’t believe Hollywood relationships can work, Bree.” Her voice was raised and tight in her throat. “Until he believes otherwise, there’s no point. He’d always be expecting us to fail. He’d always look for reasons to justify why we shouldn’t be together.”
“Well, that could be true.” Bree took a swallow of her wine. “And you think he’s totally sold on that stars-can’t-date thing?”
Maddie took a moment to think before she answered. Micah had said he was considering a future with her. She hadn’t forgotten that. But he’d said that to her in a hot air balloon far above the Colorado landscape. It had been like a beautiful dream, a romantic place that stirred romantic notions. Kind of like saying ‘I love you’ during sex.
God, had he dismissed her words as easily as she was dismissing his?
It didn’t matter. Because even if she believed the words he said in the air, she couldn’t forget the words he’d said on the ground. “I haven’t seen anything to change my mind.” And more important were the words he never said—he never said he chose her.
“I don’t think he wants to be totally sold on it,” Maddie said finally. “But yes, he is.”
“Well, that’s a load of shit. People in Hollywood date all the fucking time.”
“You’re preaching to the choir.” This wasn’t anything Maddie hadn’t thought about a hundred times. But she’d also considered Micah’s point of view. “You have to admit, though, this town has a higher rate of failed relationships than most places.”
“I don’t have to admit shit. You’re talking about Micah being all self-fulfilling prophecy with his viewpoint and all, but what about you? You sound as convinced that it isn’t going to work out as he is.” She shook her head in frustration. “If you really loved him, you think you’d have a little more faith.”
“I’m kinda all out of faith, Bree. This whole biz has jaded me.”
“I get it. But I just have to ask…” Bree reached over and tapped Maddie on the nose. “What if he loves you too?”
Maddie traced the bowl of her wineglass with her index finger. “He could have told me during those three weeks.”
“Did it ever occur to you that he might be just as stupid at this type of thing as you are?”
Maddie thought back to the hot air balloon ride, when Micah had taken her hand in his. I’m scared. That had only been a day and a half ago. Maybe she was short-changing him. Maybe he really wanted to give her more. Maybe he just needed more time.
But that was a lot of maybes, a lot of opportunities for Maddie to get hurt. Yeah, that’s right, Micah, I’m scared, too. Too scared.
She was done with Micah. She looked at her watch. “Your five minutes are up.”
“Madalyn Rae Bauers!”
She threw her head back and groaned at the use of her full name. Maddie knew her friend. If she didn’t give something, Bree would harp on her all night. “All right, if I see him again, I’ll talk to him.”
“Promise?”
“Yes.” But Maddie didn’t plan on seeing Micah again. Seven years had passed between their first and second meetings. It couldn’t be that hard to pass another seven before she saw him again. Now it was time to move on.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
“Ms. Bauers, right this way please. The team is waiting in the private conference room.”
Maddie grabbed Bree’s hand to steady her shaky knees as they followed the receptionist to the conference room at Three Spot Films. She still couldn’t believe that Bree had gotten her a meeting with potential investors only two weeks after her return from Colorado. It had to be a record in the movie biz.
The receptionist, a petite Asian woman, led them toward a small room with glass walls. Inside, Maddie could make out three men and a woman sitting around a table. Two of them had their backs to her. Something about the scene triggered a feeling of familiarity, but before she could analyze it further, Bree put a hand on her shoulder.
“Maddie, hang on a sec.”
“Take your time,” the receptionist said, stepping aside so they could talk privately.
Maddie took a deep breath, preparing herself for the pep talk she was certain Bree was about to give her.
Instead, Bree turned Maddie so she was no longer facing the conference room and took both her friend’s hands in her own. “Um, don’t be mad, okay?”
“About…”
Normally confident and self-assured, Bree seemed flustered. “See, here’s the thing. I have names of people that Beaumont works with, of course I do, but none of them care what I have to say about an unknown filmmaker. And, Maddie, the people Beaumont works with are the ones who’ve heard shit about you from him. They don’t want to work with you. I could shop your movie all day long for the rest of my life and still not get a single meeting. Producers need a name attached, someone who is in the biz who’s willing to go to bat for you.”
Maddie’s stomach dropped. “What did you do?”
“He contacted me, Maddie.”
Maddie pulled away and looked back over her shoulder, not wanting to confirm her suspicion, but needing to all the same. Yes, the familiar feeling about the people in the conference room—one of them was Micah. She felt faint.
She hadn’t talked to Micah since the airport. He had called at least once a day even though she never answered. His text messages were more frequent, but those she deleted right away without fully reading. Because if she didn’t, who knew what she’d read into them?
Nights were the hardest. Her queen-size bed felt large and cold. She’d toss and turn for hours. Finally, she’d pull out her laptop and Google his name, reading every article ever written about him, watching every YouTube interview. She always ended staring at the photos of him and her together. Then she’d cry and eventually fall asleep.
She so wasn’t over him yet. There was no way she could see him now. All he had to do was smile at her and she’d be putty in his hands. “I’m not going in there.”
Bree gripped Maddie’s arms at the shoulders. “Yes, you are. This is your dream. Don’t be stupid about it.” Here was the pep talk. Just not the one Maddie had expected. “It’s good business, Maddie. He recognizes your talent and he’s been looking for a project to invest in. And it’s not just him. Three Spots wouldn’t be on board if they didn’t think it was good. Take the meeting. Decide then.”