“Tell me,” he whispered. “Say it.”
“Fuck me.” The words were exciting and thrilling, the anticipation of what we were about to do, that he was going to take my virginity right here, right now, on this couch, mixing together with the feel of his body on top of mine, his dick against my pussy, his hands and mouth all over me.
I was hot and cold at the same time, shivering and bursting into flames, out of my mind and completely clear. It was like he was awakening every good feeling I’d ever had, every hope I’d ever given up on, every need I’d ever been afraid to admit, every desire I’d ever denied myself.
The way he was playing with my body and the feelings he was stirring inside of me physically, were too primal, too strong to be tamped down. For the first time in my whole life, I felt alive.
Colt stared into my eyes, pushing my hair back from my face.
‘“Olivia,” he breathed, and ran his hand up the side of my body, his fingers intertwining with mine as he crushed his mouth against mine, his stubble rubbing against my chin, his tongue slipping past my lips, gentle this time. “Are you sure?” he whispered, his eyes filled with want.
I nodded and a second later I felt him press inside of me in one gentle stroke, pushing past my resistance. There was a sharp sting of pain and I cried out in surprise, but he silenced me with another kiss, keeping his mouth on mine, his tongue moving rhythmically in my mouth as he began moving inside of me slowly, getting me used to his cock.
His breathing deepened, and mine did too as our bodies fell into a rhythm as he fucked me. He was so slow, so gentle, so tender as he broke me in.
The stinging pain began to fade to a dull throb, and then the dull throb began to be replaced with a deep pleasure, one that seemed to start in my pussy and move through my body, spreading out from my belly into my limbs.
He began to quicken his pace, to pump his hips into me faster, and he took his lips from mine and propped himself above me.
I looked down to see him disappearing inside of me, his cock buried inside of me as our bodies became one. He was so big, so thick and hard, and I was shocked that I was seemingly able to take all of him.
“You. Are. So. Fucking. Tight,” Colt groaned as he pumped into me, faster and faster.
I could feel that same feeling coming over me, the same unstoppable feeling I’d had when he was kissing me on my pussy, and when he lowered his mouth to my nipple, sucking my tit into his mouth with an audible suckling sound, I felt my body get pushed over the edge.
I came, the sensation indescribable, the pleasure so exhilarating and unbelievable that I almost felt as if I couldn’t be happening to me.
“Look at me,” Colt groaned. “Let me see you when you come.”
I moved my eyes to his, and just when I thought the waves of pleasure were done rolling through me, they started again, twisting through my body, radiating from my core, taking over my body, shattering me into a million pieces.
“Shit,” Colt said. “I’m going to come inside you, baby. You’re so fucking tight. I can’t help it.”
He pumped harder and harder, his hands skimming down my sides, over my hips until he cupped my ass and pulled me into him so he could get deeper inside of me.
I felt him convulse on top of me, and then I felt him explode in my pussy, warming me with his come, filling me, making me his.
When he was done he collapsed on top of me. I ran my hands up his back, enjoying the feel of him still inside of me as I ran my hands over the chiseled muscles of his back, up the back of his neck and through his hair.
He pulled out of me slowly, then laid next to me on the couch.
I swallowed, the adrenaline slowly dissipating, the intensity and meaning of what I’d done finally beginning to hit me.
Colt turned over and propped himself up on his elbow.
He reached out and grabbed a strand of my hair, began absent-mindedly turning it over in his fingers. I couldn’t tell from his expression what he was thinking. Had he liked it? Had it been as good for him as it was for me? Had I been enough for him.
I wanted to ask him what he was thinking, but I was afraid.
“Are you okay?” he asked softly.
I nodded. “Yes.”
“Did I hurt you?”
I shook my head. “No. Not too much.”
We lay there for a long moment, not saying anything, our legs tangled in each other, Colt’s fingertips brushing softly over my lower belly.
There was knock on the door, and Colt jumped off of the couch, rushing to put his clothes on.
I followed suit.
“Colt,” Jessa called from the other side of the door. “The door’s locked.”
“Yeah,” he said. “I’m coming.”
He turned and left, whatever had burned between us, whatever connection we’d had, disappearing into a puff of smoke.
**
I went back to my computer.
I didn’t know what else to do.
It was impossible to concentrate.
I couldn’t believe I’d slept with him, right there on the couch. I kept glancing over there, like it was the scene of a crime.
I wondered how many girls he’d slept with on that couch. Probably dozens.
The thought filled me with a sick jealousy.
How could I feel this way about someone I hardly knew?
As the hours went by, the panic began to build in my chest.
I’d slept with him.
Kissing him was one thing.
But sleeping with him?
I was supposed to go see Declan tonight. How could I tell him what had happened? Did I even have to tell him what had happened? We’d promised each other that we’d never be with anyone else, that we’d be each other’s first everything. But we couldn’t cross that line when we were in the system – if we’d gotten caught hooking up in our foster home, we’d be separated forever.
Declan had been willing to risk it.
But I knew that if he was caught with me, they’d blame him. Sure, it would be bad for me – I’d be moved, and it would always be in my file that I had a sexual history with another foster kid. ‘Sexually acting out’ they called it, as if two teenagers hooking up was something nefarious and not completely normal.
But it would be worse for him.
It was always worse for the boy.
I typed his address into the computer, searching for clues as to what his life might be like.
His apartment building seemed to be in a nice area of town, and it made me glad. I wondered if he lived alone, if he had a roommate, what kind of job he had.
When I googled his name, nothing came up, and I wondered again how Colt had found him.
“You still going?” a voice asked.
I turned to see Colt standing behind me, his voice low and dark.
“Oh,” I said. “What?”
“Deacon,” he said. “You’re still going to see him?”
“Declan,” I said.
Colt rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Are you going to see him or not?”
“I’m not sure.” For the first time in my life, something was stronger than my desire to see Declan. It was my desire for Colt. He stood there in front of me, in his t-shirt and jeans, sexy and gorgeous and beautiful, and the need to be close to him pulsed inside of me, pushing everything else out.
I wanted to kiss him, wanted to feel his hands on me and his body on mine. It was a pull stronger than anything I’d ever felt before, more intense than my need for Declan, more intense than my need to cut.