“Carter, I have to tell you something,” she uttered as she massaged the back of his head gently. Knowing that it would be the last time she would ever touch him, she took her time and stared him in his eyes. “I’m not who you-”
Before Miamor could get the words out of her mouth, Carter’s lips covered hers. He kissed her passionately as he removed the hotel robe she was wearing. He didn’t want to make love to her. She was still too weak for that. He just wanted to take care of his queen, to nurture his woman, to sit back and spend time with his future wife. He removed his Calvin Klein boxers and pulled her gently into the tub.
“Carter, I really need to tell you this-”
“Shh!” his lips never left hers as he silenced her. “If you’re not saying “yes", then I don’t want to hear it. Will you marry me?” he asked.
A lump formed in Miamor’s throat. How could she tell him no? She nodded her head and gave him a weak smile. “Yes,” she answered, but as soon the words left her mouth, she knew that she had made a mistake. In the morning… I’ll tell him tomorrow, she told herself.
The next morning, Carter awoke to find Miamor staring at him. Her eyes were swollen and red from crying all night as she watched him sleep.
“What’s wrong, ma? Everything a’ight?” he asked as the palm of his hand graced her face. “Are you in pain?”
“More than you can even understand,” she admitted.
“I’ma take all of that away, Mia,” he said. “We’re moving to Phoenix. I’ve already begun making the arrangements. In a week, we’ll be miles away from Miami.”
Miamor put her finger to his lips. “Carter, I need to tell you something. There is something that I need to get off my chest. It’s important.”
Carter frowned. He could see the worried look in her eyes. There was something heavy on her mind, and he wanted her to know that she could tell him anything. “Just say it, Miamor. You can talk to me.”
“First, I want you to know that everything I feel for you is real. It’s more real than anything I’ve ever known. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone in the world. You mean everything to me, Carter, but I can’t accept this ring,” she said as she removed it from her finger.
“Don’t do this, Miamor,” he said. “Don’t shut me out.”
Miamor stood up and paced the room, her wobbly legs barely able to keep her up. Just tell him, she urged herself. “Carter, there’s a lot about me that you don’t know. I’ve been lying to you-never about how I feel-but all along, you never knew who I really was. Ma’tee paid me and my girls to get at The Cartel!”
Carter sat up in the bed and his eyes instantly turned cold. He stood and put his hands on the wall as he lowered his head and absorbed her words.
“I belong to a group called the Murder Mamas. We’ve hit niggas from New York to the South. Ma’tee paid us to come at Mecca, but he ended up killing my sister, Anisa. I’ve been at him ever since, but he got to me first. He beat the shit out of me. All these cuts and bruises came from him, all because he knew who I was. He gave me a poisoned drink at your sister’s memorial, but I gave it to Taryn. I knew the drink Mecca had given me had something in it, and I gave it to her anyway. I was willing to do anything to get back at Mecca for taking my sister away. When I first met you, I didn’t know you were a part of The Cartel!” Miamor cried.
Carter was calm, as he used the wall for support. He was too calm for what she was telling him, and she had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach, but she still continued her confession.
“Carter, you have to believe me. If I had known that you were a part of it, I would have never fucked with you. I came to your brother’s funeral to kill Mecca. That’s when I found out who you were, but by then, it was too late. I had already fallen for you. I love you Carter, but there is something wrong with me inside. Killing is all I know. I’ve been doing it since I was twelve years old. You don’t know me! I’m a bitch! I’m a Murder Mama! I’m heartless and cold! I’m all of these things, except when I’m with you. You are the only person in my entire life who has ever taken my pain away!”
Carter clenched his teeth as he listened to Miamor’s story. The realization of who she really was hit him like a ton of bricks. The thousand lies that she had told him were a slap in the face. It was all too much for him to even comprehend. He could feel his anger rising as he thought of how he had trusted her. He had made the mistake of letting her get close. All this time, he had been sleeping with the enemy. She had been plotting on him while he had been investing his time and commitment into her. She had played him. He thought of the day he had seen her at Monroe’s funeral, and then the faces of his deceased loved ones popped into his mind. She had contributed to the madness, and he had allowed her to. Everything had gone down right underneath his nose. Mecca had tried to warn him about her treachery, but Carter had refused to see. That’s why he hates her so much! he thought.
Miamor walked over to Young Carter. His silence was killing her. “Please, say something!” she begged.
Carter didn’t even feel himself react until it was too late.
Smack!
His rage took over, and he slapped her with such force that it sent her flying to the ground. She instantly tasted the salty blood that oozed from her busted lip.
Carter stormed over to the nightstand where he had stored his gun. Miamor’s eyes grew large when she saw him approach her with it in his hands. He loaded the clip and cocked it back, then knelt down over her. With tears in his eyes, he grabbed her hand forcefully. “Take the gun, bitch!” he mumbled through clenched teeth as he held the barrel up to his chest while she gripped the handle. “You wanted to get back at The Cartel that bad? Do you know how many innocent people you’ve hurt? Pull the trigger, Miamor. I am The Cartel! Now is your chance!”
Miamor lay beneath Carter with the gun in her shaky hands. “Carter, don’t do this!” she beseeched.
“Kill me, you grimy bitch! This is what you wanted. I told you I’d give you anything. You wanted this, so I’m giving it to you.” Carter was so livid that he was foaming at the mouth, and his grip was so tight on her hand that it felt like her bones would crush from the pressure.
Miamor had never let anybody test her or even speak to her in such a way. Carter was pulling her card, and her murderous instincts clicked back in slightly as she glared into his eyes. He was challenging her, calling her bluff, daring her to shoot him. This mu’fucka must not know, she thought as her nostrils flared. Miamor was like a pit bull. When she was docile, she was one of the most loyal and gentle creatures in the world. But when provoked, something inside of her snapped, and once she clicked on, it was very hard to turn her off.
Miamor’s finger wrapped around the trigger, but when she looked into the eyes of the man she loved, she could not bring herself to finish what she had started. Too many things had changed. Her heart wasn’t as cold as it used to be. “I can’t!” she wept. “I can’t!”
Carter snatched the gun from her and put it to her head, pressing it point blank range as his finger danced on the hair trigger. Hatred and betrayal was in the air as he contemplated ending her life. She had peeled away at his outer layers, the same way that he had done to her. They had penetrated each other’s souls, which is why her treachery stung so much. He knew that he should kill her. She deserved to die, but not at his hands. He threw the gun across the room as he arose to his feet. “Get the fuck out,” he said calmly, but Miamor didn’t move. Instead, she rolled onto her side as she cried. She was paralyzed in her grief.