"I am a man of Cornwall," he began. "My family have always lived in Cornwall. Perhaps I would have been wiser had I never left it; but, like many young knights, I had to go adventuring. Fate took me to Ireland, and Boy Cupid introduced me to Queen Broda. When we met, doves flew over us and a sparrow lighted on her golden chariot. It was love at first sight, but the sad hap was she did know I was from Cornwall. She rules mightily over a large of Ireland, and there her word is law, but she loved me and the fact I was poor made little difference in the sweetness of her kisses. We were ready to marry, but when she found that I was a Cornwall man, she simply told me that she would never marry me, even if I was last man on earth.”
"That was a very positive statement," I suggested.
"It was, and there is no doubt she meant it. Then I came home, and since then it has made little difference to me whether I was ever to be Overlord or even whether I was alive or dead. For, to be happy, I must have Broda for wife, and for her to be happy she must have me for her lover, and yet she says it can never be simply because I am a man of Cornwall."
"Tis a sad tale," I agreed, "and I suppose you want my help?"
"That is why I lingered."
"Did she give any reason for her cruel refusal of your love?"
"That in very truth she did. She said that all Cornwall men have tails of braggadocio and other tails, the very thought of which filled her with fear."
"Do you mean that she believed you to be a tailed man?"
"Yes. That is what she said."
"Of course she must have some reason for such an idea."
"She certainly must."
"Naturally, if she really thought so, we cannot blame her for not wishing to marry you. Under the circumstances the lady showed rare judgement and a very fine discrimination. But why did you not show her she was wrong?"
"I tried to in every way I could but in the argument she said twenty words to my one, which is a way women have of winning an argument I told her that I was as tailess as any of her Irishmen, hut she simply cried and said she could not trust me and how would she led after we were married and she could not undo it, to find that I had lied to her. I told her that I was a true man and spoke the truth, and she retorted that thus had all men spoken to women since the days of Knight Aeneas and Lady Dido and none were to be trusted, especially one with a tail."
"Oh, these women! These women!" I sadly remarked, shaking my head.
"Have you ever been in love?" he asked dolefully.
"No. I have had so many more important adventures to accomplish that there has been neither time nor inclination to fiddle-faddle and waste my time over such a frail, inconsequential part of life as women."
"Then you don't know anything about them. Ever try to argue with a mad woman?"
"Positively no. When I was in Araby a very wise man gave me this sage bit of philosophy: ’He who argues with a woman is a fool and he who tries to argue with an angry woman is a damned fool.' So I leave them alone except when they become too dangerous, and then I simply kill them."
"I thought you could help me," he sighed, "but I would not want you to kill her. Then I would have to kill myself, and our spirits would wander by die water of Lethe, seeing each other every day, yet unable to realize that we ever knew each other."
"Cheer up." I said; "I may be able to help you. I think I will send for this haughty queen and explain a few things to her. Can I tell her positively that you have no tail?"
"That is something you will have to decide for yourself," was all the satisfaction FitzHugh would give me.
"I think you ought to be candid with me," I cautioned him, shrugging my shoulders. "I am Overlord of a country which I hope some day will be a great realm. One of the foundations of my land will be honesty and fair dealings with our neighbors. Thus we may hope to escape devastating wars. Suppose, on my word of honor as a true Overlord, I tell this lady that you have no tail, and on the strength of ray say-so she marries you and then she finds that I told her wrong? Think how she would feel! She probably would cut off both your head and your tail and come to Cornwall to revenge herself on me. So it is very important that I know certainly about this problem."
"You will simply have to make up your mind, form your own opinion." He was so stubborn that I was on the point of telling him to be gone but, on learning that he lived only a few hours ride from my castle, I suggested that I ride with him and spend a few days in his company. This seemed to cheer him, and he at once urged me to do so. He told me his mother was a fine old dame and had lovely roses and a complete herb garden where she raised simples for the healing of their folk.
In fact, I was greatly pleased with Dame FitzHugh, she was a very pleasant lady, quite witty and at the same time remarkably learned. Though greatly distressed over the unhappiness of her son, she spared no effort to make my short visit a pleasant one and we had several very interesting and profitable conversations in the privacy of her rose garden. Then I left them, promising that I would do what I could as soon as I could and assuring them that I was certain everything would turn out in a most happy manner to the great satisfaction of FitzHugh.
It was a fortunate happening that I returned to the Hubelaire castle when I did. While the nobles of Cornwall were perfectly willing for me to be their Overlord, the men of Wales had some different ideas. In fact, they had a candidate of their own. Ambassadors were waiting for me who said that unless I left the country at once they would secure the help of Queen Broda, who hated Cornwall more than she hated Hell, and they would come over my land and replace all the dead Cornwall men with first-class Welshmen.
I consulted with several of my mightiest knights. It was their opinion that if the Welshmen came by themselves it would be an even fight, but if the Irish became their allies it would be hard to overcome them. They were certain that all of Cornwall would be loyal to me, but there was no doubt they were afraid of this Irish queen. Of course the little man I had befriended had kept his promise and made me Overlord but, after all, he had made no definite promise as to how long I was to retain that honor and, thus far, I had had no opportunity to test the efficacy of the magic words on the Golden Key. However, I decided to act bravely and told the Welsh ambassadors to hurry back to their own land and tell their King, Harold Dha, to mind his own affairs and stay out of Cornwall or I would work a magic on him that he would always remember.
I had a hard time enjoying the library that evening. Even the manuscript of Elephantis failed to thrill me. I told myself that this matter of politics was a most unsatisfactory one and, just as soon as I could, I would retire to a very quiet place such as Avalon-by-the-Sea.
The next day was stormy. So was the next day and on the third day frightened runners came and told of a large Irish array marching toward my castle; and soon after other runners told of a Welsh force within a day's march. Thus, before I could gather together my own nobles and their warriors the Hubelaire castle was almost surrounded, the Irish on one side and the Welsh on the other. It was safe enough with the drawbridge raised, but in a rather sorry situation for the Overlord of a great country.
Then to make the affair more complicated. Queen Broda asked for an interview with me. Her herald, a most interesting old man, said she plotted no treachery, but that, if I doubted her word, I could be accompanied by some hundred warriors. This was most complimentary, as I had less than thirty fighting men at that time in the castle. The herald said the queen preferred privacy and wished to meet me alone that night on the grassy green before the drawbridge. I told the herald I would be there and alone as the queen requested.