All of the men had a different tale to tell about the monster. None had actually seen it, but all agreed that it was a serpent, twenty yards long, a shape like a great unicorn, a headless man, a bull with the head of a man, a real dragon like unto those of Gobi, or a three-legged giant. All agreed that it was mighty a horrid thing, that could easily kill a man, simply by blowing a flame of fire in his face. The usual weapons were powerless; steel could not cut, lance could not pierce, mace would not crash. The more they talked, the more peculiar I felt and the more clearly I saw why the knights of Wales were too busy to attend to this matter. It was really an awkward situation.
Yet they were all mightily cheered over my being there and said repeatedly that it any human man could kill this monster, the Giant-killer of Cornwall could, and I told them I was sure I could find the maiden and rid the land of this foul animal, be it man, beast or demon. And at that, a very old Jew bent before me and humbly thanked me and said that he would give me fifty gold crowns if I did so, as he was betrothed to this maiden, having purchased her from her father, and that the wedding would have been consummated by now had the fiend of the mountains not taken her.
I looked at the old man, his withered face and shrunken frame and scanty white hair, and the more I saw of him the less I liked him, and thought to myself that perhaps the girl was better off in the mountain than in his house. In fact, I suddenly grew sick of the whole adventure and demanded that I be taken to my room and left to sleep till the morrow. And so they did to me, and a restless time I had, missing sorely my featherbed, as I tossed on a couch of com shucks.
The next morning the entire people of the town gathered to see me put on my armor, and after that was done and a quart of beer drunk moodily (for it was poor stuff), I sadly mounted my horse and rode toward the mountain, the priest going ahead, singing a prayer, and the old man and woman on either side my horse, and the old Jew running on behind, urging me to be careful, and that he would surely give me my fifty crowns.
The old woman kept repeating, “No other man would do it. No other man!”
“Would be such a fool,” I added in a whisper. “No other man. Why, a thousand men I had read of would have been glad to do such a deed only, I, who had cleared my own country of such monsters, was a fool to do such dirty work for the men of Wales.”
And the old man and the priest and the Jew took up her chant, “No other — man would do it — no other man.” Yet, finally, we came to the edge of the wood and a mile from the side of the mountain, and they paused and said they would go no further with me but would go back and wait in prayer for my safe return.
The trees were so close together that I could not ride my charger so I got off and tied him to a tree, and then I looked into the wood. It was dark and feyish, yet through the trees came glittering, glimmering gems of sunshine, and far away I heard a thrush sing and a squirrel chatter in the tree, and I knew then that I was in the Enchanted Forest, for here was springtime and pleasant weather. It being warm, I took a view of the situation and saw that I could not fight well with all the steel on me so, back to my horse, and there I made myself comfortable, and when I next wended woodward I had on my woolens, and my great sword hung on my back, my shield on one arm, a dagger in my belt, and a lovely woods flower in my right hand.
Thus, on to the rocks, and nearing them I heard the sound of singing, and the song was about love and roses and ladies tresses, and I marvelled at this, and knew that it was magic, and further on I wandered, and finally came to the singer, and at that I was greatly frightened. For I knew that now I was in the midst of a great mystery and a mighty magic. For this evil beast who had stolen the poor girl from her parents had, in preparation for my arrival, changed, by his cunning, his so ugly body into that of a lovely damsel, and was waiting there to deceive me, and, when I was unaware, to kill me with his poisons and his powers.
I knew that it was useless to cut such a being with sword or pierce him with dagger. His body was so much air. In such a conflict, weapons of ordinary use were worthless. So I carefully put off my sword and my shield and my dagger, and, holding the woods flower in my outstretched hand, I closed in to the conflict.
“Though thou art a mighty magician,” I cried, “I command you to give to me the poor little girl you stole from her parents on Ash Wednesday. Give her to me and I will not harm you, but if you persist in your evil desires, I will match my magic with yours and overcome you.”
“Who are you?” demanded the creature, “and why are you here?”
I could tell from the way he talked that he was impressed by my threat.
“I am the Overlord of Cornwall, Cecil, the son of James, the son of David, the son of John, and back even to Saint Christopher, who loved before he became a saint. For years I have ruled in Cornwall. You may be interested in knowing that I am the one who killed the dragon of Thorp’s Woods. I destroyed seven slithering, shimmering snakes in Ireland. Alone and unaided I destroyed seven floors who threatened the reputation of one of our ladies. On twenty-three gallows in my land hang, bound in chains, and coated with tar, twenty-three bandits whom I caught and caused to be punished for their crimes.
I paused to watch the effect of all this. There was no doubt that the miscreant was impressed. So I continued:
“So it was that when this poor girl, who, by the way, was to marry a very rich man, was stolen from her parents, these simple folk appealed to the King of Wales, and he pled with his knights to rescue her, but they all refused, being too busy. So he sent a special letter to me, and for five days I rode over the worst roads possible to effect this great deed. I think that you had better submit quietly and let me restore the girl to her parents and to her future husband, because, if you refuse, I will have to fight and overcome you, no matter what shape you may assume.”
At that the monster started to cry, “She will never go back and marry that miserable old man. It would be better for her to die.”
I realized at once that this was simply a part of the deception that the horrific monster was trying to impose on me with so I grew stern.
“She must go back!” I said harshly, and twirling the woods flower in my hand to distract his attention, I advanced on him, for it was my purpose to suddenly spring forward, take him by the throat, and squeeze him to death before he had a chance to change his form from that of a lovely woman to his usual one of a dragon or six-legged scorpion.
The monster looked at me. The eyes he had assumed were blue, the face fair and smooth as a rose petal, but his mouth was a lovely red bow. The body he had taken for a disguise was fair, and, under the silken robe, swayed with the seductive curves of a Grecian Aphrodite. Suddenly he started to cry.
“No other man,” he sobbed, “would make me go back and marry ” that old Jew. No other man — “
But by then I had jumped forward and crushed him in my arms.
Some days later I came out of the dark forest. My poor charger had eaten all the grass within his reach, had broken loose, but, true to his master, had remained near the armor. I slowly put the heavy pieces back on, being minded to thus return to the town. Then I mounted and drew the damsel up in front of me and thus we slowly rode back to the town.
To my surprize I was met there by a great concourse of armed men. It seems that the King of Wales and his knights, hearing that I had gone into the mountains on such a grim adventure, had gathered to my rescue, and, had I not appeared that day, would have searched for my bones to give them Christian burial. My sudden arrival made such a search unnecessary; so there was nothing to do but make merry over my return from this so great adventure, and allow the feasting and merrymaking to take the place of solemn masses for the peace of my soul.