Suddenly, a hand on my shoulder made me turn around. It was Jamshed. “Bet you weren’t expecting to see me in Bombay.”
“Actually, I was. Percy wrote you were coming.” Then I wished I hadn’t volunteered this bit of information.
But there was no need to worry about awkward questions regarding Percy. For Jamshed, in fine fettle, had other thoughts he was anxious to share.
“So what are you doing here? Come shopping?” he asked jokingly, indicating the little stalls with a disdainful sweep of his hand. “Terrible, isn’t it, the way these buggers think they own the streets — don’t even leave you enough room to walk. The police should drive them off, break up their bloody stalls, really.”
He paused. I wondered if I should say something. Something that Percy would love to hear me say. Like: these people were only trying to earn a meagre living by exercising, amidst a paucity of options, this one; at least they were not begging or stealing. But I didn’t have a chance.
“God, what a racket! Impossible to take even a quiet little walk in this place. I tell you, I’ll be happy when it’s time to catch my plane back to New York.”
It was hopeless. It was his letter all over again, the one he’d written the year before from New York. He had then temporarily disturbed the order I was trying to bring into my new life in Toronto, and I’d struck back with a letter of my own. But this time I just wanted to get away from him as quickly as possible. Before he made the peace of mind I was reaching out for dissipate, become forever unattainable.
Suddenly, I understood why Percy did not want to meet him again — he, too, sensed and feared Jamshed’s soul-sapping presence.
Around us, all the pavement stalls were immersed in a rich dusk. Each one was now lit by a flickering kerosene lantern. What could I say to Jamshed? What would it take, I wondered, to light the lantern in his soul?
He was waiting for me to speak. I asked, perfunctorily, how much longer he would be in Bombay.
“Another week. Seven whole days, and they’ll go so slowly. But I’ll be dropping in at Firozsha Baag in a couple of days, tell Percy.” We walked to my bus-stop. A beggar tugged at his sleeve and he mechanically reached in his pocket for change. Then we said good-night.
On the bus I thought about what to say if he asked me, two days later, why I hadn’t mentioned that Percy was not coming.
As it turned out, I did not have to say anything.
Late next evening, Percy came home unexpectedly. I rushed to greet him, but his face revealed that he was not returning in this manner to give us a pleasant surprise. Something was dreadfully wrong. His colour was ashen. He was frightened and shaken, and struggled to retain his composure. He tried to smile as he shook my hand limply, but could not muster the effort to return my hug.
“What’s the matter?” said Mother. “You don’t look well.”
Silently, Percy sat down and began to remove his shoes and socks. After a while he looked up and said, “They killed Navjeet.”
No one spoke for the next few minutes. Percy sat with his socks dangling from his hands, looking sad, tired, defeated.
Then Mummy rose and said she would make tea. Over tea, he told us what had happened. Slowly, reluctantly at first, then faster, in a rush, to get the remembering and telling over with as soon as possible. “The money-lenders were ready to make trouble for us again. We didn’t think they’d do anything as serious as the last time. The press was following our progress and had reported the arson in many newspapers. Yesterday we were out at the wholesaler’s. Ordering seed for next year. But Navjeet had stayed behind. He was working on the accounts. When we returned he was lying unconscious. On the floor. His face and head were bleeding badly. We carried him to the makeshift clinic in the village — there is no hospital. The doctor said there was severe internal damage — massive head injuries — a few hours later he was dead.”
There was silence again. Perhaps when we were together later, sharing our old room again, Percy would talk to me. But he lay on his bed in the darkness, wide awake, staring silently at the ceiling, tracing its old familiar cracks as I was, by the hints of streetlights straying through the worn curtains. Was there nothing to say? There had to be something I could do to help.
Strangely enough, it was Jamshed who provided this something the next day.
When he arrived in the evening, he presented Mummy with a box of chocolates and some cheese triangles. She asked him how he’d been enjoying his trip so far. He replied, true to form, “Oh Auntie, I’m tired of this place, really. The dust and heat and crowds — I’ve had enough of it.” And Mummy nodded sympathetically.
Soon, the moment Percy had been dreading was at hand. Mummy asked him to narrate, for Jamshed’s benefit, the events which had brought him home so suddenly. But Percy just shook his head, so she told the story herself.
When she finished, we shifted uneasily. What was next? But Jamshed could not contain himself. He heaved the sigh of the worldly-wise: “I told you from the beginning, all this was a waste of time and nothing would come of it, remember? Every time we met we would talk about it, and you used to make fun of me wanting to go abroad. But I still think the best thing for you is to move to the States. There is so much you could achieve there. There, if you are good at something, you are appreciated, and you get ahead. Not like here, where everything is controlled by uncle-auntie, and ….”
When Jamshed concluded his harangue, Percy calmly turned to Mummy and said in his quiet voice, “Could we have dinner right away? I have to meet my friends at eight o’clock. To decide our next move in the village!”
Five days later I was back in Toronto. I unpacked my suitcases, which were quite flat on the return trip and had not required the extra leather straps. I put my things away and displayed in the apartment the little knick-knacks bought in handicraft places and the Cottage Industries store.
Gradually, I discovered I’d brought back with me my entire burden of riddles and puzzles, unsolved. The whole sorry package was there, not lightened at all. The epiphany would have to wait for another time, another trip.
I mused, I gave way to whimsy: I Tiresias, throbbing between two lives, humbled by the ambiguities and dichotomies confronting me…
I thought of Jamshed and his adamant refusal to enjoy his trips to India, his way of seeing the worst in everything. Was he, too, waiting for some epiphany and growing impatient because, without it, life in America was bewildering? Perhaps the contempt and disdain which he shed was only his way of lightening his own load.
That Christmas, I received a card from Jamshed. The Christmas seal, postage stamp, address label were all neatly and correctly in place upon the envelope, like everything else about his surface existence. I put it down without opening it, wondering if this innocuous outer shell concealed more of his confusion, disdain, arrogance.
Later, I walked out of the apartment and down the hallway, and dropped the envelope down the chute of the garbage incinerator.
Exercisers
If you don’t want to take our word for it,” said Jehangir Bulsara’s parents to him, “that’s fine. Ask Bhagwan Baba. Let him decide, with his holy wisdom, that the girl is unsuitable for you.”
That was last week. Now the day of the journey was here; Mr. and Mrs. Bulsara, with Jehangir, were bound for Bhagwan Baba’s dwelling place in the suburbs. From outside the gates of Firozsha Baag they took the bus to Bombay Central Station, and boarded the Sunday morning local.
Such guidance-seeking train journeys were customary for the parents, but this one was solely for Jehangir’s benefit. “Your entire life’s happiness is at stake,” they had insisted. “When Bhagwan Baba speaks your eyes will open, all will become clear.”