Then she turned, got into her car, and drove away.
Uncle Jake was thrilled with the information they had gathered at the library. But when Daphne offered to write the letter to Goldilocks, Jake shook his head. He claimed he had made a call to some old friends and they were sending something that would work a lot better than a stamp and an envelope. In fact, he promised their search would soon be over. When the girls and Puck headed off to bed, Jake was still staring at Goldilocks through the mirror. She was in a boat riding on a canal. A man with a long pole steered her along as she glanced up at the moon.
The next morning Sabrina woke to loud shouting and pounding. She rubbed her eyes and looked around, not surprised to find that Daphne was still sound asleep. She climbed out of bed, slipped on a robe she had hanging from her bedpost, and stomped down the stairs. By the front door, poking his head out of the umbrella stand, she found a creature that looked like it was part dwarf, part crocodile. He gestured to the door.
“There’s a man out there,” the creature hissed. “He could be dangerous.” He held a walkie-talkie to his face and cried, “Where’s my backup?”
Sabrina looked through the window and saw Robin Hood pounding on the door.
“That’s Robin Hood. We know him,” Sabrina explained.
“Cancel that backup, people!” the creature shouted into his walkie-talkie. “We are back to code yellow. All clear. I repeat, we are at code yellow.” Then he sunk his head back into the stand and disappeared.
Sabrina quickly straightened her hair, tightened her bathrobe, and checked herself in the hall mirror. She could just die, letting the handsome lawyer see her in her goofy pajamas and with a serious case of bed head, but she seemed to be the only one awake and he kept shouting that there was an emergency. Finally, when she realized nothing would make her look better short of a shower, she opened the door.
“You’re not dressed! Kid, you’ve got to get dressed,” the lawyer exclaimed as he barged through the open doorway. “Where is everyone?”
Sabrina was horrified to be called a kid. “In bed. It’s not even eight in the morning,” she said, awkwardly pushing her hair behind her ear.
“Well wake them up! We have to get over to the courthouse, now,” Robin cried. “The trial is starting today!”
“What trial?”
“The trial of the Big Bad Wolf,” he said.
“Why wouldn’t we be informed of the trial ahead of time?” Granny Relda asked.
“Because Heart and Nottingham are trying to catch us off guard,” Little John bellowed as they met him at the top of the stairs. “If they can present their case without a defense then the trial could be over within minutes.”
“So they’re pulling a fast one,” Uncle Jake said.
“Absolutely,” Robin replied, “but they’ve forgotten how fast I can be. We’ll put a stop to this.”
“Do you have anything prepared?” Granny asked.
The lawyers shook their heads. “No, but there’s nothing to worry about,” Little John said. “After we ask the judge for a postponement, we’ll have plenty of time to prepare.”
Sabrina watched Daphne take out her dictionary. “Daphne, postponement means that they want more time before the trial begins.”
Daphne scowled and put her dictionary away. “I don’t need your help.”
Robin and Little John hurried the group through the front doors, up a flight of marble stairs, and into the courtroom. Sabrina was startled to find that the room was packed with Everafters. Goblins, witches, fairy godmothers, winkies, munchkinlanders, talking animals, and countless more were all excitedly discussing the trial. There were few empty seats left.
Past the audience gallery, Sabrina noticed the jury box—two rows of seats set apart on the far side of the room. Each row contained six people for a total of twelve, and each juror was more bizarre than the last. The Cheshire Cat was one of them, as was Glinda the (not-so) Good Witch. There was also an enormous snail smoking a hookah pipe, a talking sheep, a young man dressed entirely in blue, and, much to Sabrina’s horror, an enormous egg with arms, legs, and a face. The top of its body was cracked but whatever was inside was still intact. Sabrina recognized most of them from around town or from one of the many books the family had on Everafters. Only one was a mystery to her. He wore a black hood that kept his face in shadow.
At the front of the room was a wooden chair on a raised platform. Next to it was a much taller podium where a short, oddly shaped man with a tremendous head was sitting. He had an unruly mane of white hair stuffed under a big black top hat and a nose so incredibly large Sabrina suspected Lilliputians could live in his nostrils. He wore a long, black robe and held a carpenter’s hammer in his hand. Sabrina guessed he was the judge.
Watching over the crowd were three card soldiers. Sabrina had run into their kind before. Their limbs and heads were human but their bodies were huge playing cards. They acted as Mayor Heart’s personal guards. The Three of Clubs seemed to be guarding the judge, while the Five of Diamonds and the Seven of Spades watched the doorway.
There was heavy pounding on the door and the guards opened it. Several more card soldiers filed in, pulling the heavy chains attached to Mr. Canis. They forced him into a seat behind a big desk, then ran the chains through an iron ring fastened to the floor. Canis looked tired, but he grew angry when he spotted the family.
“What are you doing here?” he growled.
“We came to help, of course,” Granny Relda said.
“I don’t want your help!”
“Order!” the judge demanded, pounding on his desk with the hammer. Sabrina had seen judges use gavels on TV, but never real hammers. With each pound of the tool, splinters from the desk shot into the air. “Order! What is this commotion in my courtroom?”
Robin Hood and Little John rushed to the judge’s bench and bowed respectfully. “Your honor, we apologize to the court for our tardiness. We’re counselors for Mr. Canis.”
“Do you think you can show up for court whenever you want to, counselors?” the judge roared. “I should have the two of you thrown out of here on your ears.”
The outburst caused quite a bit of excited chatter, which enraged the judge even further. He slammed his hammer down again and again. “Order. I’ll have order in this courtroom,” he bellowed. “I want a toasted sesame bagel with low-fat scallion cream cheese. You folks can order whatever you want, but get separate checks.”
Robin Hood and Little John looked puzzled. “Your honor, we would like to ask for a postponement,” Robin Hood said as the family took whatever seats they could find. “We only just learned our client was being tried a half an hour ago.”
“Your client wasn’t tried a half an hour ago. He is being tried right now,” the judge said matter-of-factly.
“No, your honor, I mean we learned about the trial a half an hour ago.”
“What trial a half an hour ago? I think the two of you should be concerned with the trial that is going on right now!”
Little John looked as if he might climb up on the podium and strangle the judge, but Robin gestured for him to calm down. “Your honor. As I was saying, we wish to postpone this case until we’ve have had time to speak with our client about his defense, as well as to interview the prosecution’s witnesses.”
The judge’s face turned beet-red and he slammed his hammer down, angrily. “Overruled!”
“But your honor—” Robin begged.
“Why did you invite us down here if you aren’t ready for the trial?” the judge moaned.
“Sir, we didn’t invite you down here,” Little John protested.
“Well, that’s terribly rude,” the judge cried. “You put on a trial and you don’t have the common decency to invite me? Counselors, you are not getting off to a good start.”
“This guy acts like he’s lost his mind,” Sabrina said.
“He has,” Granny whispered. “He’s the Mad Hatter.”
Sabrina’s mouth fell open and she gaped at the judge in disbelief. Even she knew the story of the Mad Hatter. Alice met him at a tea party and he nearly drove the poor girl mental. He was the very definition of crazy.
“How did he get to be a judge?” Uncle Jake asked.
“I appointed him,” a woman’s voice said from behind them. Sabrina turned and found Mayor Heart sitting directly behind her. Heart’s face was painted in bone-white pancake makeup, dark ruby lipstick, and purple eye shadow that crept up to the edge of her hairline. She looked like a deranged party clown—worse, she looked like Sabrina did when she tried to put on her own makeup.
“This isn’t fair,” Sabrina seethed. “You can’t have a mental patient running a courtroom.”
“As a matter of fact, I can. You see, I’m the mayor,” Heart replied, then broke into a laugh. “Still, it doesn’t matter who I appoint to oversee this case, brat. It will end the same way. The Wolf is going to swing from a rope and then there will be no one left to protect you.”
A commotion at the front of the room turned Sabrina’s attention back to the trial. “Where is the prosecuting attorney?” Judge Hatter asked.
“I’m right here, your honor,” a man shouted as he barreled through the double doors into the courtroom. Sabrina took one look at him and cringed. She felt her sister’s hand slip into her own. This man’s beard, moustache, and hair were an unnatural shade of blue.
“Bluebeard.” Uncle Jake gasped, along with most of the others in the courtroom.
“I’m quite ready to get started if it pleases the court,” Bluebeard said as he stepped over to an empty desk and put down his briefcase. “In fact, I’m ready to call my first witness.”
Robin Hood glared at Bluebeard. “I haven’t had any time to discuss the case with my client. I haven’t interviewed any of your witnesses.”
“That’s unfortunate,” Bluebeard said. “But I have no doubt you’ll catch up. As for right now, like I said, I’m ready to call my first witness. Rather, I have three witnesses, and I’d like to call them all to the stand at the same time, if it pleases the court.”
“It might,” Hatter said, clapping like a happy child. “Call your witnesses.”
Robin pulled his partner back to the defendant’s table. Once Little John was calm, he and Robin tried to assure Mr. Canis that everything would be fine. The old man acted as if he couldn’t hear them.
“The prosecution calls the Three Little Pigs to the stand,” Bluebeard said. One of the card soldiers opened the double doors and in walked former deputies Boarman and Swineheart—two of the Three Little Pigs. They were both pear-shaped men, difficult to tell apart from a distance, but up close they had very distinct features. Jed Boarman had curly brown hair and wore glasses. He had a tiny little moustache, and he was prone to sweating profusely. His complexion was pale, even more so when walking into court, as he seemed quite nervous. His friend and business partner Alvin Swinehart had a pompadour haircut that reminded Sabrina of Elvis Presley. His long bushy sideburns and reflective sunglasses added to the resemblance. Both men were in ill-fitting suits and wearing ties. They scanned the courtroom as they entered and spotted Sabrina and her family, flashing them apologetic smiles that made Sabrina nervous. Were they going to say something that would hurt Mr. Canis’s case?
Their arrival caused a great disturbance in the courtroom, and the gallery began to chatter. The noise made Hatter bang his forehead on his desktop and shout for order. Eventually, he remembered his hammer and slammed the tool down hard on the buckling wood instead. When the room was quiet, Bluebeard approached the men.
“I was under the impression that there were three of you.”
Swineheart ran his hands through his slick black hair. “Well, there are, but we’re not attached at the hip, ya know.”
The crowd laughed until Hatter went to work with his hammer.
“So, am I to understand that Ernest Hamstead won’t be joining us? Where is your friend?”
The men suddenly changed into pigs, a metamorphosis that occurred whenever they were nervous or excited. They honked and squealed for a moment but quickly reverted back to their human forms.
“We don’t exactly know where he is,” Boarman said sheepishly. “He’s missing.”
“Missing?” Bluebeard said. “How could someone go missing in a town this small?”
Boarman shrugged.
“I suppose the two of you will do,” Bluebeard continued. “Gentlemen, will you tell us what you do for a living?”
“We’re architects,” Boarman said, “though not too long ago we were deputies for the Ferryport Landing Police Department.”
“Fascinating,” Bluebeard said. “According to the famous story of the three pigs, the three of you had a run in with the Big Bad Wolf. Is that correct?”
Boarman and Swineheart nodded.
“And if I’ve heard the story correctly, the three of you each built yourselves a home. One made a house out of straw, the other made a house of twigs, and the last—brick. Which one of you built which house?”
“I built the twig one,” Swineheart said.
“And I built the brick,” Boarman replied.
Bluebeard smiled and turned to the jury. “Now, I’m not a builder, but I know a thing or two about houses. You have to build them out of strong materials. Twigs are not going to pass building codes, but if you bribe the right official you might get away with it.”
“I never bribed anyone in my life!” Swineheart cried.
Bluebeard ignored him. “But bricks are a pretty good building material. However, very few people would choose to build a house out of straw, would they?”
Boarman and Swineheart said nothing.
“Straw would fall down at the slightest wind. Straw would fall apart at the first rain. I could break into a straw house with a lawn mower!” Bluebeard shouted, causing a large portion of the gallery to chuckle. “But I’m no architect. Perhaps there’s something to this straw house. Tell me what happened to those houses.”