“Oh, brother,” Puck said.
The crowd turned to glare at him.
“Please, could he be any more dramatic?”
Judge Hatter slammed his desk with the sledgehammer, sending a portion of the wood to the floor. “Silence in the courtroom!”
“What happened next?” Bluebeard continued.
“I pounded on the door so hard it fell off its hinges. I’m a strong guy. I work out. I can bench about two-fifty, really. Then I rushed in with my ax raised. The Wolf had finished off the old woman—there was nothing I could do for her, but the little girl was still in danger. Now the monster knew he didn’t want to go head to head with me, so in desperation he turned and swallowed the little girl whole.”
Mr. Canis shifted uncomfortably.
“Good heavens!” Bluebeard cried. “What did you do?”
“That’s a situation where instinct takes over. I swung my ax at the monster’s belly. It split from end to end and the child spilled out, perfectly healthy. The assault caused the Wolf to pass out, so I filled his belly full of rocks and sewed it shut with some thread I found in a cabinet. Then I carried the creature on my back to the river and tossed him in. The weight of the rocks caused him to sink to the bottom.”
“Yet he lived,” Bluebeard said, gesturing at Canis.
“He’s a tough customer,” Hatchett replied. “But I’m tougher.”
“I appreciate your time,” Bluebeard replied as he took his seat. “I’m finished with this witness.”
Hatchett barely noticed. He continued promoting himself. “I tell the whole story on my Web site, hatchettland.com. It’s a great place to buy my various products, including my twelve-inch action figure with kung-fu grip, my Woodcutter All-Protein Organic Cereal Bars, Woodcutter Toilet Paper, Woodcutter Nasal Spray, and the new six-patty Hatchett EZ-Grill. It seals in the juices and drains the fat for perfect burgers every time!”
Robin Hood leaped to his feet. “I have some questions for you!” he shouted as he approached the man.
“Order!” the judge cried, but Robin ignored him.
“You claimed you saw a monster attack the women—can you be sure it was the Wolf?”
“Order!”
“How did you carry his huge body over your shoulder, filled with stones no less, and dump it in the river? How far away was this river? Did anyone see you do this?”
“Order! Order! Order!” the judge shrieked.
“I have the right to question witnesses, your honor!” the lawyer shouted.
“Objection!” Bluebeard cried.
Hatter slammed the heavy sledgehammer down on his desk, which split into two and collapsed. “Now look what you’ve made me do!”
“This trial is a sham!” Little John shouted, as he leaped to his feet.
“Guards, remove these men from my sight!” the judge demanded. A mob of card soldiers rushed forward and pulled Robin Hood and Little John from the courtroom, but they didn’t go peacefully. They fought and shouted that there was no justice in Ferryport Landing.
When they were gone, Judge Hatter got to his feet. “We’ll see you all here tomorrow.” He left, and the crowd started filing out of the courtroom. Guards dragged Canis out of the courtroom and back to his cell.
Granny rushed everyone outside, where they found Robin Hood and Little John crawling out of the gutter and dusting themselves off. Sabrina expected the men to be furious but they were both laughing.
“It’s been a while since we got thrown out of a place, hasn’t it, old friend?” Robin said.
Little John laughed. “McSorley threw us out of his pub last week, Robin.”
“Oh, yeah, I forgot!” The men roared with laughter.
“You two seem to be in a good mood,” Granny said.
“Actually, we’re in a rotten mood,” Little John replied. “But it’s important to laugh from time to time. As for this court case, well, it’s a joke. They aren’t going to let Canis defend himself.”
“Our approach now is to cause as much of a disturbance as possible,” Robin Hood said.
“I’d like to help with that,” Puck offered.
“You’ll get your chance soon enough, Trickster King,” Robin said.
“What do you have in mind?” Uncle Jake asked.
“Oh, that would be telling,” Robin said. “As for now, I think I’d like to take a visit to Mr. Hatchett’s amusement park. I have a feeling that he’s not telling the whole story.”
“You think he was lying?” Daphne asked.
“That scrawny little man couldn’t carry a sack of groceries on his back, let alone the Big Bad Wolf,” Little John replied. “If only we could let Canis out, I have a feeling he could get the man to confess a few things he’d rather keep secret.”
“We don’t need the Wolf for that,” Daphne said. “Can we stop at home for a second before we go see Hatchett?”
“Sure, liebling,” Granny said. “What do you have in mind?”
Granny and Daphne rushed into the house. Sabrina waited in the car and watched the light flash on in Mirror’s room. They must have been picking up something in the Hall of Wonders. When they returned, they explained their plan to the rest of the group.
Puck was ecstatic. “It’s been a while since I’ve had the opportunity to pull a good prank,” the boy crowed.
“You filled my pillow with horse manure four days ago,” Sabrina reminded him.
“Four days is a long time,” he replied.
Robin Hood and Little John pulled up outside the house and honked the horn.
“That’s them,” Granny said. “Let’s go.”
Uncle Jake backed the car out of the driveway, made sure the lawyers were right behind him, and then drove the family through the country roads of Ferryport Landing. Granny navigated with the help of a tattered map.
“I didn’t know anything about an amusement park dedicated to the Red Riding Hood story,” Uncle Jake said.
“Years ago Dr. Doolittle ran a petting zoo on the property, but it went bankrupt when the animals went on strike,” Granny said. “Apparently, Hatchett bought up the land. I have to wonder how much money he makes on the place. It’s out in the middle of nowhere, and, to be honest, I hadn’t heard a word about it until this morning.”
“Well, we’re about to find out,” Uncle Jake said, pointing ahead. “There it is.”
The amusement park looked more like a shrine to Hatchett than a place for a family to spend the day. A twenty-five-foot-tall statue of Hatchett himself greeted everyone at the front entrance. To get into the parking lot, the cars had to drive between the statue’s legs. Uncle Jake pulled the car through just as it backfired and sent a cloud of black smoke upward, staining the statue’s pants. In the parking lot they found a dozen more statues of Hatchett, including one where he stood triumphantly over a cowering wolf.
“This guy sure does love himself,” Little John said as he and Robin got out of their car.
“He’s the idol of millions, remember?” Sabrina said sarcastically.
“How do we get in?” Puck asked.
Uncle Jake pointed to a path with a sign above it that read THIS WAY TO THE SCENE OF THE CRIME!
The group followed the path until they came to a gate with several turnstile entrances. To the right was a store. A sign above it read the big bad gift shop. Sabrina spotted movement through one of the store’s windows and led everyone inside. Her entrance triggered a mechanical wolf’s howl that came from a dusty speaker mounted above the door. A pimply faced teenager behind the counter put down his handheld video game and approached the group. When he reached them, Sabrina noticed he was wearing a hat with big wolf ears on it.
“Welcome to Hatchettland,” he said in a well-rehearsed voice. “Are you here to visit the museum or just stopping by to stock up on all our popular Woodcutter-brand products like our gourmet Woodcutter Wasabi?”