Talltail broke into a run. “Jake? Is that you?”
Jake was pacing back and forth, his eyes like huge moons. He stopped when Talltail reached him. “What happened?” he demanded.
Talltail glanced at Sparrow as the rogue caught up with him. Jake blinked in surprise.
“You didn’t do it!” Jake breathed after Sparrow had padded past and pushed through the bracken.
Talltail sat down wearily. “No.”
“Why not?”
“Sandgorse saved him.”
Jake’s eyes clouded with confusion. “He saved him?”
“It’s what Sandgorse would do.” Now that the rage had gone, Talltail wondered how he could ever have thought of killing Sparrow. Had grief taken away all his faith in the warrior code?
“I knew it!” Jake paced around him. “I knew you couldn’t do it!”
Talltail’s pelt pricked. What if Sparrow hadn’t had time to explain? What if I’d pushed him over as a monster came into the gorge? What if he’d—? He shifted his paws. With cold, crushing certainty, he knew that killing Sparrow wouldn’t have changed anything. “I let anger change who I am.” He gazed helplessly at Jake.
“No, you didn’t!” Jake argued. “In the end, you let Sparrow live. That was being true to yourself, far more than you were when you wanted to kill him.” His gaze softened. “I know you, Talltail. Your thirst for Sparrow’s blood, your belief that only his death would change the way you felt—that was never really you.”
Talltail blinked up at his friend. “You’re right. But that’s all I’ve thought about for so long. What do I do now?” He felt shaky, as if the path ahead had vanished into mist.
Jake glanced toward the camp. “Does Sparrow know you planned to kill him?”
Talltail’s whiskers twitched. “Oh yes,” he meowed grimly. “He knows.”
“Then we’d better leave,” Jake murmured. “We can’t expect him to share food and shelter with us now, even if you did change your mind.”
Talltail nodded, feeling numb. “I have to say good-bye first,” he meowed.
“Really?” Jake’s fur rippled along his spine. “After what you did?”
“Yes.” Talltail knew he couldn’t vanish without telling the other rogues he was leaving. That wouldn’t be fair, to let them think they had done something to offend him or Jake. “You wait here.” He wove through the crisp bracken into the center of the camp. Sparrow sat on the far side, washing his paws.
“Talltail!” Bess trotted over to him. “Sparrow told us you were both nearly killed by a monster!”
Reena bounded across the clearing. “Are you hurt?”
Algernon sat up, his ears pricked. “Sparrow said it was pretty close.”
Mole sniffed Talltail’s pelt. “You’ve still got the monster’s stench on you.”
“I’m fine.” Talltail looked at Sparrow.
Sparrow stared back, his impassive gaze as unreadable as ever.
Talltail dipped his head. “Jake and I must leave now.”
“Now?” Bess sounded surprised.
“You can’t go yet!” Hurt flashed in Reena’s eyes.
Sparrow stopped licking for a moment. “They must, actually,” he meowed.
Algernon looked over his shoulder at the brown tom.
Talltail shifted his paws. “Jake needs to go home,” he explained.
“What about you?” Reena’s muzzle was a whisker away from his. “Are you going back to WindClan?”
“I’ll see Jake home,” Talltail meowed. After that, who knows?
“I can show you the way,” Reena offered. “I know the Twolegplace.” She began to circle him. “If we start now we can be there by—”
Talltail cut her off. “We can find our own way,” he told her. Reena flinched as though he’d raked her nose with claws.
Bess pressed against her. “You heard him, Reena.” There was sympathy in the she-cat’s mew, and Talltail suddenly wondered if Reena had been hoping that Talltail would be her mate: that they’d have kits and travel together. Had she started to imagine a whole new life ahead of them?
Guilt rippled through his pelt. “I’m sorry, Reena.” Part of him wished that he could make her happy. Their kits would be brave and strong. Talltail shook the thought away. Reena’s path wasn’t his. He was destined to travel alone. “I’ll miss you,” he meowed a little awkwardly.
She touched her muzzle to his cheek. “And I’ll miss you.”
Sparrow got to his paws. “We won’t be visiting WindClan next greenleaf.”
“Really?” Because of me? Guilt jabbed Talltail’s belly.
“Times have changed,” Sparrow meowed. “We need new paths to roam. Old tracks grow stale.”
Algernon’s eyes were wide with shock. “You’ve decided this just now, have you?”
Sparrow shook his head. “Not right now, no. But I think it’s the right decision. We have our lives; WindClan has theirs. Rogues like us don’t belong in Clans. The warrior code wasn’t made for us. Right, Talltail?”
Stunned, Talltail nodded.
Sparrow went back to washing his paws. “Give our regards to Heatherstar and Hawkheart,” he mewed. “Tell them we wish them well.”
“I’m sure they would do the same for you,” Talltail croaked. He dipped his head to Mole. “Take care.” He wondered if the elderly tom would make it through many more leaf-bares.
“Travel well, Talltail,” Mole rasped.
“I will.” Turning, Talltail padded from the camp.
“Good-bye! Good-bye!” Bess and Reena called behind him.
“Watch out for dogs!” warned Algernon.
“I will,” Talltail muttered.
What will the Clan think when the rogues don’t appear next greenleaf? Will they think something terrible has happened? Or will they remember Sandgorse’s death, and think that the rogues are too ashamed to return? Talltail shook himself. He had left WindClan. What they felt about something far in the future was not his concern.
Jake hurried to meet him as he emerged from the bracken. “Is everything okay?”
Talltail nodded, heading between the trees.
Jake fell in beside him. “Did Sandgorse really save Sparrow?”
Fresh grief welled in Talltail’s throat. “Yes,” he meowed thickly.
Jake pressed against him. “Then your father died a hero,” he murmured.
Talltail couldn’t answer, his eyes clouding.
They padded through the woods, heading upslope until they reached the clearing where they’d first made camp. The hollow between the oak roots was still lined with wool and Talltail climbed in gratefully, too weary to hunt.
“I’ll catch something,” Jake offered. He headed away, returning as the sun touched the tops of the trees. He was carrying a tattered, old blackbird.
Talltail wrinkled his nose. “Couldn’t you find one that was even older?” he teased, climbing out to sniff the ancient bird.
Jake lifted his muzzle. “I caught it, didn’t I?” He took a bite, screwing up his face as he chewed the tough flesh.
Talltail bit into the bird. The blackbird was more sinew than meat, but he swallowed it anyway, grateful for Jake’s new hunting skills.
“Will you go home now?” Jake’s mew was muffled by feathers.
“I don’t know if I have a home.” Talltail took another bite.
“Of course you do!” Jake struggled to swallow. “You have WindClan!”
“I left WindClan.”
“They’d let you back.”
“I thought I’d keep traveling for a while,” Talltail muttered. “Would you like that?”
Jake took another bite of blackbird and chewed. “I think you should go home.”
“Home?” Talltail blinked at him. “I have no home. I don’t even know who I am anymore.”