Jake leaned forward and rested his muzzle on the top of Talltail’s head. His chin felt warm and soft. “I know who you are. You’re my best friend, and you always will be.”
Chapter 39
Talltail was dreaming. Stars whirled around him, twirling him through blackness. Then he plummeted down until the wind pulled at his fur and his eyes watered. Exhilaration surged through him as he fell, until soft peat touched his pads and Talltail realized he was standing on the ground. He blinked, and the darkness cleared. Light spilled around him, flooding the landscape. Above, a wide, blue sky stretched to the horizon. Heather as purple as dusk rippled over the soft curve of a hill. Grass, greener than Jake’s eyes, lay in swathes between the bushes, its scent so rich it made Talltail dizzy. A tawny pelt was slinking through the heather.
Brackenwing!
Talltail’s heart leaped. He bounded toward the she-cat, but she was moving too swiftly. Other pelts showed around her—black, gray, tortoiseshell—pelts he didn’t recognize. But he knew their scent as well as his own. WindClan. He was in StarClan’s hunting grounds.
“Brackenwing!” he called across the heather, but Brackenwing didn’t stop. Talltail hurried after her, trying to catch the eye of the other cats as he passed. But no cat seemed to notice him. A tabby looked straight through him as though he didn’t exist. A striped tom didn’t flinch as Talltail raced by.
I must catch Brackenwing! She’ll know me.
He burst from the heather onto a grassy summit. Brackenwing was looking down into a valley.
Talltail raced to her side. “It’s me, Talltail!” he cried.
Brackenwing didn’t move. She just kept staring down the slope. Talltail followed her gaze. Cats were moving over the grass below. Palebird. Dawnstripe. Hareflight. Hickorynose. Talltail’s heart lurched as he recognized their pelts. Brackenwing was watching what was happening in WindClan territory. Talltail’s paws ached with pain that felt like longing. Slowly at first, then faster, his feet carried him forward until Talltail found himself racing down the slope toward his Clanmates.
“Palebird!” He yowled his mother’s name, the sight of her tugging deep in his belly as though she’d hooked her claws in and was pulling him closer. Talltail’s mother didn’t look around.
“Dawnstripe!” Surely she would speak to him? But his mentor kept padding across the grass, her tail down.
Talltail ran faster. He had to make them see him! But his paws grew heavier with each step. The harder he pushed, the slower he ran, as though the air around him had turned to water and was holding him back.
“Dawnstripe!” The longing in his paws deepened; the claws hooking his belly tugged him harder. But he couldn’t get close enough to make the other cats notice him. “Dawnstripe!”
A paw poked his shoulder. “Wake up!”
Talltail jerked up his head. Jake was nudging him with a paw. “Another bad dream?” he meowed.
Talltail frowned. “Not exactly.” He could still see his Clanmates as clearly as if they were in front of him. The claws in his belly tugged again. He flinched.
Jake leaned closer. “Are you okay?”
Talltail lifted his muzzle and gazed at Jake. “My belly hurts. And my paws. As though they’re being pulled by something I cannot see.”
Jake sat back, nodding. “Your home is calling you.”
“What do you mean?” Talltail pushed himself up.
A purr rumbled in Jake’s throat. “Don’t you know?”
Talltail tipped his head on one side. “No.”
“I guess Clan cats aren’t used to leaving home.” Jake sounded amused. “I know the feeling you’re having. The nagging pain, the tug in my pelt and paws? I get that whenever I’m away from my home too long.”
“Really?” Talltail blinked. “Why?”
“Every creature needs to belong somewhere,” Jake told him. “Your paws know where that is, even if you don’t.”
Suddenly anxious, Talltail hopped out the nest. “But I don’t belong anywhere.”
“Are you sure?” Jake mewed. “What about your Clan?”
“I left my Clan.” Why did everyone act like he had just strayed for a while? Talltail glared at Jake. “My paws must be calling me somewhere else.”
Jake shrugged. “Wherever it is, let them guide you. The pain won’t go away otherwise.”
Talltail circled restlessly. “Will you come with me?”
“For a while.” Jake watched him, his expression guarded.
Talltail stopped. “This feeling I have—do you have it too?” Jake nodded, and Talltail felt a tiny, cold stone inside his belly. “You want to go back to your Twoleg, don’t you?”
Jake was quiet for a long time. Then he ran one front paw lightly over the ground. “That’s where I belong,” he mewed. “I can’t stay away forever.”
“I won’t stop you,” Talltail whispered. But he wondered if that was true. He didn’t like the ache in his paws, or the claws tugging at his belly. The future suddenly stretched into shadow. And he hadn’t even done what he’d set out to do—he hadn’t killed Sparrow. He knew he’d made the right decision when he let the rogue live, but where was the satisfaction? It felt like returning from a hunting patrol with no fresh-kill for his Clan. He felt lost and empty, and his dumb paws were tugging him who knew where. Would he really be able to let Jake go?
“Come on.” Jake headed toward the field. “Let’s catch a rabbit first. Last one to that tussock is a fox-breath!”
Jake caught the rabbit. Talltail was impressed. He’d chased it, but Jake was the one who veered around to cut off its escape and killed it with a single bite. The kittypet looked thrilled, his eyes gleaming as he carried it back to Talltail.
“I could teach you warriors a thing or two about hunting!” Jake teased as they ate.
After burying the remains of the rabbit, they climbed the craggy summit they’d crossed on their way into the valley. Clouds covered the sky, blocking the weak, leaf-bare sun. The breeze had lost its icy chill, but it was blustery, cold, and damp as it lifted Talltail’s fur. He felt better now that his belly was full, the rich flavor of fresh-kill distracting him from the invisible tugging claws.
As they reached the top, Jake sat down and gazed at the landscape ahead. “What can you see?”
Talltail squinted through the wind that was battering his whiskers. He felt as though he were being assessed on Outlook Rock. “Fields.” He recognized the first meadow he’d crossed with Jake. More meadows stretched around it, surrounding a dark mass of walls and dens. “And Twolegplace.” It sprouted in the middle of the valley like an ugly forest.
“What about beyond?” Jake prompted.
Talltail peered at the smudge of leaf-bare forest on the far side. “ThunderClan territory, I guess.”
“And beyond that?”
Talltail narrowed his eyes. Where the distant horizon met the sky, he could see swathes of brown heather. In a few more moons, they’d be greener than grass, burgeoning with fresh growth. The moor. His paws itched to pull him forward at the sight of his old home. He forced himself to stand still, but the effort made his heart ache.
“If we follow the path of a bird”—Jake pointed his nose directly toward the moor— “we only need to cut through the edge of Twolegplace before we reach Clan territory.”
“Why do we need to go to Clan territory?” Talltail nodded toward the fields sweeping on every side. “There are so many other places we could go.”
“But I’ve always wanted to see where the Clans live,” Jake reminded him. “I’ve looked in from my fence so often. Now that I’m with you, I can see the territories close up.”