"Well, Roz?" Eisner asked. "How about you? Are you with us, or do you want to shuttle down to planet-side? We'll buy out your share of the ship if you want."
Roz chewed her lip thoughtfully for a few moments before she replied.
"Tell you what," she said at last. "You can count me in with two conditions."
"What conditions?" Eisner prompted.
"First, that we unanimously agree here and now that Dwight runs the show. That he becomes our captain officially."
"Why?" Abuzar asked suspiciously.
"Come on, Abuzar. You know as well as I do that there has to be one man at the top. Eventually we're going to be in situations where one person has to give the orders and make the decisions. I figure we should decide who that's going to be now, instead of arguing it out in the middle of a crisis. Dwight's been running things since Blutman died and doing a pretty good job of it. Nikki's too reckless, and even you don't trust your temper. I couldn't do it, and wouldn't want to if I could. To my thinking, that makes Dwight number one. If we can't agree on something as basic as that, we should call it quits right now."
"I don't think I'm all that reckless," Nikki grumbled. "But I've got no objections to Dwight running things."
"Abuzar?"
"If we need a captain, I guess Dwight's the logical choice."
"Okay, that's that." Roz nodded. "How about you, Dwight?"
"I guess I never thought about it. I'm like Abuzar. I didn't really think a chain of command was necessary for four people."
"But will you serve as captain?" Roz pressed.
"Before I agree, what was the other condition to your staying with us, Rosalyn?"
"Oh, that." Roz grimaced. "It's nothing really. Your agreeing to be captain was the big one. My second point was that I think we should all take new names."
"Oh, come on, Roz!" Abuzar exploded.
"Hold on a minute, Abuzar," Eisner said. "Why do you think that's necessary, Roz?"
"I don't know about you other space bums, but I've still got family out there. I'm not too wild about dragging their name into the crazy things I'm going to be doing, and I sure don't want some pirate tracking them down to get back at me. Besides, up until now we've all got pretty clean records. On the off chance that someday we want to quit what we're doing and go back to leading normal lives, it wouldn't hurt to have a 'clean' name to go back to. Whether the rest of you want to go along with this or not, I'm going to use a different name for my new career. From now on, I want the rest of you to get used to calling me 'Whitey.' "
"Whitey?" Eisner raised his eyebrows.
"That's right." She grinned. "All my life I've wanted someone to call me that. I guess this is as good a time as any to get it going."
"Whitey." Eisner repeated, shaking his head. "All right, what do you two think about the whole idea?"
"Puck" Nikki said thoughtfully.
"What was that again?" Eisner frowned.
"I said Tuck,' " Nikki repeated. "That's what my dad always called me. It's the name of some cutesy-poo character in an old play. I always hated that name, but I like the idea of a feared pirate hunter called Tuck.' "
"It fits you," Roz teased.
"It's no worse than 'Whitey,' " Nikki said.
"How about you, Abuzar?" Eisner asked.
"The only man who ever beat me in a fight was a retard they called 'Egor.' He couldn't count on his fingers, but I've never seen anyone fight like that. Yes, you can call me 'Egor.' I'd like that."
"How about you, Dwight?" Roz asked. "Are you going to get in on this?"
"Um... Dwight," Nikki said. "If you do, could you pick a name that sounds fearsome and ominous? I mean, you are going to be our captain, and it would help if you had a name that scared people when they heard it."
"... and 'Dwight' just doesn't do it." Roz agreed. "What do you say, Dwight?"
"Actually, I'm not very good at names."
"How about The Skull'?" Nikki suggested hopefully.
"Be serious," Roz chided.
"lam serious," Nikki insisted. "His name should-"
"I think I've got one." Eisner smiled.
He had been doodling on one of the ship's receipt books, and held it up for the others to see. He had circled the logos: Ulnar Blutman's Moving and Transport.
"In honor of our departed captain who so generously left us his ship, I'll use the first letters of the old letterhead for my name."
"Ubmat!" Nikki read. "I don't know, Dwight. It doesn't--"
"Reverse them. Reverse them, and what you have is Tambu' !"
"Tambu," Whitey echoed thoughtfully. "I like it. It's got a nice ring to it. Has it got any special meaning, or is it just a word?"
"There's no special symbolism." Eisner laughed. "It's just a name. Now that that's settled, I'm ready to give my first order as your new captain."
"Don't tell me, let me guess," Whitey quipped. "You want us to knock off the chatter and get to work. See how fast power corrupts?"
"Actually, I was thinking more in terms of breaking out a bottle of the good wine and toasting our new names and careers."
"And friendship!" Abuzar declared, clapping a massive hand on Eisner's shoulder. "You see, Roz? It'll take more than a new name or a new job to change this one. He'll always love his friends and his wine more than he loves work!"
They all laughed, though some laughed louder than others.
INTERVIEW II
"Ulnar Blutman's Moving and Transport?" Erickson asked, as Tambu lapsed into silence.
"Don't get your hopes up, Mr. Erickson." That was not a slip of the tongue betraying my original ship. It was a fabrication, as were the original names of the crewmembers, including my own. There is no--was no Ulnar Blutman. However, I assure you the actual origin of my name was equally inane."
"Well, what's in a name, anyway?" the reporter shrugged, hiding his disappointment.
"I assume you're being flippant, but there is an answer to that question. What's in a name is what one puts in a name. Tambu could have been a brand name for a new soap, but my actions and the legends which grew from them have made the name Tambu a household word of a completely different nature."
"You sound quite proud of yourself," Erickson commented dryly, unable to hide his distaste.
"That's another 'are you still beating your wife' sort of question," Tambu admonished. "But I'll try to answer it anyway. Yes, I am proud of myself. To get where I am today, I have overcome many obstacles and difficulties which would have stopped or crushed a lesser man. That is not boasting, merely stating a fact. I should add, however, that just because I am proud of where I am does not necessarily mean I am proud of everything I did to get here."
"Then you're ashamed of the things you've done?"
"Not ashamed, Mr. Erickson. Just not proud. There are certain events and decisions I regret in hindsight. Perhaps it is a rationalization, but I've never felt this type of regret was a trait unique to me. Surely there are things in your own past you wish you could do over?"
"There are," Erickson admitted.
"Then allow me to give you a bit of advice. Or rather, share a philosophy which has helped me when I find myself preoccupied with past mistakes. When I review a decision which turned out bad, I remember it was just that... BAD. "B"... "A"... "D". Best Available Data. I made the best decision I could, based on the data available, within the time perimeters allowed for the decision. Even though the results may not have gone as I predicted, or as I would have liked, I console myself with the memory of that moment of decision. Given the same situation, the same information, and the same amount of time to reach a decision, I would probably choose the same course of action again."
"That makes sense." The reporter nodded thoughtfully. "Thank you."
"Actually, it's an old accounting expression. But I find it applies readily to other fields as well."
"Getting back to an earlier statement," Erickson pressed, suddenly aware of the interview. "You mentioned having to overcome many difficulties in your career. While it is obvious they would be there, I can only imagine what they must have been. What were some of the specific difficulties you encountered?"