“What passed between you and Kacerie?” she asked.
“I explained already,” I said with a shrug. “I told her that she needed to get her shit together and work with us.”
“Her shit together?” Sheela asked with a shocked expression on her normally stoic face.
“Uhh, sorry. Slang. It means I told her to stop complaining and cooperate.”
“She seemed to be crying,” Sheela commented.
“She’ll get over it,” I said as I took another sip from the jug. The new containers were designed a bit better. They had wide bottoms, with narrow tops that flare out at the mouth. Small loop handles made them appear a bit like beer growlers crossed between those old Greek vases.
“You mean, she will overcome her challenges?” Sheela asked with a slight smile.
“Yep, you are getting my slang better.”
“I try to learn,” she said as she bent down to fill up her water jug again.
It was at the point of the day where twilight gives way to night, and I knew we only had another ten minutes before we needed to get back. Part of me wanted to use the time as an excuse not to talk to her, but I realized this would probably lead to another day of me putting off the conversation, so I took a deep breath and tried to calm my heart. My blood pumping muscle felt like it was using my ribs as a punching bag.
“Sheela,” I said, and the woman’s eyes seemed to glow in the near darkness.
“Yes?” Her voice was a whisper, and I wondered if she knew what I was about to say.
“I have feelings for you,” the words came out of my mouth quickly, and I almost wished I hadn’t said them as soon as I did.
“I know,” she replied, and I felt my breath catch in my throat.
“Uhh. You know?” I asked.
“Yes, Victor. We spoke of this many weeks ago at the lake. I see the way you look at me, and Galmine, and Trel.”
“Okay,” I said, and I immediately felt like an idiot. Why did I just say “okay?” What was wrong with me?
“We should fill up the rest of the jugs,” she said, but she didn’t take a step toward Bob. She was still staring at me, and my heart started to punch in double time. I suddenly had a hypothesis about Sheela, but I realized that if I was wrong, there would be no way I could repair our relationship.
“Are you waiting for my order?” I whispered.
“N-n-no,” she stuttered with a surprised facial expression that I couldn’t remember seeing.
“Go fill up the other jugs,” I said, and she moved past me. I didn’t know why I was that surprised by her compliance as our entire relationship up until this point had pretty much been me telling her what to do. The answers to my problems seemed so obvious, but fear of rejection was still tying my stomach up in knots.
Sheela went about the work of filling up the other jugs with her usual intense focus. I walked through the shin-deep water so that I could attach the jug to the saddle, and then I took each one she filled out of her hands so I could attach them. After a few minutes, they were all filled, but our parasaurs were still drinking.
“Let’s climb back up,” I said as I jumped back into the saddle. Sheela was in her seat instantly, but I turned around to face her before she could wrap her arms around my stomach.
“Tell me how you feel about me,” I said.
“What do you mean?” she asked, and I saw her bite her lip slightly.
“You know I find you incredibly attractive. You are smart, brave, honorable, and generous. You never quit, and I cherish every second we spend together. I have a feeling you already knew this, but I wanted to say it out loud so that you knew it for sure.”
“Victor,” she whispered sadly. “I am married.”
“I didn’t ask about it,” I said. “I feel like you are using that as a shield to keep me away, but you also follow my orders, so now I am ordering you to tell me what you feel for me.”
“Oh?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. “You believe you can order me to tell you what is inside my heart?”
I felt my stomach somersault a few dozen times, and I tried to think of a way I could backpedal. I’d messed up, and Sheela had called my bluff. Of course, I couldn’t just demand that she tell me how she feels about me, could I?
“I just did,” I said with way more confidence than I actually felt. I almost wanted to tell her that the answer didn’t matter, or that she didn’t really have to do it, or that I’d be happy with her decision.
But the reality was that none of those were true. I wanted Sheela. I’d wanted her the second I saw her attack the giant croc that tried to eat me. Her slight Australian accent drove me crazy, her stoic mindset made me respect her, and her unbreakable will made me a stronger person. When we first met, she seemed the Yin to my Yang, but now I realized we weren’t opposites, we really just completed each other.
“I feel for you the same way you feel for me,” she whispered as she cast her eyes downward. “My admission does not help our relationship, though. My society takes marriage very seriously, and I cannot abandon my--”
“I’ll fight him,” I said. “You said you can remarry if your next husband battles your former?”
“Victor,” she said my name with a sigh. “He cannot battle you since we are on different worlds. Even if you could, he would kill you in a few seconds. Your battle prowess has amazed me, but he is nearly three feet taller than you and outweighs you by perhaps two hundred pounds.”
“I don’t care,” I said. “I’d fight him to have you. I don’t want you to feel this sadness anymore. I want to love you, and I want you to be able to return my love.”
“Victor…” her voice trailed off as she finally looked up at me. Our eyes met, and we held each other’s gaze for what felt like forever.
I wanted to keep talking, I wanted to try to convince her that she needed to be with me, but I’d already made my sales pitch, and I didn’t know what else I could say to convince her that I wanted to be with her.
“Your words have given me pause,” she whispered as she looked away from me again. “I need time to sort through the conflict inside of my chest.”
“Can you help me understand the conflict?” I asked. “I can understand you feel honor-bound to your marriage, but you admitted you would not want to return home. From what you said, your husband didn’t love you, and you--”
“I misspoke the other day,” she said. “I was upset because of--”
“You can come back with me,” I interrupted her. “If we somehow find a way back, you can return to my world and be my wife.”
“You are speaking nonsense,” she said, but her lips turned upward into a ghost of a smile.
“It isn’t nonsense,” I said. “I don’t want to be without you. Not even for a day.”
“I would not fit in your world,” she said as she gestured to the thin coat of soft fur on her body. “Just as you would not fit in on my world.”
“So?” I asked. “You look close enough. You could wear clothes that cover your skin, then you would pass. Sure you might get a few strange looks, but I don’t care. I--”
“And what of Trel and Galmine?” she asked. “Would you bring them with you back to your world?”
“I love them also,” I said with a shrug. “Galmine might enjoy my world, but it is socially harsher than hers. Trel wants children, and I can’t give them to her.”
“You seem to be trying, though,” Sheela said.
“I doubt it will happen,” I said. “Different species and all that.”
“I see,” she said as she frowned. “Then you and I will not have children.”
“Do you want children?” I asked, and I realized the conversation had suddenly accelerated in a direction I hadn’t intended.
“I want love,” she whispered. “It is foolish for me to say, since most women of my world do not receive it from their husbands, but that is what my heart wants. The heart is greedy though. As soon as I have love, I will want children.”