I said, "Was it-" caught myself and rephrased. "How bad was it?" I said.
She didn't say anything. She kept her eyes down and shook her head again.
I got up and walked around the desk. I stood close to her without touching her.
"It won't be bad anymore," I said. She nodded.
"You're with me," I said. "You're safe." Nothing. Not even a nod.
"We have known each other for four years," I said. "I don't know if we ever actually liked each other, but we've known each other long enough to start."
More nothing.
"You want to see your parents?" I said. She shook her head.
"You want to see Mrs. Silverman?"
Shrug. Shrug? Christ, a shrug was eloquent. I was on a roll.
"Okay, this evening we'll see Mrs. Silverman. You staying anyplace?"
She shook her head.
"Okay," I said. "You can stay with me." She nodded.
"As a guest," I said, "your own room. No professional responsibilities."
She shrugged. The little chatterbox.
"Are there clothes or anything we should pick up?"
She shook her head.
"That's it? One overnight bag?" She nodded.
"Okay," I said. "Then we'll go have a little lunch, maybe take a walk along the river and plan our next step."
She made no movement.
"There is a next step, kiddo," I said. Her shoulders hunched slightly. "And we'll plan it together."
Her shoulders hunched more and began to shake. Her breath came shorter and shorter and she was crying. I put my hands on her shoulders. She shrank in toward herself and pulled away without moving. I left my hands on her shoulders.
"You're all right now," I said. "You're with me, and you can stay with me as long as you want to."
The sobbing got louder and faster. I patted her shoulders where my hands rested.
"It won't happen to you again," I said.
"Whatever it was, it won't happen again. I won't let it happen again."
She leaned her head forward against my chest and cried some more. I patted her shoulder some more. Then she suddenly lunged against me and pressed against me as hard as she could and put both arms around me and hugged as hard as she could. I shifted my hands from her shoulders and put my arms around her and held her firmly against me. She shook hard, her teeth chattering as she cried and her crying muffled as she pressed her face to my chest.
We stood that way for maybe ten minutes. until the crying started to subside. It seemed more as if she wore out than as if she got control. Finally we were still, standing pressed together awkwardly, with the overnight bag clumsily on the floor between our feet. We stood maybe three or four more minutes like that, in perfect silence. Then she leaned slightly back from me without letting go and took a breath. And another and slowly her breathing began to regulate. She looked up at me for the first time. Her eyes were swollen and her nose ran.
"I'm sorry," she said. Her arms were still around me. Mine were lightly around her.
I nodded. "If you didn't want lunch," I said, "a simple no would have sufficed."
She made her lips smile, but it was simple politeness. Nothing seemed funny to her yet. "There's a washbasin in the bathroom there," I said. "Go in and wash your face. Cold water is good. Then we'll consider lunch again."
"And then a walk," she said, "along the river?"
"Un huh."
"And…"
I shook my head. "We've planned far enough ahead. One step at a time, cookie." She nodded and went in the bathroom. The water ran and I heard her splashing it on her face.
So far so good.