He tensed and then vibrated inside her as he came too, in long, wrenching shudders inside her. When she could once again see, she watched his face, contracted in near-pain, a low guttural sound coming from deep within him. He was incredibly beautiful and triumphant, feminine joy overcame her that she could do that to him, make him feel so much.
“Holy Christ,” he said long moments later. He withdrew from her slowly, carefully, then slid off the bed to go to the bathroom and get rid of the condom. Tara lay there panting, heart still racing, wet panties twisted. Her breasts heaved and quivered in the lacy cups of the bra she still wore.
What had just happened? That wasn’t sex, it was an earthquake rocking the nearby San Andreas fault.
She blew out a breath, trying to get control back, limp and blissful. When Joe came back, she watched him cross the room on long legs with thickly muscled thighs, admiring his narrow hips and waist with those rippling abs and impossibly wide shoulders. Not to mention his impossibly thick penis, still partially hard.
“You okay?” he asked, sliding down beside her, resting his head on his hand, elbow bent, and pressing one hand to her abdomen. “That was intense.”
“Yeah. I’m okay. I think.”
The warm weight of his hand on her tummy was reassuring, tender. It made things soften inside her even more. She closed her eyes against the sensations and emotions assaulting her, gulping for air.
“Did you bring lots of condoms this time?” she whispered.
He choked on a laugh. “Like you wouldn’t believe, baby.”
She sighed and snuggled closer. “I did too.”
He laughed again. “Tell me now,” he said softly, his hand still moving in slow circles on her stomach. “Why did you join Le Château?”
She sighed, closing her eyes against the warm intensity in his. “I wanted…something. More than just sex. I’d been having dreams about…domination. Holding someone down, making them totally surrender to me, making them do whatever I wanted.” She peeked at him.
He lifted a brow.
“I wanted to explore that. I felt like something was missing from my life. I-I’ve had relationships, but…the last guy I went out with broke up with me because…” She swallowed. “He said I made him feel I was cutting off his balls. Emasculating him.”
Joe snorted and she lifted her eyes back to his.
“He obviously wasn’t man enough for you.”
She fought the smile tugging her lips. “And you are.”
“Hell yeah.” He frowned, his hand still petting her tummy in gentle, reassuring circles that made her tingle as they edged lower. “So you thought you needed to dominate someone.”
“Yes. I found a place where I could go and be in control and men would love it.”
“And did you love it?”
She lowered her gaze again, her chest tightening. “I…”
“Honesty, Tara.”
“I…I didn’t love it. But that’s just because…I was new to it.”
He looked at her still, saying nothing, and she wanted to squirm away from him and those see-inside-her eyes, inside her to things she didn’t want him to see.
He lowered his head to the pillow and reached for her, circling her with his arms in a protective embrace. Thankfully it didn’t seem he was going to try to convince her yet again that what she really wanted was to submit. Perhaps he had finally accepted her for who she said she was.
Chapter Eighteen
She awoke to sensation—dark, erotic, electric—her body stretched out on the bed, hands above her head. She sank into the touch of hands, hard but gentle, and Joe’s mouth, warm but greedy, as he kissed and nibbled and sucked.
When she tried to reach for him, hardness bit into her wrists. What the…she jerked her wrists. But to no avail. Her eyes flew open. Her hands were bound by leather cuffs to the headboard behind her. The lamp beside the bed cast a golden glow over the bed, where Joe lay beside her stroking her, kissing her, setting every nerve ending aflame. His dark hair gleamed in the lamplight, his olive skin satiny smooth over big muscles.
“What are you doing?” she demanded through a tight, dry throat. “Untie me!”
He lifted his head from where he pressed a kiss to her belly and slanted her a wicked smile. “No.”
“Joe!”
Fear sizzled over her body and she yanked at the restraints again, craning her neck on the pillow to look at them. She could not let him do this to her. The idea that he could do anything he wanted to her sent adrenaline surging through her and, oh dear lord, a rush of liquid heat in her pussy.
This could not turn her on. It could not. She was not going to submit like this.
“Tara. Just let go. You can’t fight it, so just…feel it. It’ll feel so good, baby.”
“Oh for…” Her eyes burned and she blinked back tears of frustration. This was exactly why she hadn’t wanted to go to Le Château—the fear that he was going to do something like this, something to force her to do things she didn’t want to do, to see things she didn’t want to see.
Joe cupped her pussy with one big hand. “You’re pulsing here,” he murmured. “And…you’re wet. So wet. You tell me you don’t want this, but your body is telling me different, Tara.”
“I’m not!” She choked on a sob, fighting for control.
“You can be punished for lying,” he said. “You know I’ll do it.”
“Oh God.” Her stomach swooped.
“You know I can show you things. You know you want this.”
She closed her eyes against that mesmerizing heat in his gaze.
“What’s your safe word, Tara?”
“I…I don’t know.”
“We need a safe word. You have to feel safe.”
“I’m tied up! How can I feel safe?”
“Olives,” he decided, lips quirking. “You know how it works, right?”
She pressed her lips together and glared at him.
“Trust me,” he murmured. “Trust me to know what you need. I’m responsible for you—not just your pleasure, but your safety.”
She went still. “Responsible?” she whispered.
“Yeah.”
“I haven’t heard that word used. I’ve heard control, domination, power. But not…responsibility.”
“That’s how I feel.” He ran his hands up the sensitive insides of her arms and covered her bound wrists. “I take that responsibility seriously—I’m the one who’s responsible for giving you pleasure. For knowing how far to take you, for knowing when to stop. Responsible for knowing the technical skills, so I can use those toys without harming you when we do. And it’s a sub’s responsibility to be honest.”
Her gaze fastened on his as he talked. “I’m not a sub.”
His mouth went firm and he slowly shook his head. “Let go, Tara. Let it take over you. Find out what it feels like to give yourself over to it. And be honest when you’re telling me what you’re feeling.” He kissed her mouth while he tickled his way back down her arms, lingering in the thin-skinned bends of her elbows. “Use the safe word if you’re in unbearable physical pain. Not just because you’re being stubborn. So be honest—with yourself and with me.”
She blew out a frustrated breath.
“Honesty is important, but I know it’s not easy, especially at first. Especially if you don’t know what you really want. But that will come, as you learn more about yourself.”
How did he know she wasn’t sure what she really wanted? She’d had the dreams, the dark fantasies of bondage and pain, and yet she wasn’t sure how to make those fantasies come true. So far the things she’d done hadn’t been all that fulfilling.
“This is insane,” she said, almost crying, her wrists burning as she fought against the leather cuffs.