Need for her whipped through him, wrenching at his muscles. His head spun, his skin tingled everywhere, pressure built at the base of his spine, his balls tightened. And then he came violently, sensation exploding through his nerves, racing over his body. He slammed into her, holding himself against her soft pussy as he poured into her, coming in long, hard spurts of ecstasy.
Chapter Nineteen
They slept the rest of the night in each other’s arms until Joe felt Tara roll away from him as dawn brightened the edges of the window around the shades. She slid out of bed and disappeared into the bathroom.
He waited for her, thinking about what he wanted to do to her next. Or what he wanted her to do to him. Now that they’d broken down that barrier, he could take her further—his mind wandered away with thoughts that made him hard.
She emerged from the bathroom and began to dress.
“What are you doing, Tara?” He lifted his head and propped it on a hand.
“Getting dressed.” Her back was to him and he didn’t like the stiff line of her spine.
“Come back to bed.”
“No.” She dragged a shirt over her head. “I’m leaving.”
“The hell you are.” He threw back the covers and surged out of bed. He strode across the room to her, and laid his hands on her shoulders, turning her to face him. “What’s going on?”
Her eyes sparked fire at him, her mouth pressed in a pissed-off line. “I can’t believe you did that to me.”
“Did what?” What was she talking about? The anal sex? The flogging? The cuffs? What?
“All of that!” She shrugged his hands off and moved away. “You knew I didn’t want that and you did it anyway. I’m not like that. I don’t want to be tied up and used, I don’t want to…to…”
Ah fuck. He’d thought they were past that.
“Tara. You’re doing it again.”
“Doing what!” Her voice rose.
“Lying to yourself.”
“I’m not lying to myself! Maybe you’re the one who’s deluded! Did you ever think you might be wrong about me?”
She faced him, indignation pouring off her, hands clenched at her sides.
“I know what I saw in your eyes,” he said quietly. “I saw it, Tara. And you never once said the safe word. If you wanted me to stop, you could have said it any time. You are lying to yourself if you’re saying you didn’t like everything I did to you.” He crowded closer. “Everything. The beads in your ass.” He bent his face to hers, nearly nose to nose. “Your wrists in cuffs. Being flogged until you came.” Now he did rub his nose along the side of hers. “You can’t deny it.”
She stood there, saying nothing, her eyes flickering as she thought.
“I told you last night,” he murmured. “You need to face your fears. You need to be brave enough to do that. I thought you were brave enough. But if you can’t—then you’re a coward.”
“I am not a coward!” She stepped back from him, hands clenched, body rigid. But she didn’t meet his eyes.
He swallowed a sigh. “You submitted last night, so beautifully. It was truly beautiful, Tara.” He lifted a hand to cup her jaw. She blinked at him. “I just wish you’d trust me enough to give yourself to me completely.”
“I can’t give myself to you! I can’t do it, Joe. I just can’t. Don’t you know what I’d be giving up?”
He regarded her thoughtfully. “I do know. I know exactly. But I also know what you’d be getting in return. And if you can’t see that, then there’s not much hope. I’m not the enemy here, Tara.”
“Yes you are!”
He shook his head, still standing there buck-naked, uncaring. “No I’m not. You’re your own enemy. You need to face yourself.”
“I have. And I don’t want this. I want control.”
“Tara, haven’t I made it clear? This isn’t about me controlling you. It’s about controlling myself. Controlling myself so I can give you what you want…what you need. You’re the one with the power.”
“You’re talking complete bullshit,” she bit out, turning away again.
He came to a rapid decision. “Tara. Listen to me.”
“Don’t give me orders!”
A low growl vibrated in his throat. “I want to tell you something. Something important. Will you please sit down for a minute?”
She sighed. “Fine.” She sat in the arm chair, rather than on the bed.
“You think I’m the enemy why?”
“Because…”
“Honesty,” he reminded her tersely.
She paused. “Because you’re making me lose control.”
He studied her, her narrowed eyes looking at the floor, not at him. Her fingers twisted in her lap. “I can’t give up control,” she whispered. “It’s all I have. I’ve worked my whole life to take over the business and you’re taking that away from me.”
He blew out a breath. “I told you before, Tara. I’m not trying to take anything away from you.” He inhaled deeply, let it out slowly. “Let me tell you something.” Now he paused, his gut clenching. He searched for words. “Let me tell you why I came to Santa Barbara.”
She lifted her big amber eyes, darkened to a smoky topaz, and looked at him.
“I used to work for a company called NCC Technologies. You may have heard the name.”
Her forehead creased and she nodded. NCC had been all over the news a year ago, so he wasn’t surprised she’d heard of them.
“They manufacture some very popular OTC and prescription medications. They have a large research and development department. They’ve developed some drugs with huge promise for treating several types of cancer. I worked there for five years.”
He grabbed for his boxers, stepped into them, then sat on the bed. He put his elbows on his knees and leaned forward.
“I loved working there and I was doing well, getting promoted. I was ambitious and intended to work my way up to VP. Maybe higher eventually. And I was on a fast track. They liked me there. When I did some good things in operations, they decided I should have cross training, so they moved me to finance. I really liked that.”
She smiled faintly.
“Yeah, you know I like numbers. Anyway, I started seeing some things that made me worry. Things like apparent loans the VP and CFO were taking out. But they were manipulating the loan program so they didn’t pay any interest. At first, I just figured there was something I was missing and everything was okay. Then one day I couldn’t ignore it anymore. So I went to my boss, the director of finance, and told him what I was seeing.”
He paused. “He heard me out, told me he’d look into it and sent me away. So I kept working hard. But nothing happened. I was still seeing stuff that didn’t look right, so I went back to him, asked what he’d done about it. He talked a whole lot, kind of indirectly warned me about being too inquisitive and again showed me the door.
“Then I was really suspicious and I actually started looking for stuff. And holy shit, did I find it.” He shook his head. “It was sickening. They were taking all that money and I knew what they were doing with it. Les Swenarchuk had had a big party at his home one night. He lived in an unbelievable mansion and was always taking off on trips to Bermuda or Italy. None of those loans were being repaid, plus they were giving themselves bonuses nobody else knew about. It was millions of dollars. I felt sick.”
“Whistleblowers usually end up screwed, despite everything that’s happened in the business world,” she said in a near whisper. “Did you do it? Did you blow the whistle on them? Is that why you got fired?”
He shook his head again. “No. I never had a chance to blow the whistle. I got fired before that.”
“But…why? Did they know you were going to?”