Bound and helpless, euphoric with pain, she felt free. Free to just feel. Free to feel the amazing heights she flew to, free and secure enough with herself to admit she didn’t want to do it all on her own. That submitting to Joe meant strength, not selling out. That by admitting she wanted him, needed him, she wasn’t betraying her true self—it was her true self. Tara felt connected with herself in a way she never had before, connected with an inner part of herself she had been denying for so long.
Her thoughts all came together with crystal clarity and for the first time she recognized the truth in what Joe had tried to tell her—by submitting to him, she had power over him.
Submission was truly freedom and love and—she realized with awe—power.
She had no idea how long she floated on a euphoric shimmer, lost in her wandering thoughts and feelings, until Joe returned. Hands unfastened her wrists and ankles, turned her. Her head fell back against the cross and Joe rubbed her wrists, lifted them to his mouth and kissed them tenderly. He laid his hands on her aching shoulders, warm and heavy, massaging tense muscles with bone-melting strokes.
“Are you okay?” he whispered.
“Yes.” And she was. She felt safe, loved, certain he would take care of her. She opened her eyes and sought his. Was he okay though? “Where did you go? Why did you leave me?”
“Christ, Tara.” He lifted her in his arms and carried her to the pallet on the floor, then laid her gently on the mattress. “I had to leave, I was losing control.” He shook his head, his mouth a grim line. “Nobody’s ever got me that close to the edge before.”
He lay down beside her and wrapped her in his arms. She started to shiver and he rolled to his feet, unfolded the soft blanket lying on the pallet and covered her gently with it. He stripped off his clothes, climbed under the blanket with her and enveloped her in his body heat, hands stroking and warming and comforting her.
“Easy,” he whispered, pressing his mouth to her hair. “I’ve got you. It’s okay, Tara. It’s okay.” She sank into his embrace, absorbing his heat and his touch and his words until her trembling eased and her body became warm and pliant.
He rolled her under him and eased himself up onto his elbows to gaze down at her. The respect and reverence and appreciation in his eyes had her lungs seizing up, heat suffusing her body. She could not look away from him.
He smoothed her hair off her face, palmed her cheeks, then kissed her mouth in a slow kiss full of worship and longing. She poured it all back into him, her mouth moving against his, unable to get enough of him, unable to give enough to him. Her hands gripped his shoulders, so solid, so strong.
“I love you, Tara,” he said, voice deep and throaty. “Know that.”
“I know it.” She gazed back at him, a connection so powerful she felt it stretching between them, drawing them together. “I know it. And I love you too.”
Then he was inside her, filling her, stretching her, completing her. She tingled and ached, arching under him to meet his strokes, their eyes locked.
She clung to his shoulders as he surged inside her, the tingling intensifying into electricity, shimmering hot and swelling larger and larger, sliding over her body, weakening her limbs, tightening her womb until she came around him, her body clenching hard on his thick cock inside her. She cried out as she dug her fingers into the heavy muscles of his shoulders.
“Yeah,” he groaned. “Oh yeah, baby, squeeze me like that. Christ. Oh Christ, Tara.” And his body tensed against her, his face tightened into a near-grimace as he poured himself into her. She felt each pulse inside her, the white-hot heat of him without a condom. She should be upset about that, but she wasn’t—because she trusted him.
Their bodies slid together, slick with sweat, limp and panting for long moments, clutching each other as if they never wanted to let go. And Tara knew her world had changed. Irrevocably. Forever. For better.
“Do you want to talk here?” he murmured in her ear a long time later. “Or go somewhere else?”
“We have to talk?”
He tapped her butt and she smiled against his chest. Realization of the power she too held over him through her submission sent a thrill chasing up her spine. It was fun to push his buttons too, exciting to learn how far he’d let her go and what he’d do to her if she pushed too far.
She was absurdly glad she’d pleased him, insanely proud of herself for submitting so totally.
“I would like to go to the ranch,” she said softly. “But there’s so much we need to talk about…”
“Yeah. We’ll go there. But first let’s get a few things out in the open.”
She nodded and he helped her to sit. She wrapped the blanket around her and he sat naked on the mattress. Emotion surged inside him as he looked at her, hair all tousled, lips swollen, her eyes sweetly submissive, her gaze fastened intently on him.
“I’ve heard of Domspace, but I’ve never experienced it like that,” he said, shaking his head, still shocked and confused by the intensity of emotion that had overcome him while he’d been dominating Tara. Every sense had become hyperalert—he’d smelled her arousal mingled with the scent of melting beeswax, heard every cry and moan and breath she uttered, Christ, he’d thought he could hear her heartbeat. He’d felt every impact of the paddle as if it was on himself, knew exactly how hard and far to push her, read every signal her body gave off as if their minds and senses had merged, an intense and erotic bond. Nothing and no one else had existed for him, and at the point he realized that, he’d set the paddle down and walked out of the room. In the hall outside, he’d leaned against the wall, dragging air into his lungs, trying desperately to figure out what it all meant, trying desperately to regain control.
And that was when he realized why he’d so desperately wanted to tame her.
She’d given him back his self-respect. By submitting to him, by trusting him completely, she’d made him feel like a man again instead of the loser he’d felt when he’d arrived in Santa Barbara, someone viewed as a criminal, treated as a criminal, not worthy of hiring for even entry-level positions. She’d given him the most precious gift of her submission and the power of it had overwhelmed him.
“I’m sorry I left you like that.”
“I knew you’d come back.”
A connection again arced between them.
“Are you taking that job offer?” she asked.
“You heard?
She nodded, watching him.
“I haven’t given them my answer yet.”
“Why not? I thought you had to decide today.”
“That’s what they wanted. But I had to talk to you first.”
“Me? Why?”
His eyes roved over her beautiful face, the smooth line of her bare shoulders, the curves of her breasts visible above the edge of the blanket.
“Because if you really want me to go…I will.”
Her eyes widened.
“I know you think I’m the enemy,” he continued. She opened her mouth to say something and he pressed two fingers to her soft lips. “Wait. I’m ready to leave if you still believe I’m a threat to you running the company. If that’s what you really want…I’ll leave.”
A sharp ache materialized in his chest as he spoke the words to her. But he’d come to realize in those moments of lucidity she meant everything to him. In taming her, in succeeding in the biggest challenge he’d ever had, he’d fallen in love with her. She’d made him feel like a man again, not a loser with a criminal reputation who couldn’t even find a job. The mutual respect and trust they’d built between them had changed him too, and the love he felt for her meant he’d do anything for her.