“Isn’t it what you wanted?” she asked softly. “Going back to San Francisco? You said you never intended to stay here.” A shadow passed across her eyes.
“That was my intention when I got here,” he agreed. “It’s not now. But I’ll leave. If you want me to.”
“I don’t want you to.”
Relief swelled inside him like a balloon. He grinned. “I wanted you to say it. Tell me, Tara.”
“I already told you. I love you. I trust you. I trust with you with everything, Joe. The business is the least important thing I trust you with.”
He nodded.
“Tonight, you set me free,” she continued, fingering the blanket. “I realized so many things.”
“Like…?”
“I need you. I want you to help me run the company. You know so much about things I don’t…everyone likes you and respects you.”
“They respect you too, Tara.”
“I suppose.” Her eyes cast down. “But…I think I haven’t made it easy for them to like me. I’ve been so focused on being in charge, on being in control…you’ve helped me let go of that. Loosen up a bit. Last week I felt like I…belonged. That dinner the other night was the first time I felt like I had a place, that I fit in. You made me feel like that.”
She lifted her eyes to him and her words caused an ache in his gut.
“You challenged me in so many ways. Business cases. Rationale and research.” The corners of her mouth lifted. “But it’s not just about the business. I need you in so many ways. You called me a coward because I was running from myself. And you were right.”
“Don’t make me have to tell you that again,” he growled. “Or I’ll paddle that pretty pink ass again.”
Her cheeks flushed.
“Tara, the truth is, you’ve not only surrendered to me, you’ve conquered me,” he said on a sigh. He ran a hand through his hair. “I’ve never met a woman who challenged me in so many ways. You drove me out of my fucking mind—I had to have you.”
“You have me.”
“You have me too. Christ, Tara. You’ve given me so much.”
Her eyes widened. “I have?”
“You’ve given me your submission. The most precious thing you could give me. And in doing that, you gave me back my confidence. My self-respect.”
She eyed him a little skeptically. “I don’t think there’s been anything wrong with your confidence.”
His laugh turned into a groan. “Oh baby, you have no idea. My self-esteem took a kicking with what happened at NCC.” He sighed. “And now I’m nothing without you. No Dom ever is without a sub. You have power too.”
“I realized that. Tonight. I never knew that by giving in I would feel so powerful. So strong.”
“The truth is, we need each other,” he said, reaching for her hands. “We enable each other to become who we really are. We both have to be willing to surrender.”
“Oh Joe.” Her lower lip quivered.
“I tried so hard to tell you. Thank God you finally experienced it, because the power you have has to be given freely. I can tie you up and hold you down and make you do things you won’t even admit you want—but for you to submit to me completely—body, heart, soul—you have to do it willingly. When we left the ranch last week, I didn’t feel much hope you would ever get it.”
“I’ve been fighting it. I’ve been fighting you.” She paused. “I’m sorry, Joe.”
Her pretty apology tore at something inside him, humbled him. Defiant, difficult Tara apologizing and admitting she’d been wrong made something soft and warm break free inside him, made him feel so powerful and elated.
“I’m going to push your limits, Tara.”
She nodded, a shimmer of fear mingled with her trust in those amber eyes.
“In so many ways. By expanding your limits I’ll be expanding your capabilities and your self-confidence. But I can only do that when you trust me.”
“I trust you.”
“Did you tell your grandfather about my last job?”
“No.”
Another feeling like being grabbed by the throat took hold of him. He nodded, fought to swallow the emotion welling up inside him.
“It didn’t make a difference,” she said. “I know you didn’t do it. And I know you wouldn’t do anything to hurt Santa Ynez Olives.”
“Thank you.” The words scraped out over a throat that felt like sandpaper.
“And did Grandpa talk to you about my business case for high density planting?”
“Yes.”
“What did you tell him?”
He studied her, the curiosity in her eyes untinged with fear or animosity or worry.
“I told him I support it. I think we’d be crazy not to do it. You’ve worked out all the details and it’s a solid plan.”
She blinked at him, her eyes suddenly shiny in the dim blue light. “Thank you. But again—I trusted you would do the best thing for the company. If you said my plan wouldn’t work, it would be justified. And I’d just go back to the drawing board.”
“I would have told you that before you presented it to Tyrone,” he pointed out gruffly and gave a small cough. “I wouldn’t set you up to fail.”
“I knew that too.” Her mouth went soft and her bottom lip quivered. “Oh Joe. I love you so much. Please don’t leave. We can run the company together. I’ll learn from you and…”
“And I’ll learn from you. C’mere.” He opened his arms and she scrambled over into his lap, half-losing the blanket. He held her tightly, pressed his cheek to the top of her head. “I told you before, you’re smart and knowledgeable and intuitive about the business. And you made me feel good about myself again—not like a scummy loser who couldn’t get a job—you made me feel strong again. Just know that we need each other.”
“I won’t let you tell me what to do all the time.”
He grinned. “That’s good.”
Her hand slid from his neck, cupped the back of his head and drew his mouth down to hers, opening for him. He kissed her, one hand on her back, one hand sliding to her ass to bring her closer yet, his mouth moving on hers in a long, lingering kiss. Her lips were velvety and sweet, her tongue gently nudging his as he kissed her over and over again. With a final slow kiss, he lifted his head and smiled down at her.
“We’ll have fun, Tara,” he promised her. “We’ll work hard, but we’ll have fun.”
“We’ll probably fight.”
“No doubt about it,” he agreed happily. “It is fun pushing your buttons. Although I have to say, lately you’ve been a lot less grouchy.”
Her mouth puckered into a reluctant smile. “You softened me up.”
He let a touch of arrogance show. “I knew what you really wanted.”
Then her smile went sly. “But I’m learning about your buttons too.”
Oh yeah, still some spice and spark left there. He’d tamed her, but not broken her, just like he’d wanted, because he still loved the thrill of the challenge, loved her because of that strength and spark.
Chapter Twenty-Three
“That’s perfect,” Sasha said approvingly, watching the little girl tie a shiny ribbon around the bracelet she’d just finished. “Is that going to be for you to wear or is it for someone else?”
“It’s for my sister,” Sarah said. “She just broke up with her boyfriend and she’s been kind of sad, so I made this to help her feel better.”
“That is so sweet,” Sasha said with a smile. “You are such a good sister. I know she’ll love it.”
Her first week on the job and she was back at the center, only this time she belonged. She hadn’t seen Nick yet, but that didn’t matter. She wasn’t there to see him, she was there to work with the kids, and a deep contentment filled her as she helped Sarah trim the edges of the ribbon attractively.