Tanis wasn't sure if that was a joke or not. Luckily, Scowarr didn't explode when the half-elf neglected to laugh.
"We were just a few miles from here," Scowarr went on. "It was yesterday. There must have been three hundred soldiers sitting on a hillside while their commander waited for orders.
" Make them laugh.” he said. 'Now.'
" 'But it's the middle of the afternoon,' I told him. 'It's hot. They're tired. They're in a bad mood. This isn't a good time.'
" They're hot, they're tired, and in a foul mood,' their commander said. 'And that's just why they need a good laugh to keep their spirits up.'
" 'It's not the right time,' I complained again. So he put a knife to my throat… and I told my jokes."
Tanis leaned forward, suffering for the poor, frail soul who sat across the fire from him. "What happened?" he asked, knowing that Scowarr needed to tell it.
Scowarr looked out the cave entrance at the Straits of Algoni. The waves danced in the distance, but Tanis knew the funny man wasn't seeing the beauty of the natural world. He was back in time, suffering humiliation in front of hundreds of soldiers.
"They laughed," Scowarr conceded. "They laughed a lot. I was overjoyed. Such a big audience." His voice began to rise again, and he poked once more at the fire. "Such gales of laughter; it was enough to make you feel like a god. Except they weren't laughing with me, Tanis. After I'd told maybe eight or ten jokes, one of them-one of my own kind! — shot an arrow at me."
Tanis sat up, shocked, against the dank cave wall, and Scowarr hastened to add, "Oh, he didn't intend to hit me with it. And he didn't. But he inspired dozens, then scores, of them to do the same. Can you imagine it?" Scowarr's face glowed hotly with the memory of his fear and shame. "They didn't like my jokes, so they decided to kill me. They thought that was funny!" "How did you get away?" the half-elf asked, astonished at the casual cruelty of the human race. "I dove underneath a nearby wagon. If it hadn't been there, I'm sure they would have murdered me. One good thing came out of it, though," he said, brightening. "What was that?" "I came up with a joke. Do you want to hear it?" he asked. His thin face was dark with wariness. "You sure you want to tell it to me?" "If you promise not to slay me if you don't like it." Tanis nodded. Scowarr sat up. His voice dropped an octave. Tanis could almost see him on a stage somewhere. "Did you hear about the funny man who told the same jokes three days running?" "No," Tanis replied encouragingly. "He wouldn't dare tell them standing still." Tanis smiled. 'That's good," the half-elf said kindly. Scowarr, obviously frustrated, ran one hand through his short, tufted, light brown hair. Close-shorn hair was rare among humans, except for children and some warriors. Tanis could almost believe Scowarr favored the style because it would bring an immediate smile to people's lips. Then again, maybe he cut it himself. The human's face showed anything but a smile now, though. "What do you mean, That's good'? You didn't laugh!" "But I can see that it's funny," Tanis protested. "You have to feel that it's funny, not see that it's funny." Scowarr turned back toward the sea, reminding Tanis suddenly of an out-of-temper sparrow with its feathers in a fluff. Despite himself, Tanis was beginning to like Scowarr. He was about to say so when a wave broke high against the seacliff wall and sent salty spray into the cave. The campfire sizzled. Another wave brought a small flood sloshing across the floor, washing out the fire. In an instant, Tanis and Scowarr were up on their feet, the water at ankle depth. 'The tide is rising," said Tanis, venturing near the cave mouth and looking out into the strait. "We have to get out of here."
That's when he spotted a ship anchored just down the coast in the harbor of the elven village. Small fishing vessels, lying heavy in the water, ferried boatloads of citizens to the waiting ship.
'They're evacuating," Tanis said sadly. 'The humans must be massing a huge army to make elves flee their homes."
Scowarr joined the half-elf at the cave mouth. The human was a full head shorter than he'. "Yes," Scowarr said, "that skirmish you were involved in was only the beginning of the battle. The humans want all the land north of Qualinesti, and they make no secret about their wish to either drive the elves south or into the sea. And they've just about done it, too."
Another wave broke high on the cliff and covered them with green foam. Scowarr, thin clothes clinging to his spare frame, shivered.
Tanis feared that the tunnels might flood before the two could get to higher ground. There were only two choices. One was to jump out of the cave and swim to safety. The rising tide was pounding against the side of the cliff, however; one unlucky move and the pair could be crushed or drowned. The other possibility was somehow to climb the sheer cliff face to the top. The obvious problem with that choice, Tanis thought, leaning carefully out the cave mouth, was that it looked all but impossible. But not thoroughly impossible…
"Can you climb?" asked Tanis.
Scowarr recklessly stuck his head out of the cave and looked up. Tanis lunged for a fistful of the human's shirt to keep him from tumbling into the sea and hauled the man back in. Scowarr appeared unaware of his close call, although his eyes were round with Tanis's suggested escape route. "Now I know why you don't laugh at my jokes," Scowarr said. "You're mad."
"It's not as far as it looks. Maybe thirty feet," said Tanis. "Besides, there are tree roots sticking out of the rock face," he added. "We can use them for handholds."
"You go first," insisted the funny man.
It hadn't occurred to Tanis to do anything except go first, so he carefully dug his foot into the rock ledge at the side of the cave mouth and began to climb. He found a crevice for his right foot, a small outcropping to grab with his left hand, then a bush growing out of the rock face in which to steady his left foot, then another crevice for his right hand, and so it went until he was halfway to the top. The sea continued to rise, the deadly waves beating against the cliff until Tanis feared for the safety of the man waiting below.
'The water is up to my waist!" cried Scowarr, his voice drifting up to Tanis on the surf-soaked wind. "I'm coming! Don't fall, or youH knock me in, too!"
"At least he's managed that announcement without telling a joke," Tanis muttered.
"… which could certainly put a damper on things!" the human sang triumphantly.
Tanis stifled a groan.
The half-elf continued to climb, his hands cut from grabbing the sharp-edged rocks, the blood mixing with his sweat to make everything he touched slick and slippery. Still, he worked his way closer to the top, hand over hand, foot over foot, edging toward safety. He settled his left foot on a tree root. His right foot rested on a protruding rock. He held on to a fossilized piece of driftwood with his left hand, and then reached for a grayish bush with dying flowers with his right.
The bush didn't hold.
The plant came out of the sea cliff wall in a rush of broken clods of rock, dirt, and rotten roots. The dirt flew in Tanis's face. He lost his balance, and both feet slipped off their moorings…
7
"No!" shouted Scowann fromм below as the tiny avalanche reached him, pelting him with stones and a shower of dirt. Luckily, the bush itself didn't hit him. And neither did Tanis, who clung to the fossilized driftwood with one hand while desperately trying to reclaim his toeholds. "Hang on!" Tanis's heart leaped with hope; the new voice came from the top of the cliff! "I don't have a rope," the female voice, pitched low, volunteered, "but I have something else. Pleasel Hang on!"
Tanis's arm felt as if it were going to rip right out of the socket. If only he could find some halfway solid footing. But the more he struggled to find a place for his feet, the greater was the strain on his arm.