“Thirty or forty or fifty!”
“Life is hard for a maradóon,” Amanullah said. “There is a labor shortage.”
“No wonder.”
“Ah. If you will permit a delicate question, had this Phaedra considerable experience before she was brought here?”
I burned my mouth on my coffee. I barely felt the pain. I remembered a taxi racing through garbage-laden streets, a head on my shoulder, a voice at my ear. I have things to tell you. I am Phaedra Harrow. I am eighteen years old. I am a virgin. I’m not anti-sex or frigid or a lesbian or anything. And I don’t want to be seduced or talked into it. People try all the time but it’s not what I want. Not now. I want to see the whole world. I want to find things out. I want to grow. I am a virgin. I am Phaedra Harrow. I am a virgin. I am eighteen years old. I am a virgin. I am a virgin. I am –
“-a virgin,” I said.
“Eh?”
“She is eighteen years old,” I said. “She was never with a man in all her life.”
“Extraordinary!”
“A virgin.”
“Eighteen years without knowing a man!”
“Yes.”
“And the likeness you showed me – she is a beauty, is it not so?”
“It may not be so now,” I said. “It was so then. A beauty.” I thought for a moment. “A beautiful face and body, and a beautiful spirit, my friend Amanullah.”
“It is rare, this beauty of the spirit.”
“Yes.”
“Beauty and purity.”
“Yes.”
“You go to find her,” he sobbed. “You take my car. My driver returns in a week’s time and he drives you to look for her, to search for her.”
“Search?”
“Ah, there are four houses where she might be, kâzzih. Four houses scattered far apart in the vastness of Afghanistan. And I do not know to which house I sold which girls.”
“Oh.”
“But my driver returns in a week, and he and my car are at your disposal.”
“A week,” I said.
“And until then my house is your house and my refrigerator is your refrigerator.”
“A week is a long time,” I said. A week in Kabul, I thought, could turn out to be an exceedingly long time. That meant I wouldn’t get out of the city until the 21st of the month, and the coup was scheduled for the 25th, which meant the city would be in Russian hands before I got back to it. And I would have to get back to it if I had Amanullah’s car and driver along. And-
“-an excellent driver,” he was saying. “A Pakistani, and when his mother lay on her deathbed, of course I told him to go to her. In a week’s time he flies home from Karachi.”
“He flies?”
“We have an airport in Kabul. It is most modern.”
“Then the car is here.”
“Of course.”
“I could take it myself.”
He stared at me. “You do not mean to say that you are familiar with automobiles?”
“Why, yes, I am.”
“You know how to drive them?”
“Certainly.”
“It is extraordinary. To think that you are able to drive automobiles. Quite extraordinary.”
“Well,” I said.
“Then there is no question,” said Amanullah. “You leave in the morning. Now we drink beer.”
Chapter 10
After Amanullah turned in for the night, I sat around for a couple of hours drinking fresh coffee and trying to read a local newspaper. I didn’t do very well at it. An hour or so before dawn I wandered out to his garden and browsed around out there. I had suspected that a man oriented as was Amanullah would grow nothing that he couldn’t eat, but I turned out to be completely wrong. The moonlight was bright enough for me to make out bed after bed of rather spectacular flowers. Some were easy enough to identify, even for a New Yorker. Others were unlike anything I had ever seen in the states.
He certainly did well for himself, I thought. The house was modern and well appointed, the garden obviously received at least one employee’s full-time attention. In the Café of the Four Sisters I had not thought of him as a particularly wealthy man, but it seemed evident that he went there because he liked the cooking. Slave trading seemed highly profitable. Arthur Hook had said that he received a thousand pounds apiece for the girls, and there was no reason to doubt the figure. If Amanullah paid that sort of money, he would be likely to ask at least double that figure from the houses of maradóosh.
(This bit with the Afghan words isn’t entirely to impress you with my erudition. If I wanted to do that I’d pick a language that I was better at. But maradóon is hard to translate into English. It doesn’t exactly mean whore, nor does it exactly mean slave. Sort of a combination of the two, with overtones of sluttish abandon. And as for kâzzih, I offer that in Afghan because I have no idea what the English for it might be. Everybody says it, but it’s not in any of the dictionaries – not that there are that many English-Pushtu dictionaries to begin with. Kâzzih seems to be something one says to people for whom one has at least a moderately favorable regard. It is applied indiscriminately to males and females with no change in pronunciation. I do not know whether or not you address an elder as kâzzih; I rather think not, but I’d hate to bet money one way or the other. It might mean dear little friend, or it might mean fella, or it might mean trusted comrade. Then again, it might just as easily mean motherfucker. Work it all out for yourself, kâzzih.)
Well. I wandered around his garden, meditating upon the inhumanity of man to man and vice versa, and contemplating the possible profits in white slavery, and trying to think of rhymes for maradóosh and Kâzzih, and trying, in short, everything I knew of that would keep my mind off Phaedra. Nothing worked particularly well. Aside from Minna, who was really too young to count, Phaedra Harrow had been the only virgin I knew. And the thought of that frightened little child of nature being enjoyed and abused by thirty or forty or fifty men a day-
She had to be dead, I thought. Death before dishonor – no doubt that had been her credo, and my heart tore at the picture of her fighting valiantly to preserve her chastity until first that and then her very life was torn away from her.
A dreadful picture.
And yet, I thought, it was no worse than the picture of her surviving the initial assault. Because if she had to take on thirty or forty or fifty men a day, then it still amounted to the same thing. Either way she was doomed to get herself screwed to death. It was only a question of time; it might take a night or it might take a year, but the outcome, God help her, seemed preordained.
I stretched out in dewy grass. I had been on my feet for what seemed rather like forever, and it was time to let the muscles roll out and the brain go blank. The muscles weren’t that much trouble. They rarely are. You take one part of your body at a time and tighten it as hard as you can, and then you let it relax all the way. You sort of work your way around your body until everything is limp, and when you tune in on yourself you can feel your muscles sort of pulsing with the coolness of it all. Some of the less voluntary muscles in the eyes and inside the head are the most common trouble spots, but if you get the technique down pat you can develop more than the usual amount of control over those muscles. This won’t let you show off at parties, since the whole process is invisible, but it does mean that you can get rid of most headaches just by rearranging your head. It’s easier than swallowing all that aspirin.
Blanking the mind was something else again. My mind was all knotted up and I couldn’t get it to let go and relax. I found myself wondering if maybe someday I shouldn’t try getting into the whole process a little deeper. Pay a visit to one of the Indian ashrams and let some guru teach me the higher path to meditation upon the verities of the cosmos. I could even take Phaedra along, for that matter. Her name, after all, had originally been Deborah Horowitz.