I have to admit that, abstractly, I thought she was making a pretty solid argument for herself, and had some good points. It was the fact that my name kept creeping in that bothered me: I really did like Doris (and even loved her), and treasured Gail; that my lover's teenage daughter wanted a physical relationship with me didn't sit well.
Though she'd never gone to college or anything, I knew that Doris was far from stupid. When I looked over at her after Gail had her say, I could tell that she hadn't expected to have things turned around on her: instead of her giving counsel to Gail, her daughter had handed her several things to think about.
Doris looked at ME, and as much as I hated it, all I could do was shrug – Gail wasn't MY daughter, after all. Using just hand gestures, I got Doris to understand that I'd talk with her about it without Gail present. Looking relieved at not having to respond to Gail right away, Doris told her "Okay, honey, you've told us what's bothering you… what you want, and why you think it should be allowed. I'm sure you can understand that I'd like some time to think about it before I decide anything."
When Gail raised her head, I knew that she understood that her mother and I wanted to talk alone. Mustering what dignity and composure she had left, she wished both of us a good night before going back to her bedroom.
I don't know how much time passed before I head Doris' resigned "Well, fuck."
With the silence broken, I told Doris "Before either of us says anything else, I want to make it as clear as I can right up front that I do NOT have any designs on your daughter, or any interest in helping her fulfill any fantasies she might have."
"I know that, Jim. I saw the expression on your face when she said she wanted you; nobody that wanted to get in bed with her could have looked quite the way you did. I'm just at a total loss about what to do about all this. Coming in, I thought that all we'd have to do was find out what was bothering her so much and then do whatever we could to fix it. But after what she said… and the questions she asked… I just don't know."
"You know I'll do what I can to help, Doris – but she isn't my daughter. I'm sorry, but you're the one that's going to have to make the final decision."
"I know. I understood, even when all you did was shrug at me. Thing is, I don't even know where to start trying to figure this out."
"that much I think I can help with. If I can offer a suggestion?"
"Please!"
"Get a pad and pencil, and while it's still fresh in your mind, write down everything she said and asked – each one on it's own line. Reorganize them, so that the things she said or asked that are alike are grouped together in whatever way makes sense to you. Then go through them one at a time, and deal with each one by itself. When you've done that, read everything you wrote for each group and write a brief summary for it before going on to the next. Finally, read all the summaries to see what things contradict each other, and which ones are similar before making whatever changes you have to to make the contradictions go away. After you've done all that, you should know what you want to do… which should give you some idea of how to do it."
Doris just sat there for a few seconds, blinking at me, before saying "That's a damn good idea. I see how it works, too. I'll do it!"
Hurriedly, she found a pad of paper and a pen, and quickly wrote down everything she remembered. After she read it aloud to me, I reminded her of a couple of other things, which she added to the list. She tore off the page with the list, and marked off each item on it as she got it re-ordered on a fresh sheet. Once she'd gotten that far, "all" that was left for her was the thinking part. I stayed with her as she worked, answering her infrequent questions and doing what I could to help without intruding on her thought processes.
A little over an hour later, she set the pen aside before standing up and stretching. Then she came over to where I was sitting, and leaned over to give me a kiss before telling me "Thank you, Jim. Not just for the suggestion, but for helping me without getting in the way."
I gave her butt a caress and squeeze as I told her "My pleasure… on both counts."
When she'd sat down again, she looked over what she'd written before telling me "Here's how it looks to me… First, she's right – society today isn't what it was when I was growing up. That brings up the second thing: whether I like it or not, she isn't as naive and ignorant about life as I was at her age. Which means, thirdly, that she's going to be more knowledgeable and aware. So fourth, since she IS more those things, she's going to have more opportunity to demonstrate that she's mature and responsible. Fifth, what she said she wants, and why, tell me that she's really thought it through. Finally, the things she said about what she expects from all of it lets me know that she's at least trying to be as grown up about it as she should be."
Taking a deep breath, Doris told me "Jim, she isn't like how I was at her age. I can either bitch and moan about it, or I can simply accept it as the fact that it is. I'm not going to pretend that I'm happy about what she wants – but I probably wouldn't be if it happened any time while I was alive. But I have to admit that she gave me good reasons about why she wants what she does. I think she also made a case for why she should be allowed to have it."
After pausing for a few moments, Doris looked me in the eyes and said "Jim, my virgin teenage daughter wants you to be the one she gives herself to the first time… and even after that, if I understood her correctly. I'm telling you that not only would I not have a problem with that, I'd be happy for her – because I know that you'd do right by her, and help her learn what sex should be like. I'm telling you that you have my permission to take her to bed and make a woman of her, and that's what I'll tell her, too. If you can't or won't do that for her, then it'll be up to you to tell her why."
As I'd listened to Doris go through her list, I'd figured that she was probably going to be agreeable to what Gail had said; when she told me the rest of it, I'd known what her decision had been before she'd said it. But it was still something of a surprise to hear her just come right out and tell me she was okay with me fornicating with her teenage daughter. Still, I did notice one thing that Doris hadn't said anything about.
"What about you, Doris?", I asked.
"What do you mean, 'what about me'?"
"You just said that if you understood correctly, she might want me to be with her even after her first time. But everything else you said, it sounded like you expected it would be just one time with her. So my question is: what about you? How are you going to feel if she wants it to be more than just once? If I'm in her bed, then I'm not going to be in yours – how is that going to work?"
Doris made a face before answering "I thought about that. Yeah, there's no denying that it's going to be… different, knowing that you'd do to Gail what you do to me. But I love her, Jim – more than I could ever say. There isn't a doubt in my mind that you'd be everything she needed if you agreed to be the one she's with the first time; and after that, I don't doubt that you'd be the same way with her as you are with me: patient and loving and gentle when she needs it, or passionate and lusty and enthusiastic if those were what she wanted. Knowing that you were doing right by her, whatever she needed or wanted… that's all I'd need to be okay with it. Are you saying you'll do it?"
"Not yet – if ever", I answered. "Even with her saying she wants me to, and you saying you don't mind – it's still something I'm going to have to think about before I can say anything. One thing I will tell you is that it would be a good idea to get her on some kind of birth control; I don't think any of us wants her getting pregnant at fifteen, no matter who does the honors…"