The first obstacle she ran into was at the entrance to the housing area where an MP roadblock had been set up. Hailed down, she was informed by a young MP who came across as being just as nervous as she was that military dependents were not allowed to leave the area. When she tried to explain to him that she had to pick up a wife who was living in town, the MP held his ground, insisting that she turn around and go back. Pat, being the kind of woman who took great pleasure in defying nonsensical bureaucratic rules overseas dependents such as she were expected to adhere whenever they got in her way, decided to escalate the confrontation by informing the private she wished to speak to his superior.
Not used to being challenged by a dependent wife, and at a loss as to how best to handle this situation, the MP decided it was best if he allowed his sergeant to deal with the obnoxious woman. The sergeant, naturally, repeated the demand that Pat turn around at once and go home. “I’m sorry, miss, you can’t go off post.”
Having learned that there were ways of dropping Sean’s rank without coming across as being a pushy bitch, Pat played her trump card. “Sergeant, like I explained to the other MP, the wife of one of my husband’s platoon leaders is at a gasthaus in town and has no way of getting in. I’m simply going to get her. Now, unless you or your commander are willing to fetch her yourself as she and other dependents living off post have been ordered to, I have no choice but to do so myself.”
The sergeant thought about this a moment before telling Pat to wait while he checked with his platoon leader. After a few minutes, he came back and informed her she was to go straight to the gasthaus, pick up the woman, and come straight back. “Don’t stop for anyone or anything, lady. And make sure you check back with me when you return.” Both the NCO’s tone of voice and the precautions he took before letting her go, which included taking her name, her husband’s name and unit, the make and model of the car, its license number, and someone the MPs could contact in case she didn’t return in a reasonable period of time worried Pat, leaving her to wonder if this was such a good idea. But she was committed, and Sue Garger was depending on her.
As it turned out, the rush to fetch Sue Garger turned out to be unnecessary, for the old Army rule of hurry up and wait was just as applicable to military families as it was for their husbands. When it became apparent to Cathy Hall, the wife of 1st of the 4th Armor’s battalion commander and Sean’s peacetime superior, that they would not be evacuated for some time, she took it upon herself to call around and check on the battalion’s wives and pass on whatever information she had. This included an admission by someone in the administration back in Washington that it felt there was a need to maintain the appearance of normalcy for as long as possible in order to give diplomacy a chance to work. So the evacuation of dependents was being delayed for as long possible, causing some of the older wives to compare that decision to the Iranian hostage crisis, where the families were pulled out of Tehran only at the last minute and in great haste. Pat, in particular, was not at all pleased that she and her children were being kept in place just for appearances, but like Cathy Hall, she kept her own council. Grousing over the stupidity of such a move at a time when everyone’s nerves were on edge, she reasoned, would do no one a bit of good.
As that first day wore on and it became apparent that the families were not going to go anytime soon, the wives began to visit each other and let the children out to play. In the midst of this forced calm, Cathy Hall put out the word that she was going to host a potluck dinner for the battalion wives. Most of them, with children in tow, showed up. And even though the conversations were guarded and there was a pall on the whole affair, anything was better than sitting alone and worrying, proving there was some comfort in collective misery.
As the days wore on Pat, like most of the other wives, began to suffer from physical and mental exhaustion as more and more dependents whose husbands were part of Sean’s company began to come to her seeking help, company, and solace. With no husband to help her along or buoy her flagging spirits, the pressure on her began to build. Pressure to be mother and father. Pressure to set the example for Sue and the other wives. Pressure to make sure all was ready to go the second word came. Pressure to keep from giving in and curling up in a corner and crying.
The most difficult demand she had to deal with was helping the children through it all. Sean had always been around whenever there had been a big crisis in the family, or a major decision needed to be made. Even when the battalion was in the field, he could always be reached by phone in an emergency. But now he was gone and unable to help with the biggest crisis Pat had ever faced. Having Sue Garger staying with her did help after she’d calmed down some. But Sue was even more lost than Pat, for she was new to the Army and its ways. So Pat found herself with no choice but to bottle up her fears and apprehensions and continued to stumble along the dark and twisting trail she now found herself on alone.
The second day dragged along like the first. AFN TV came back on but spent most of the time making public service announcements and broadcasting news that really didn’t tell anyone anything. Even when it wasn’t broadcasting public service announcements, somehow the idea of watch television shows that were months old seemed annoyingly odd. Rain in the afternoon only made the dark and apprehensive mood of the community worse.
It wasn’t until that evening that official word and instructions for the evacuation of the community finally came down. When it did, it was like a vent had been opened, relieving some of the pressure that had been building up. At least now they knew for sure they would be going and had a rough idea of when. For the sixth time in two days, Pat went over the evacuation kit that had been sitting by the door. Blankets, food, water, cups, diapers, a small first-aid kit, a change of clothes for the boys, two for Sarah, a pocket knife, coloring books for the children, and other such essential sat packed and ready to go.
All that remained now was to tell the children, a task Pat dreaded. She had put this off for as long as possible in the hope that some sanity would prevail and the whole affair would blow over. But there was no more putting it off. Before putting them to bed, she gathered them on little Sean’s bed and sat down with them. She told them that tomorrow they were going to leave Germany and visit Grandma’s. Kurt, a happy child who took life at face value, was overcome with joy. He jumped up and down and began to ask what toys he could take. Sarah simply looked at Pat and tried to say Grandma, a word she had heard but could not associate with an object since she had never seen her grandparents.
As anticipated, little Sean, a quiet child who thought things through before speaking, was proving to be the tough case. His first question was about his father, “Is Daddy coming with us?”
“No, Daddy’s not coming with us.”
“Why?”
“Daddy has to stay here and work. Remember I told you he went to the field? Well, he is still in the field with his company. He can’t come with us this time.”
“When will we see Daddy again?”
“Daddy will come and join us when he is finished in the field.”
“When will that be?”
Exasperated by this line of questioning, Pat hesitated. She felt sorry for the boy. He was old enough to understand some of what was going on, but not yet able to make any sense of it all. That, and the way his line of questions heightened her own fears and apprehensions made their pending departure all the more difficult for Pat to come to terms with. Before she lost her restraint and began to cry, she cut short the question-and-answer period and told Sean that his father would be home as soon as he could. Though she could see it didn’t satisfy him, it was the best she could do.