Kyle hesitates only a second before taking Ryan’s hand in his. “You got it. Good luck.”
“You too.”
We watch the cannibals go one by one down into the drain. The cleaning crew doesn’t even stop their work. A thin river of blood and water pours through the hole on top of the cannibals as they leave. They’ll be covered in blood when they get home, but they should count themselves lucky it isn’t theirs.
“What’s the plan now?” Ryan asks me when they’re gone.
“You and Trent go look around. Mingle. Whatever,” I say with a shrug, not really concerned what trouble they get themselves into. They can go set the display tree on fire for all I care. Things can’t get much worse than they already are.
“What are you going to do?”
I angrily chew on the inside of my lip until I taste blood. “I’ve got a date with a pimp.”
***
“Where is he?”
The guard—another Hive member, judging by the hornet tattoo on his neck—looks me up and down.
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why do you want to know where he is?”
“Why do you think?” I ask hotly.
The guy smirks. “For the same reason all the women look for him.”
“Unless all the women here are looking to kick his ass, then no.”
“That doesn’t make me want to help you find him.”
I turn away in frustration to head up the hall. “I’ll find him myself, dick!”
“Roof.”
I stop, looking over my shoulder at him. “Why?”
His smirk becomes a grin. “Why what?”
“Why are you telling me?”
“Because you’re not a Colony girl. You’re a wild girl. He likes wild girls.”
“You’re still a dick.”
He laughs. “So are you, wild thing.”
When I reach the roof, there he is—just as the hornet downstairs told me he would be. He’s sitting on the edge of the roof, his legs dangling, his back to me. It’s a dangerous position he’s in, and no eyes on the entrance? It worries me more than impresses me.
“What’s on your mind, Joss?” Vin asks without turning.
I sigh before going to sit next to him. The anger I had building inside of me is dying out. Maybe it’s because I’m tired, but it’s probably because it doesn’t matter. I’m still alive. The cannibals got out alive. One Colonist died—I genuinely feel bad about that, but it could have been worse. So, so much worse. All in all, if I survive to see the sunrise, I’ll count it as a good night.
When I sit, I let my legs dangle off the edge of the building as well. Like a little kid. A little kid sitting three stories above the ground, tempting fate, begging it to take its best shot.
“Nothing much,” I lie.
“Did they send you up to tell me to hand over the Colony?”
“Nope.”
“Then why are you here?”
“Not for the company, that’s for sure.”
“Spill it,” he insists.
I glare at him before looking away out over the black water. “Why’d you do it?”
“You mean why did I leave you hanging?”
“Almost literally, yes. I don’t feel safe being here anymore.”
“You shouldn’t. You shouldn’t feel safe anywhere. That’s when your guard goes down and you die.”
“Did you want them to kill me?”
“No.”
“Then why didn’t you help me?”
“Your boy helped. You don’t need me, Kitten.”
“Is that what this is about? Ryan?”
“Get over yourself,” he scoffs. “No.”
I throw my hands up in frustration. “Then what is it about?”
“It’s about this place,” he hisses fiercely. “It’s about this building and the people in it.”
I stare at him, shocked. Then something slowly begins to occur to me: he’s not actually angry. He’s feral, like an animal. An animal protecting his territory.
“It’s your house. You want to keep this Colony and I’m a threat to that.”
“I took it. I did that. And I did it half dead.”
I pause, feeling scared, but it’s weird because I think I was already feeling it. It’s not a new feeling; it’s an uncovering. It’s shining light on something that’s been hidden in the shadows of my mind since I got here. I think I’ve known something was wrong since the moment I walked in the building.
Something is off, something is missing.
Someone is missing.
“When Breanne died,” I begin, my voice whisper quiet, “you weren’t alone, were you?”
Vin curses harshly under his breath. It’s all the answer I need.
“Nats is dead.”
He nods.
Tears sting my eyes, hot and angry. I will them back, I pull them inside, and I swallow the rough, salty tang down into my stomach where it burns like lava.
“How?” I whisper shakily.
The worst thing is that Vin doesn’t give me a hard time. I’m emotional, I’m obviously nearly weeping beside him, and he doesn’t say a word about it—that’s how bad it is, how hard it’s hitting him, and it makes it so much worse because it somehow makes it more real.
“She was standing watch over me after you left. I was in and out of it, sweating and aching, feeling like I was dying because I was. Sometime the next day I woke up to fighting. It was Nats and Breanne. On instinct I reached under my pillow for a knife. I always kept one there in The Hive, just in case. I was surprised to actually find one. Nats knew. She must have put it there. She fought Breanne hard, but the entire time she was asking her to stop. To remember we were family. I pulled myself out of the bed to help her, but I fell on the floor. I couldn’t stand up straight. I was useless. When I looked up, Breanne had sunk a kitchen knife into Nats’ chest. To the hilt.” Vin coughs roughly, rubbing his hand over his mouth. “She pounced on me, but she was too excited. She didn’t see my knife. I put it in her stomach three times, then I tossed her aside. I lay there on the ground with her and I watched her die. It took hours.”
“Where’s Nats now?”
“She’s buried by the water. Breanne and Caroline are buried by the wall. I wanted to toss them to the zombies, but…”
“But what?”
He runs his hand over his face briskly. “I thought better of it.”
“It would have been an aggressive move for this crowd.”
“That’s what I thought, but they were pretty eager to throw out that option tonight.”
“You were already thinking of ruling this place the second I killed Caroline, weren’t you? Or was it when they asked you to go home and bring back help?”
He chuckles darkly. “I’ve been thinking about ruling this place since we walked in the door.”
“You’ll never be able to keep it. Not once word gets out that you have it.”
“I know that.”
“Marlow will want it and you’ll have to give it. You owe him a lot.”
“I don’t owe anybody anything,” he replies, his tone harsh.
I glance over at him to find his jaw clenched tightly, the muscles working under his skin.
“You care about this place, don’t you?”
“I always watch after what’s mine.”
“This isn’t like the stables, though. Those were Marlow’s. This is real to you, isn’t it? This place really means something.”
He sighs heavily, the air sliding past his lips for what feels like eternity. When he finally speaks his voice is shockingly soft, all of the anger seeming to have slipped out of him.
“In The Hive people feared me. There were a few that knew me better than the others, ones who weren’t afraid of me, but they were of Marlow. That entire place is run on fear. I never knew there was any other way.”
“They respect you here, I can see it. I saw it in the rec room when you talked to them. They listened and it was because they love you, not fear you.”
He nods. “It’s different.”
“And you don’t want to go back to the old way?”
“I don’t know what I want.”
“I think you do.”
“I’m surprised about your boy,” Vin says suddenly.