Ryan stares back at Vin for a long time. I don’t bother speaking up. I don’t tell them I’m my own person and they don’t need to defend me, that I’m no one’s property, blah, blah, blah. They wouldn’t listen to me, so why bother? And here’s the real bitch of it: I don’t know that it’s necessarily true. I don’t know that they’re wrong.
I remember the way Marlow looked at me when I was in his Hive. I remember what it felt like to tell him I was a Benjamin, the reaction he had and the feeling it gave me in the pit of my stomach. I know what it means, I’m not an idiot. I understand what Vin can see, what Marlow wants, and what Ryan will die to protect it.
“I’ll kill Marlow.”
I close my eyes, feeling defeated.
Ryan is completely calm, completely certain, and completely out of his friggin’ mind.
“Ryan, you—” I begin tiredly, opening my eyes.
“Give me an opening and I’ll kill Marlow.”
I feel sick to my stomach, but Vin is grinning.
“Hyperion,” he says slowly, “you got yourself a deal.”
Chapter Eleven
“He’s playing you!” I shout at Ryan.
My voice echoes off the hard, gray walls of the showers. We’re waiting for the line to form outside—the line of Colonists being rounded up and sent away down the tunnels to hide from Marlow and his men. Vin has a lot of confidence in his ability to talk Marlow down from killing everyone inside, but he’s not insane. Confidence does not equal a sure thing, so the entire place—aside from the Guard—is being evacuated. Trent seems pretty sure we can find our way out without getting lost and dying in the dark. As much as I trust his wicked sharp eyes and bizarre computer brain that probably mapped every inch of tunnel we’ve seen so far, I have my doubts. About everything.
Right now as I stand in front of Ryan shouting, I know people can hear us—especially the guards just outside the door—but I don’t care. I’m angry and they can all know it. I hope they feel it, taste it. Choke on it.
To my surprise, Ryan laughs. “Of course he’s playing me.”
“Then why did you agree to it?”
“Because it needs to be done.”
“You can’t kill Marlow.”
“He’s a man. All men can be killed. Vin will find me the opening to make it happen.”
“He’ll screw you over is what he’ll do.”
“Not on this. He needs Marlow dead just as much as I do.”
“Why do you need him dead?”
“Because it’s the only way to make sure he never lays a hand on you.”
“We could leave like you were talking about.”
“You said not until this is over. It’s a long way from over.”
“I don’t care what I said! We’ll leave right now.” I grab his arm, tugging on him hard. He’s too strong. I can’t move him. “Let’s go!”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m not a coward.”
“Well, I am. Let’s go!”
Ryan smiles at me as I keep yanking on his arm. “No, you’re not.”
“I’m scared and I’m ready to run. That’s a coward.”
“But you’re not scared for you. You’re scared for me.”
“What’s the difference?”
“A lot.”
I try a different tactic—one I’ve never used before. One I don’t even know how to use.
I stand in front of him, taking his face in my hands and pressing my body to his. His eyes turn wary. He knows what I’m doing, but he’s not about to stop me. He breathes in deeply before weaving his arms around my waist and holding me to him.
“Please, Ryan,” I whisper, my eyes begging his. “Please don’t try to do this. You’re not a murderer. It’s not worth it.”
He leans his head down until our foreheads are touching. “It is to me.”
“Not to me. And if you die…” I can’t finish that sentence. I can’t even finish the thought.
“If anything happens to me, Trent will get you out of the city. He’ll run with you.”
“Why don’t you run with me now?”
“Because it’s not only about you. It’s about every person in this building. It’s about everyone in The Hive. All the women in the stables, the babies being traded to the Colonies.”
“Crenshaw’s daughter,” I mumble.
“Yeah. With Marlow and the Colonies gone, things could be different.”
“They could get worse.”
“Or they could get better. We’ll never know until we try. Which is why you need to go. Now.”
He’s right, but he’s also wrong. We have to try. We have to get Marlow out of power, but what he’s wrong about is me. I’m not going anywhere. Not without him.
“All right,” I say quietly, pulling away. “I’ll go.”
He’s not buying it. I don’t have to look at him to know it; I can feel it in the way he doesn’t answer me—and just as I’m planning on double-crossing him, I get the feeling he’s going to double-cross me. It’s all for the greater good and because everybody cares about everybody, but in the end isn’t it all just lying? I don’t care what color you paint it, it’s still ugly.
I hear footsteps down the hall. People are filing into the doorway, nervous eyes scanning the room like they suspect they’re being led to the slaughter. Like they’re looking for more blood and bodies. More hungry cannibals licking their lips and gnashing their teeth.
Trent leads the way, jumping smoothly down into the drain. Ryan and the guards from outside start to lead people toward the hole, the first group being the Team Leaders that were captured and held inside the building, used to keep up communication with the other Colonies. It was Trent’s idea to bring them out. He said we might need them again when we made our move against the stadiums. They could help us walk right through the front door.
I watch as they go one by one down into the darkness, a few familiar faces (Melissa included) passing me by slowly, and I start to wonder how long this is going to take. There are a lot of people here, and even if all of them aren’t going, enough are. And they’re making a lot of noise.
I bolt from the room. I don’t bother using stealth or finesse; it doesn’t matter. Ryan has his hands halfway to the center of the world helping to lower people down. He doesn’t even see me leave.
When I’m halfway to the roof, I hear the first blast. It’s far off, but not far enough. I’d say it came from somewhere within a five-block radius and it’s not alone. It’s followed quickly by another. Then another.
I weave through the now panicking crowd up the stairs, breaking into a run wherever I can find the space. Once I reach the fire stairs heading toward the roof, I’m completely alone. Right until I find him.
He’s exactly where I expected him to be: right where he was last night as dawn was breaking and he was worrying about losing his castle. Beyond him on the horizon I can see plumes of smoke rolling into the sky. It’s something I usually only see on this scale during market days when all the gangs meet, eat, drink, barter, and make me ache with loneliness.
“What was it?” I ask Vin.
“The barricades keeping the Risen up against the outer gate. He’s blowing them. In the next twenty minutes the outside will be swarming with more zombies than it’s seen in years.”
“And Marlow will be inside.”
“That’s the plan.” He glances over his shoulder at me. “Isn’t it also the plan that you leave with everyone else?”
“That’s Ryan’s plan, not mine.”
“He wants to keep you safe.”
“And you’re using that to your advantage.”
He looks away again. “I use everything to my advantage.”
“And everyone?” I ask hotly.
He ignores me.
“I’m not going.”
“I’m not surprised. He’ll kill Marlow whether you’re here or not.”
“Not if I kill Marlow first.”
Vin shoots me a look so sharp it hurts. I feel it sting in my skin as my heart rate spikes painfully. “You will not,” he snarls.