“Oh my God,” Annabel moaned. “Uncle Percy.”
“Is apparentlymy uncle Percy,” Sebastian said, shaking his head.
“Cousin, I should think,” Lady Vickers said briskly. “Now then, are we going to move him or not? And I still haven’t heard either one of you thanking me for throwing myself on the bayonet here, so to speak.”
It was true. As much as her grandmother had got her into this mess, insisting that Annabel marry Lord Newbury in the first place, she was certainly doing her best to get her out of it. There would be a terrific scandal, and Annabel didn’t even want to begin to imagine the cartoons and caricatures that would appear in the gossip papers. Although somehow she suspected her grandmother wouldn’t mind a little notoriety in her old age.
“Thank you,” Sebastian said, apparently finding his voice first. “It is much appreciated, I am sure.”
“Come along, come along.” Lady Vickers made littleget to it motions with her hands. “He’s not going to move himself into my bed.”
Sebastian grabbed his uncle under the arms again, and Annabel moved to his feet, but as she wrapped her hands around his ankles and began to lift, she heard a very peculiar sound. And when she looked up, her eyes wide with horror at what this had to mean…
Newbury’s eyes opened.
Annabel shrieked, and she dropped him.
“Almighty God,” her grandmother cried out. “Did neither of you check to see if he was even dead?”
“I just assumed,” Annabel protested. Her heart was racing, and she couldn’t seem to slow her breathing down. She sagged against the edge of the bed. It was like the time her brothers had thrown sheets over their heads and jumped out in front of her on All Hallows’ Eve, only a thousand times worse. A thousand thousand.
Lady Vickers turned her glare on Sebastian.
“I believed her,” he said, setting Lord Newbury’s head gently back down on the carpet. They all peered over him. His eyes had closed again.
“Is he dead again?” Annabel asked.
“If you’re lucky,” her grandmother said acerbically.
Annabel shot a frantic look at Sebastian. He was already staring at her, with an expression that clearly said,You didn’t check?
She tried to answer with her own widened eyes and hand signals, but she had a feeling she wasn’t making herself clear, and finally Sebastian just said, “What are yousaying ?”
“I don’t know,” she moaned.
“You two are worthless,” Lady Vickers grumbled. She marched forward and then crouched down.
“Newbury!” she barked. “Wake up.”
Annabel chewed on her lip and glanced nervously at the door. They had long since stopped trying to be quiet.
“Wake up!”
Lord Newbury started to make a moaning, mumbling sort of sound.
“Robert,” Lady Vickers snapped, “wake up.” She slapped him across the face. Hard.
Annabel looked up at Sebastian. He seemed as stunned as she was, and just as happy to let her grandmother take the lead.
Lord Newbury’s eyes opened again, fluttering like a sick cross between butterflies and jellyfish. He choked and gasped, trying to prop himself up on his elbows. He looked at Lady Vickers, his eyes making a few last incredulous blinks before he said, “Margaret?”
She slapped him again. “Idiot!”
He fell back down. “What the hell?”
“She is my granddaughter, Robert,” Lady Vickers hissed. “My granddaughter! How dare you!”
Every now and then, Annabel thought, her grandmother’s love for her shone through. Usually in the most peculiar ways.
“She was supposed to marry me,” Lord Newbury sputtered.
“And now she’s not. That doesn’t give you license toattack her.”
Annabel felt Sebastian’s hand slip into hers, warm and comforting. She gave it a squeeze.
“She tried to kill me,” Newbury said.
“I did not!” Annabel lurched forward, but Sebastian tightened his grip on her hand, holding her back.
“Let your grandmother take care of this,” he murmured.
But Annabel could not let the insult pass. “I was defending myself,” she said hotly.
“With a poker?” Newbury countered.
Annabel turned to her grandmother in disbelief. “How else would you have me defend myself?”
“Really, Robert,” Lady Vickers said, dripping with sarcasm.
He finally managed to heave himself into a sitting position, grunting and groaning all the while. “For God’s sake,” he snapped. “Will someone come and help me?”
No one did.
“I’m not strong enough,” Lady Vickers said with a shrug.
“What’she doing here?” Lord Newbury said, jerking his head toward Sebastian.
Sebastian crossed his arms and glowered. “I don’t think you are in any position to be asking questions.”
“Clearly I must take charge,” Lady Vickers announced, as if she had been doing anything but. “Newbury,” she barked, “you are to go back to your room and depart first thing in the morning.”
“I will not,” he said in a huff.
“Worried everyone will think you slunk away with your tail between your legs, eh?” she said shrewdly. “Well, consider the alternative. If you’re still here when I wake up, I’ll tell everyone you spent the night withme .”
Lord Newbury blanched.
“She generally sleeps late,” Annabel said helpfully. Her spirits were starting to return, and after all that Lord Newbury had done to her, she could not resist a little poke. Beside her she heard Sebastian smother a laugh, so she added, “But I don’t.”
“Furthermore,” Lady Vickers continued, giving Annabel a glare for having dared to interrupt, “you will put a halt to this ridiculous quest for a bride. My granddaughter is marrying your nephew and you’re going to let him inherit.”
“Oh no—” Lord Newbury started to rage.
“Silence,” Lady Vickers snapped. “Robert, you’re older than I am. It’s unseemly.”
“You were going to let me marry her,” he pointed out.
“That’s because I thought you woulddie .”
He looked a bit taken aback at that.
“Let it go gracefully,” she said. “For the love of God, look at you. If you take a wife, you’ll probably injure the poor thing in the process. Or die on top of her. And you two—” She whipped around to face Sebastian and Annabel, who were both trying not to laugh. “This isn’t funny.”
“Well, actually,” Sebastian murmured, “it is a bit.”
Lady Vickers shook her head, looking as if she’d dearly like to be rid of all of them. “Get out of here,” she said to Lord Newbury.
He did, making all sorts of angry sounds as he went. But they all knew that he would be gone by morning. He would probably resume his search for a bride; he wasn’t so cowed by Lady Vickers asthat . But any threat he might pose to Sebastian and Annabel’s marriage was gone.
“Andyou ,” Lady Vickers said dramatically. She was facing both Annabel and Sebastian, and it was difficult to tell who she meant. “You.”
“Me?” Annabel asked.
“Both of you.” She let out another of those dramatic sighs, then turned to Sebastian. “You are going to marry her, aren’t you?”
“I will,” he said solemnly.
“Good,” she grunted. “I don’t know that I could manage another disaster.” She patted her chest. “My heart, you know.”
Annabel rather suspected that her grandmother’s heart would outbeat her own.
“I’m going to bed,” Lady Vickers announced, “and I don’t want to be disturbed.”
“Of course not,” Sebastian murmured, and Annabel, sensing that some sort of filial comment was required, added, “May I get you anything?”