'Oh yes, sah,' he said sombrely. 'I shall never forget that date.'
'I don't suppose you will. I know Mr Godfrey Knurr arrived a few moments after the tragedy. Now my question is this: do you recall if he was at the house on Tuesday, January 23rd, the day before Mr Kipper died?'
Silence. Then. .
'I can't recall, sah. But if you'll be good enough to hang on a moment, I'll consult the book.'
'Wait, wait!' I said hastily. 'What book?'
'The house diary, sah,' he said. 'The first Mrs Kipper insisted it be kept. It was one of my father's duties. After the first Mrs Kipper and my father had both passed away, I kept it with the approval of the second Mrs Kipper. What it is, sah, is a diary or log of visitors, delivery of packages, repairs to the house, appointments, and so forth. Many large homes keep such a daily record, sah. It is invaluable when it becomes necessary to send Christmas cards, thank you notes, invitations, or to question tradesmen about promised deliveries and things of that nature.'
'Very efficient,' I said, beginning to hope. 'Could you consult the log, please, Chester, and see if the Reverend Knurr visited on Tuesday, January 23rd?'
'Just a moment, sah.'
He was gone more than a moment. I had crossed all fingers of both hands and was trying to cross my toes within my shoes when the butler came back on the phone.
'Mr Bigg?' he said. 'Are you there?'
'I am here,' I told him.
'Yes, sah, the diary shows that the Reverend Knurr visited on Tuesday, January 23rd. He arrived at approximately 3.30 p.m.'
'Any record of when he left?'
'No, sah, there is no record of that.'
'Thank you, Chester,' I said gratefully, uncrossing my digits. 'Just out of curiosity, where is this house diary kept?'
'In the kitchen, sah. In the back of one of the cutlery drawers.'
'I wonder if you would do me a favour, Chester. I wonder if you would take the house diary to your apartment and conceal it carefully. I realize that is a strange 307
request, but it is very important.'
He didn't speak for a while. Then he said softly:
'Very well, Mr Bigg, I shall do as you request.'
'Thank you,' I said.
'My pleasure, sah,' he said.
My case was looking better and better. I thought I had Knurr cold, and I refused to worry about how I might begin to prove it.
'I'll check in later,' I told Chester conspiratorially.
'I'll look forward to it, sah,' he said, then rang off.
The high points of my long, dull morning were two more inconclusive calls from cabdrivers. A few minutes before noon I went into the men's room to freshen for lunch with Yetta. At an adjoining basin Hamish Hooter was combing his black greasy locks sideways in a futile effort to conceal his growing tonsure.
He saw me reflected in the mirror and sucked his teeth noisily.
'See here, Bigg,' he said, the voice reedy but not aggrieved; smug, in fact. 'I understand you're having lunch with Yetta Apatoff today.'
'You understand correctly,' I said coldly.
He dried his hands busily on one paper towel. About a year previously, he had circulated a memo about the wasteful practice of using more than a single paper towel.
Hooter examined himself in the mirror with every evidence of approval. He passed a palm over his slickeddown hair. He attempted to straighten his rounded shoulders. He inhaled mightily, which caused his pot belly to disappear until he exhaled.
'Well,' he said, turning to face me, 'have a good time.
Enjoy it while you can.' Then he gave me a foxy grin and was gone.
When I walked out to meet Yetta, I saw at once that she was 'dolled up' and looked especially glowing and attractive. I thought this was in anticipation of lunch with me, and I swelled with male satisfaction. At the same time I imagined how shattered she would be by the can't-we-be-friends speech I had in mind. Especially when she'd gone to so much trouble.
Instead of the usual knitted suit she was wearing a dress of some shimmering stuff with a metallic gleam.
About her blonde curls was bound a light blue chiffon scarf. The electric combination of blue and green enhanced her creamy complexion, sweetly curved lips, and the look of innocence in those limpid brown eyes. Was I being too hasty in putting our relationship on a purely friendly basis?
We walked over to the Chinese restaurant, Yetta chattering briskly about a movie concerning creatures from outer space who descend to earth and turn everyone into toadstools. She assured me it had been one of the scariest movies she had ever seen.
'Also,' she added, 'it made you think.'
Then she babbled on about a used car her brother was thinking of buying, and about a girl she went to high school with who had recently obtained a job with the telephone company. Even for Yetta it was a manic performance.
All became clear over the wonton soup.
She reached across the table to put a hand heavily on mine and, since it was the hand holding my spoon, a fat wonton plumped back into the soup.
'Josh,' she said breathlessly, 'I wouldn't hurt you for the world.'
I stared at her, perplexed.
'First of all,' she started, 'I want it definitely understood that you and I can still be friends.'
Naturally I resented that. It was my line.
'Second of all,' Yetta went on, 'I have really enjoyed knowing you and these lunches and everything. I will never forget you, Josh.'
'What — ' I began.
'And third of all,' she said in a rush, 'Hamish Hooter asked me to marry him and I said yes. I know that must be a real downer for you, Josh, but I want you to know that I think I'm doing the right thing, and I've given it a lot of thought. He's not as cute as you are, Josh, that I freely admit, but he says he loves me and he needs me. Josh, you don't need me. Do you?'
There was no answer to that. I stared down into my soup bowl, saw it whisked away and a Number Three Combination slid into its place.
'Josh, don't take it too hard,' Yetta pleaded. 'It's best for all of us.'
Could I tell her that my heart was leaping upwards like a demented stag?
'You have your work,' she continued, 'and I know how important it is to you. Will you pass the sweet-and-sour sauce, please? So I thought — Hamish and I thought — that this would be the best way to tell you, honestly and straight out. He wanted to be here, but I said it would be best if I told you myself. . Josh,' Yetta Apatoff continued, staring at me with those guileless eyes, 'I hope you don't hate me?'
'Hate you?' I said, keeping any hint of glee out of my voice. 'How could I? All I want is what makes you happy.
Yetta, I wish you the best of everything. Hooter is a very lucky man.'
'Oh, Josh,' she said, sighing, 'you're so nice and understanding. I knew you would be. I told Hammy — that's what I call him: Hammy — I said, "Hammy, his heart may be broken, but he'll wish me the best of everything." That's what I told Hammy. Josh, is your heart broken? Could I have the mustard, please?'
I resisted the urge to suggest to Yetta that we go Dutch, and the lunch hour passed reasonably amicably, all things considered.
My first visitor upon my return to TORT was Hamish 310
Hooter. 'See here, Bigg,' he said. 'I guess Yetta told you the news?'
'She did,' I said, 'and I want to wish the two of you the best of everything.'
'Yes?' he said, surprised. 'Well, uh, thanks.'
'I hope you'll be very happy together,' I went on enthusiastically. 'I'm sure you will be. Congratulations.'
'Uh, thanks,' he said again. 'Listen, Bigg, you're being very decent about this.'
I made an 'it's nothing' gesture.
'If there's anything I can d o. . ' he went on lamely.
'Well, there is something. You know I've got an assistant now. Temporary at the moment, but my workload seems to increase every day. If a larger office becomes available, I'd appreciate it if you'd keep me in mind.'