He knew at once what I meant.
'You want to brace Tippi Kipper?' he said.
'That's right, Perce. Be absolutely honest with her. Lay out all we've got. Show her the marriage licence. I think she'll make a deal.'
'Mmm,' he said. 'Maybe. Belle, what do you think? Will it work?'
'A good chance,' she said on the extension. 'I'll bet my left tit he never told her he was married. A guy like him wouldn't be that stupid. And when you tell her about Glynis Stonehouse, it'll just confirm what she read in that poison-pen letter Josh sent her. She'll be burning. He played her for a sucker. She's a woman who's been around the block twice. Her ego's not going to let him make her a patsy. I'm betting she'll pull the rug on him.'
'Yeah,' Stilton said slowly. 'And we can always try the 415
publicity angle on her, just happen to mention we know about her prostitution arrest. She's a grand lady now; she'd die if that got in the papers.'
'Let's go after her,' I urged. 'Really twist.'
He made up his mind.
'Right,' he said, 'we'll do it. Go in early before she's had a chance to put herself together. Josh, I'll meet you outside the Kipper place at nine o'clock tomorrow morning. Got that? Bring all the paper, especially that marriage licence.'
'I'll be there,' I promised.
'We'll break her,' he said, beginning to get exited by the prospect. 'No rough stuff. Kid gloves. Very sincere and low-key. Treat a whore like a lady and a lady like a whore.
Who said that, Josh?'
'I'm not sure. It sounds like Lord Chesterfield.'
'Whoever,' he said.
'If you believe that, Perce,' Maybelle Hawks said, 'it makes me a lady.'
We all laughed, talked for a moment of how we should dress for our confrontation with Tippi Kipper, and then said goodnight.
I went immediately to my kitchen and began to eat ravenously. I cleaned out the refrigerator. I had three fried eggs, a sardine and onion sandwich, almost a quart of milk, a pint of chocolate ice cream. Then, still hungry, I heated up a can of noodle soup and had that with two vanilla cupcakes and half a cucumber.
Belching, I undressed and went into the shower. The water was blessedly hot. I soaped and rinsed three times, washed my hair, shaved, and doused myself with cologne.
Groaning with contentment, I rolled into bed about 1.00
a. m. It may have been my excitement, or perhaps that sardine and onion sandwich, but I did not fall asleep immediately. I lay on my back, thinking of what we would do in the morning, what we would say to Tippi Kipper, how important it was that we should break her.
I did not pray to God because, although I am a religious man, I did not much believe in prayer. What was the point — since God must know what is in our hearts? But I felt my lies and low cunning would be pardoned if they succeeded in bringing down Godfrey Knurr.
He was an abomination. As Jesse Karp had said, Knurr went bulling his way through life, all shoulders and elbows. He just didn't care; that was what I could not forgive. He exemplified brute force and brute morality. I felt no guilt for what I was trying to do to him.
Just before I fell asleep, I remembered Cleo Hufnagel. I realized, groaning that she had been out of my thoughts for days. I felt guilt about that.
7
On Saturday, the March sky was hard, an icy blue whitened by a blurry sun, and in the west a faded wedge of morning moon. Not a cloud. But an angry wind came steadily and swirled the streets.
I took a cab uptown and marvelled at how sharp the city looked, chopped out, everything standing clear. The air was washed clean, and pierced.
I was wearing my good pinstripe suit, vested, with a white shirt and dull tie. Stilton and I had agreed to dress like undertakers: conservative, solemn, but sympathetic.
Men to be trusted.
A dusty-blue Plymouth was parked in front of the Kipper townhouse. Behind the wheel was a carelessly dressed giant of a man with a scraggly blond moustache that covered his mouth. Percy sat beside him, looking like 417
a judge. He motioned me into the back seat. I climbed in, closed the door. I held my scruffy briefcase on my lap.
'Josh,' Perce said, 'this slob is Lou, my partner.'
'Good morning, Lou,' I said.
'Got all the paper?' Stilton asked.
'Everything,' I said, feeling slightly ill.
'Good,' he said. 'When we get inside, let me do the spiel.
You follow my lead. Just nod. You're the shill. Got that?'
'I understand.'
'Act sincere,' he said. 'You can act sincere, can't you?'
'Of course,' I said in a low voice.
'Sure you can,' he said. I knew he was trying to encourage me and I appreciated it. 'Don't worry, Josh, this is going down. This is going to be the greatest hustle known to living man. A classic.'
Lou spoke for the first time.
'The world is composed of five elements,' he stated.
'Earth, air, fire, water, and bullshit.'
'You're singing our song, baby,' Percy told him. 'Okay, Josh, let's do it.'
Chester Heavens came to the door.
'Gentlemen?' he said sombrely.
'Good morning, Chester,' I mumbled.
'Morning,' Percy said briskly. 'I am Detective Percy Stilton of the New York Police Department. I believe we've met before. Here is my identification.'
He flipped open his leather, held it up. Heavens peered at it.
'Yes, sah,' he said. 'I remember. How may I be of service?'
'It's important we see Mrs Kipper,' Stilton said. 'As soon as possible. She's home?'
Chester hesitated a moment, then surrendered.
'Please to step in,' he said. 'I'll speak with mom.'
We waited in that towering entrance hall. Heavens had disappeared into the dining room and closed the door. We 418
waited for what I thought was a long time. I fidgeted, but Stilton stood stolidly. Finally Chester returned.
'Mom will see you now,' he said, expressionless. 'She is at breakfast. May I take your things?'
He took our coats and hats, hung them away. He opened the door to the dining room, stood aside. Percy entered first. As I was about to go in, Chester put a soft hand on my arm.
'Bad, sah?' he whispered.
I nodded.
He nodded, too. Sorrowfully.
She was seated at the head of that long, shining table.
Regal. Wearing a flowing, lettuce-green peignoir. But her hair was down and not too tidy. Moreover, as I drew closer, I saw her face was slightly distorted, puffy. Staring, I saw that the left cheek from eye to chin was swollen, discoloured. She had attempted to cover the bruise with pancake makeup, but it was there.
Then I understood Godfrey Knurr's smarmy comment:
'I think I persuaded the lady.'
Stilton and I stood side by side. She stared at us, unblinking. She did not ask us to sit down.
'Ma'am,' Percy said humbly, 'I am Detective — '
'I know who you are,' she said sharply. 'We've met.
What do you want?'
'I am engaged in an official investigation of the Reverend Godfrey Knurr,' Stilton said, still apologetic. 'I hoped you would be willing to co-operate with the New York Police Department and furnish what information you can.'
She turned her eyes to me.
'And what are you doing here?' she demanded.
'Mr Bigg asked to come along, ma'am,' Percy said swiftly. 'The request for an investigation originated with his legal firm.'
She thought about that. She didn't quite believe, but she 419
didn't not believe. She wanted to learn more.
'Sit down then,' she said coldly. 'Both of you. Coffee?'
'Not for me,' Perce said, 'thank you, Mrs Kipper. You, Mr Bigg?'
'Thank you, no,' I said.
We drew up chairs, Stilton on her right, me on her left.