"He's losing it," the floor manager said.
"Yeah, he's no good without a script. Never was."
"Good thing this isn't going out nationwide."
"Yeah. Wait a minute." The news director shouted back toward the studio. "Hey, somebody get a camera on this for rebroadcast later."
"Are you crazy? He's falling apart up there!"
"Yeah," said the news director, "but it's great television."
Chapter 31
Harold W. Smith stared at the bizarre image on his tiny television screen and said, "That is not Don Cooder."
"Are you blind!" shrieked the Master of Sinanju. "It is the fiend himself."
"A minute ago you were blaming Dieter Banning and the Canadians," Remo pointed out.
Chiun's voice grew frosty. "Who is to say this man is not in league with the wicked Canadians? Or a secret Canadian himself."
"Not you, that's for sure," Remo retorted.
"His mouth looks Canadian-thin and merciless," said Chiun, padding up to Harold Smith and facing him across his pathologically neat desk. "Emperor Smith, the villain has revealed himself for all to see. His motives are clear."
"They are?" Smith said.
"Yes, yes. Are you blind too? He is jealous of Cheeta. You yourself heard how he threatened her on television."
Remo caught Smith's eyes. "He has a point there."
"Perhaps. But that is not Don Cooder," Smith said flatly. "It is an animated graphic."
Remo took a closer look at the TV screen. His eyes were so heightened by the discipline of Sinanju that he had to focus hard, otherwise all he saw were the changing pixels, like colorful amoebae living out some superfast life cycle. "Yeah, you're right," he said. "Does that mean Audion is trying to frame Cooder?"
"It fits Audion's pattern to date. He has thrown suspicion on virtually every network and its news division."
"But why the news divisions every time? I mean, if he's attacking the networks, why go after the news? Aren't they the least profitable?"
"But the most visible for Audion's purposes. Each anchor functions as a kind of living symbol of his network. No, this is sound strategy."
"So we're nowhere?"
"No," said Smith. "We have an abundance of facts. There must be a way-"
Chiun made clutching motions with his long-nailed fingers and said, "Emperor Smith, allow Remo and I to descend upon every television station and I promise you we will wring the truth out of the secret oppressors."
"Like you wrung the truth out of Dieter Banning?" asked Remo.
"Pah! He is but a tool of baser fiends."
Smith raised his hands. "Please, Master Chiun. Reckless violence will not smoke out Captain Audion. We must attack this with logic."
Chiun made a face. "I am a Korean, not a Greek. I do not practice logic."
Harold Smith was staring at the TV screen on which the talking TV set with Don Cooder's face continually gestured and spoke. The sound was off.
"There is a reason for this," Smith mused. "Just as there was a reason Audion prematurely terminated his earlier transmission."
"Sure," said Remo. "Because he wanted everyone to think he was Banning."
"Possible. But he is not Banning. Yet he has to be someone in the television industry, if not currently, then at one point in the past."
"How do you figure that?"
"It takes enormous technical skill to engineer a broadcast and cable interruption of this magnitude," Smith explained. "As well as sophisticated equipment and deep financial reserves."
Chiun spoke up. "Those anchors are paid obscene amounts of money. Remo has said so."
Remo snapped his fingers suddenly. "Hey! Maybe Cheeta's behind this!"
The Master of Sinanju turned a slow crimson and stared at his pupil coldly.
"Then again," Remo amended, "maybe not."
"This person must have the contacts to plant his agents in many networks and TV stations for sabotage purposes," Smith continued as if speaking to himself. "He is powerful. He is wealthy. And he has a compelling reason for attacking television."
"Comes back to Captain Audacious, Jed Burner," said Remo. "Both are captains and Burner's company symbol is an anchor. It all fits."
"Emperor," Chiun said breathfully, "I will go to Atlanta this time, to atone for my previous mistake. I will tear through the evil tower of Jed and topple it into ruins, as the walls of Jericho fell. This will end the darkness that has blighted your kingdom, O Smith."
Frowning, Smith changed the channel to KNNN. The bizarre computer image of Don Cooder was playing there too, but in what seemed to be a three-minute delay.
"This is a cable signal," he said, "microwaved from the KNNN tower to a satellite and downlinked to an earth station. It should not-"
Then, Harold Smith's TV screen gave out a hissy pop and the screen went dead.
"What was that?" he gasped.
"Looks like the tube blew, Smitty."
Reaching for the selector knob, Smith changed channels by hand. The blackout signal returned.
"Guess it's fine," muttered Remo.
Smith switched back to cable. He got snow.
"Then why am I not receiving the cable signal?" he mused.
Lips thinning, Smith put in a call to his local cable company. He spoke for several minutes, then hung up.
"The cable company has been knocked out of commission," he explained.
"How?"
"Captain Audion is very clever. He can mask broadcast signals for as long as he continues broadcasting, but his plants in the cable-only stations can get away with covering up their sabotage of the outgoing signals only so long. Audion has figured out a way to knock out cable companies, one by one."
"Yeah? How?"
"Because of the proliferation of nonauthorized cable boxes, the companies had developed the technology to remotely disable the boxes when they are illegal or illegally tampered with to obtain an unauthorized channel. It is called a magic bullet-a fanciful name for an electronic pulse sent through the cable itself and designed to short out the box. In practice, an illegal box owner would be forced to call the company for a service call, thus exposing himself to the company."
"Yeah, I read about those. But your box isn't illegal-is it?"
Smith looked pained. "Of course not. Someone at the local cable company has sent a magic bullet that has disabled every box, legal or not, in the system. The company tells me their phones are ringing off the hook."
"Great. Audion keeps raising the ante. But why? He's got his money. Is he asking for more?"
Smith turned up the sound.
Captain Audion was saying, "What's the frequency, Kenneth? People say that to me a lot. They want to know what it means. The truth is it doesn't mean anything. It's just a lot of bull's wool. Like Cheeta Ching's hair. "
Smith lowered the sound. "It does not sound as if he is doing anything more than dominating the airwaves for his own amusement."
"Air hog," sniffed Chiun. "Why does he not let Cheeta speak?"
"Why he is back on the air is what concerns us," Smith said. "It makes no sense. Unless . . ."
"Yeah?"
"Unless there is something he did not wish to go out over the air. Remo, do you recall what you were watching when KNNN went off the air?"
"Nothing. I was reading Calvin and Hobbes."
"Er, yes. I remember now. A report had just come on. Quebec was mentioned, was it not?"
"Yeah, I remember now."
"What did the report say?"
"Search me. I wasn't looking at the TV. When I looked up, I saw snow."
Smith smoothed his tie. "Snow . . . KNNN is not a broadcast station, yet it was knocked off the air. When it came back on, it was blacked out just like the others." He picked up the telephone with one hand and queried his computer with the other, stabbing out the phone number that appeared on the screen.